We talk about being positive, having positive attitude and positive approach towards life.
Today Positivism has filled every corner of our life its there at the work or in our home, where the need and demand is growing at a very fast pace just as the technology is making our live’s vulnerable and stressful. The global life of an average person is being run over by stress , confusion, crises, tension, unfulfilled needs, desires complexities, problems, pain, suffering, and delusions that has become more or less an identity if that very person.
For Instance , If we have a person who is every day ranting about his promotion at the work place, this person’s identity becomes different unlike his skill or name he might be called as Mr. promotion or a real example about a women ( here one of my friend ) who loves to splurge and go after brand shopping, it were no problem if she kept all that to herself rather pulling us who cannot spend so much and looks down upon us, for this i actually gave her a name i.e Ms Price Tag.
There is nothing to ridicule about such people by assigning them names and they happen to be everywhere among our friends, family, relatives, acquaintances etc who they are or how they relate to us is not the problem but the problem is that their goodness hides behind these over expressive attitudes and becomes extinct in wake of such behavior which is so frequent and predictable that none can expect anything else other than what they actually do everyday.
And Since this becomes the routine, it gets much harder to change or break such attitudes that stem from problems itself, because every kind of problematic attitude has origin that was first limited to that person and gradually spreads around as attitudinal problem that was formed to overcome the problem but happens to become more complicated. Such people are then stereotyped and named and the same notions are passed on to others even the new members who come in to their contact.
Everything that was positive or could be positive or explored positive fades out and even deteriorates with time. It is very important to prick the attitudinal balloon right away at the right time before it inflates and spreads and start acquiring space. The task is pretty hard and gigantic but still some can lead to make efforts in the right direction with right attitude. It really pains me a lot when the person is prejudged for his/her behavior on the basis of observation or the information provided by others around them.
So it becomes relevant in view of the above consequences to bring change among the people in question who may not readily agree to accept the harshness they carry in their attitude or that something they do affects the mental setup of the other people around them. And thus it becomes next to impossible that anyone can bring change to them, for if we begin to try they might never agree to it and will investigate about the source of positivity that is coming from me or you for that matter.
But we cannot cease to look for change and bring out the goodness in them even if they abhor us for doing so. Because even we are not complete perfectionist or having really really good behavior, we have our fair share of mistakes and problems that we carry along and so it becomes difficult.
Its only if we can create a balance and complete positive outlook about ourselves first even if we are ignored, deprived, or hated for some period but then if we keep gauging and encouraging the other person’s goodness to bring it out more in conversations and actions in front of the other people as well and get it all reinforced from others too, we can very well change the problematic attitude.
Life is great for some people who are born with disarming looks along a life of riches which makes things easier for them to achieve. And for those born into average looks and lead an average life things dont come easy to them , if it does its attributed to either destiny or luck, but if they dont appear even after hard work and struggles it all comes down to even below average where another sorts of problems collect around them.
I suppose that there are a plenty of people on this planet who lead a very plain life and often at some point of time would have desired if things could be reversed like the way they were born, or if they had paid attention to their looks earlier or if their parents were keen enough to care for them even more like the parents of the other kids do for them. we all must have felt this way certainly because we are born unhappy since the day we are born we begin life by crying and end it up crying for things we could never have or be born with.
The major portions of life for women alt east runs around their looks , how attractive they are or how others think about them, the way they should dress but cannot, the makeup they can put on but cannot afford to have, and even to wear and be like those divas on the ramp but they cannot because they have got other better things to do that are safe and acceptable rather than walking the ramp.
These thoughts that beauty gets all are not mine they are coming from generations that a person gets everything in life if they are attractive and have an eye catching personality .And since generations these thoughts have hardened so much that they cannot be broken down maybe stereotypical of me to think but i cannot refrain ignoring it when i have vicarious experiences to share that yes beauty outnumbers brain.
Talking of my school days, i recollect how the most beautiful girls of my class quoted ” After school i will marry the man of my dreams and live life like a queen ” at that time too i never had this mindset, i was steady that yes i have to study do my college and do a job and i shall be married off to a humble man and have to do the chores and work along to make ends meet, and no other thoughts seduced me or contradicted to those i had ever since school.
