Tag Archives: women

De Glam Life

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Life is great for some people who are born with disarming looks along a life of riches which makes things easier for them to achieve. And for those born into average looks and lead an average life things dont come easy to them , if it does its attributed to either destiny or luck, but if they dont appear even after hard work and struggles it all comes down to even below average where another sorts of problems collect around them.

I suppose that there are a plenty of people on this planet who lead a very plain life and often at some point of time would have desired if things could be reversed like the way they were born, or if they had paid attention to their looks earlier or if their parents were keen enough to care for them even more like the parents of the other kids do for them. we all must have felt this way certainly because we are born unhappy since the day we are born we begin life by crying and end it up crying for things we could never have or be born with. 

The major portions of life for women alt east runs around their looks , how attractive they are or how others think about them, the way they should dress but cannot, the makeup they can put on but cannot afford to have, and even to wear and be like those divas on the ramp but they cannot because they have got other better things to do that are safe and acceptable rather than walking the ramp. 

These thoughts that beauty gets all are not mine they are coming from generations that a person gets everything in life if they are attractive and have an eye catching personality .And since generations these thoughts  have hardened so much that they cannot be broken down maybe stereotypical of me to think but i cannot refrain ignoring it when i have vicarious experiences to share that yes beauty outnumbers brain.

Talking of my school days, i recollect how the most beautiful girls of  my class quoted ” After school i will marry the man of my dreams and live life like a queen ” at that time too i never had this mindset, i was steady that yes i have to study do my college and do a job and i shall be married off to a humble man and have to do the chores and work along to make ends meet, and no other thoughts seduced me or contradicted to those i had ever since school. 

But now as iv seen so much in life i wonder that is it necessary to carry out similar thoughts its no where written that god and society favors the beauty history is full of characters and heroes who aren’t beautiful yet remembered for their works and not for their looks. And In times today with all bot ox and jabs beauty is just a few lacks away deal to get. But am not inclined to do so nor i think many of the people who an afford or who cannot are bold enough to live life as they are born not what they should have with. 

Which is why we have so much of beauty promoting ads, lighter skin tone, tanned skin, fairer skin, wrinkled,  age less, spotless, needless to say that its eating out the natural way we used to live and for the ones who wish to live the natural way it makes life hard for them, a simple challenge here,  can one go without even using a moisturizer to work or lip gloss or kohl, no i guess not, and what about not getting your eyebrows or upper lips done, i guess you cannot live like this or i should say look like this. But if i had the chance,i would never take so much of  pain to groom myself for the way society wants me to be , when i can live with those. 

But again we are all part of the society and not following its norms as a girl would mean so much of chaos for myself and those concerned with me. Kind of names they would give you, or even term you as psychologically imbalanced person, wow so much for simplicity , but then who dares because i want to live in this society only i dont want to deviate or break free, the only thing i want and desire and many like me that they can at least have freedom, when dealing with their outer appearance and their own body for that matter. 

It will take a long time for people to accept a de glam life because a life full of glam and shimmer is what attracts to a lot and we often envy those people in hold of it, well its quite natural to have those feelings if you are born human and not a fish, and we slowly separate ourselves with such people be it in sh cool , college or work as if those people are beyond our reach , but then only if you talk to them , you may find some turn out to be just like their looks and some completely opposite are shallow.

But then we cannot judge everyone based on their looks and its even not fair to say that all average looking people are kind enough , everyone has an innate individuality and personality that reflects be it behind the makeup or after a face wash. Its needed that we get in touch with the real glam heart of people and its also needed that the society weighs conscious over glee and glam. 

A de glamorous life is not that easy to live, but  its full of good things to look into and get inspired with. 

 

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My Darling 498 a

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अकेला क्या दुखी कम था “मैं”
जो जुड़ी मुझसे एक और “मैं”Image
“मैं” कहाँ अब बन गया था “तू”
और इस “तू – मैं” में मिला ना कोई क्लू

जिसके ख्वाब देखे सपने सजाये
वो मेरे दर पर दरोगा साहब को ले आए
कभी जो कहती थी “डार्लिंग” प्यार से
अब बदला लिवा रही है वो मार-धाड़ से

दुखी, बेमन, बोझिल अंतरमन को संभाले
रिश्तों का उलझता ताना बना सुलझाते
थक चूका हूँ मैं अब इस बर्बादी से 
तौबा करता हूँ मैं इस शादी से

बनाकर लाया था जिसको मेरे घर की लक्ष्मी
अब डालेगी डकैती बनकर कुलक्ष्मी
कहाँ छुटकर जाऊं इस कोर्ट कचहरी से
लाइलाज बन चुकी हैं बीमारी अब 498 a 

कोई समझाए मेरी प्राणप्रिय धरमपत्नी को
क्यों मेरे प्राणों की प्यासी बन चुकी हैं वो 

सोचता हूँ क्यूँ कहा था कभी मैंने उसे ऐसा
की डार्लिंग क्यूँ खर्चती हो इतना सारा पैसा ?
मेरी आमंदनी  है अट्ठन्नी और तुम खर्चती हो रुपईय्या 
इतना कहने पर ही तुमने डूबा दी मेरे अरमानो की नईय्या
 

जो ना किया सितम उसपर तो मिली सज़ा फिर क्यूँ
“आप”,” तुम” कहते करते कब बन गया ” मैं” से “तू” 

मुझे फूलों की माला पहनाने वाली, मेरे जीवन का प्यार
बना गयी 498a ,dv, crpc 125 अब मेरे जीवन का सार

क्यूँ जानकार सब बनती हैं अनजान
मुझसे ज्यादा तुझे है सच्चे इंसान की पहचान 

Krishna : Man for Every Yuga

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Krishna and Radha with gopiyas.

 

I was reading this book by Osho, that my fiance mailed me to read, where he talks about the significance teaching and philosophy given by Krishna.

So far i have read only 8 pages and am thankful to him for the great book.

Osho is a magnanimous being , he cannot be touched , talked or thought about casually just like Buddha, Krishna and Shiva for his knowledge and enlightened ness.  He speaks about Krishna is a man meant to be understood and his philosophies and lessons should be understood and applied by all. But its unfortunate on our part that we can never understand and realize that Krishna is man for all seasons and yuga’s , and we till today haven not been able to understand the true meaning and essence of his teaching in the Geeta and Bhagwad.

Osho has been true in saying that we only differentiate and adapt to him at our own level where Krishna in Bhagwad is dancing and singing whereas Krishna in Geeta is talking about Dharma, Karma and significance of war. If we believe in good ness and gaiety in life we will bound to agree with the Krishna in Bhagwad and understand him at our own level again overlooking his totality where he dances and sing s with women and conveys that Body and soul is one and sex can only lead to celibacy not the suppression of any feelings of the soul or body.

on the other hand In geeta he aptly conveys how the war of Mahabharata , and restoration of dharma is the karma and must be followed as it is. He talks about violence and non violence as two sides of the same coin and that thinking about violence is when someone thinks he can kill its materialistic, and the one who thinks he will practice non violence and would not kill anyone is also a materialist . And one thing is common among the violence and non violence believers that “someone can be killed” therefore Krishna rejects both and accepts the immortality of the soul where life and death is materialistic and nothing lives or dies.

This thought above is very spiritual but an eye opener to believe in Krishna and the lesson he wishes to give  us , though we are least ready to understand or accept, forget adopting to it. Spirituality accepts wholeness of life it accepts everything be