But now as iv seen so much in life i wonder that is it necessary to carry out similar thoughts its no where written that god and society favors the beauty history is full of characters and heroes who aren’t beautiful yet remembered for their works and not for their looks. And In times today with all bot ox and jabs beauty is just a few lacks away deal to get. But am not inclined to do so nor i think many of the people who an afford or who cannot are bold enough to live life as they are born not what they should have with.
Which is why we have so much of beauty promoting ads, lighter skin tone, tanned skin, fairer skin, wrinkled, age less, spotless, needless to say that its eating out the natural way we used to live and for the ones who wish to live the natural way it makes life hard for them, a simple challenge here, can one go without even using a moisturizer to work or lip gloss or kohl, no i guess not, and what about not getting your eyebrows or upper lips done, i guess you cannot live like this or i should say look like this. But if i had the chance,i would never take so much of pain to groom myself for the way society wants me to be , when i can live with those.
But again we are all part of the society and not following its norms as a girl would mean so much of chaos for myself and those concerned with me. Kind of names they would give you, or even term you as psychologically imbalanced person, wow so much for simplicity , but then who dares because i want to live in this society only i dont want to deviate or break free, the only thing i want and desire and many like me that they can at least have freedom, when dealing with their outer appearance and their own body for that matter.
It will take a long time for people to accept a de glam life because a life full of glam and shimmer is what attracts to a lot and we often envy those people in hold of it, well its quite natural to have those feelings if you are born human and not a fish, and we slowly separate ourselves with such people be it in sh cool , college or work as if those people are beyond our reach , but then only if you talk to them , you may find some turn out to be just like their looks and some completely opposite are shallow.
But then we cannot judge everyone based on their looks and its even not fair to say that all average looking people are kind enough , everyone has an innate individuality and personality that reflects be it behind the makeup or after a face wash. Its needed that we get in touch with the real glam heart of people and its also needed that the society weighs conscious over glee and glam.
A de glamorous life is not that easy to live, but its full of good things to look into and get inspired with.
Today how often do you hear” YES” whenever you or anyone asked for some help or some work ?
It may puzzle you to think about the above statement, but seriously isn’t the word “YES” heard very rarely today in office or among your friends and family .
Its true indeed , a lot of thoughts flood our mind soon after someone asks us for a favor to resolve an issue, to take up some task, to volunteer for some work, to assist in some activity, do an extra piece of work, or just anything, we are full of fear and feel so heavy, burdened , stressed and fixed in a dilemma what to say a Yes or a No..
What happens then is that we simply say a No where we could have chosen a YES to do or perform some thing that could have had new learning opportunities for us or even bring us goodness by doing something for the others and make us feel great.
But In any case…
“The word ‘NO’ has some FUN element attached to it That ‘YES’ can never have“, which is why we so much love to use it and so often, really for instance one of my acquaintances has this massive potential of saying No to everything that comes to her minute after minute and it surprises me so much, as how can anyone be so lazy or i should say so mean
I asked her,
“why do you say No to everything yaar at least you can do one thing in a day” ?
To this she conveniently replies..
” dear, No saves me from extra work and why should i say yes when i can say No easily and no one has a problem with it”
Hmmmm smart enough but is it right to say No so frequently and where does it take you or this world , Imagine where you approach anyone for help and all you get to hear is NO, NO, NO from everyone . Isn’t it a sorry state a world full of inhuman’s .
To unlearn this word No, think about why are we so afraid of this Yes because its full of responsibility and needs you to go that extra mile for someone always. the Best way to counter is to focus on the brighter side of Yes,that carries a lot shining traits it like responsibility, credibility,sensibility, trust, respect, virtue, wisdom, maturity, decency, humility and many more, whereas,
‘No’, carries lightness, freedom, carefree, relaxed, unburdened etc feelings.
But there is more to this No, where many of us who blindly or even bluntly reject a plea or request by someone who approaches us for something with some work or for help we tend to make excuse or just flatly say the word, and feel relaxed that we are smart or made a great escape, but actually we lost a good opportunity to create a mark in the lives of others and mostly ourselves, where it could contribute to our own growth and many a times sincere people may even feel guilty for not having helped someone and may lose on a goodnight sleep.
In view of the above many should think, about saying YES as a positive influence in their life that entails the provision of nurturing so many more positive traits . But things dont end here in religiously following this Yes, there’s a way to practice it and apply it for the betterment of self and others as well.
Thereby some discouraging factors that follow Yes are there, where one may be subjected to unscrupulous tasks being loaded over them at workplaces or among the peers,and no doubt its true because our society makes indiscriminate use of those who say Yes and label them as fools forever, who does all the work and can be given more as he/she may never use the word NO.
The bottom line here is to make Best use of Yes so that it doesn’t discourage or depreciates your value or identity in any way and helps in facilitating your positive personality growth and inner peace that contributes to your spiritual, physical and mental well being.
If you find that a particular situation of person is indefinitely using your abilities and taking advantage of your approvals then you can pleasantly say No, it doesn’t harm you or the other as they will get their work done if not from you than any other one for sure.
The Yes word is not something to feel pressurized about rather its a very Humane and magnanimous way of presenting yourself among others that makes you unique and stand out . So just Click on the Button Yes and reset your life to the old self you were always like a kid who embraces Yes every time be it dark or sunshine.
The good thing about doing a task today is that you dont have to do it anymore again nor mentally or physically, that many people often have to do when they procrastinate a task.
Why does procrastination happens :
Physical or mental lethargy, fear of failure, lack of priority, having much time for closing a task, lack of willingness to do, monotony of the task, more work .etc.
Whichever reason is responsible for the delay is not important but what is important here is if this Procrastination delays realizing goals and thereby delays Success and it can necessarily happen at work place or at home .
At workplace procrastination can create a very unwanted environment that may create your bad impression among your colleagues , managers and bosses who can take away good projects away from you even if you are a good employee, doing work late and making terrible excuses can rob you off your time, potentials, happiness and success.
It creates a series of troubles for you for instance getting up late 10 minutes , skipping breakfast, reaching late for work, scolding form the boss, bad mood degrades efficiency and interrupts work and leads to further delay in completion of assigned tasks.
This goes on and on the only way to stop it is :
1 Physical and Mental Fitness
2 Finish the task as and when assigned.
3 Think it as the right time to attend to it and no time is good to get over with it other than NOW.
4 Be lively and punctual .
5 Make notes in the diary or even keep reminders in phone .
6 If you have a task at hand keep time and date deadlines for their completion .
Remember nothing is best than to have a feeling of getting over with the work NOW than later it increases your efficiency, creates a good impression, gets you success and keep harmony with boss, managers, colleagues and even with your spouse for a healthy and beautiful relationship.
Today I read about “being cooperating or collaborating which one influences success” an article by Danial burrus .
“You cooperate because you have to; you collaborate because you want to”
I agree that people in different situations of life or workplace pick any one of the above and apply it as and when required.
Cooperation in some ways is subjected to want and compliance merely to be part of the team or work one has to perform , whereas Collaboration is a completely positive term where the person is willingly being part of the situation or work even if there is presence or absence of some interest of the individual involved in those.
Success majorly depends upon the amount of interaction and commitment of the individuals involved in the task who facilitate group cohesiveness, where they collaborate to achieve a certain goal.
For instance there can be a workplace where a particular assignment is given to two different teams where one team cooperates and another collaborates to complete it.
Cooperation : the team lacks motivation, its more about the willingness of the members involved, social loafing becomes prominent , no clear vision and goal orientation, lack of involvement and devoid of challenges.
Collaboration : its positive in outlook, motivation among members, team spirit, goal oriented, focus on goal and completion of assignment.
Collaboration is a more social and positive term than cooperation where individual love to willingly work for the benefit of others or themselves in a serious manner where the goal is not deprived of motivation or carelessness.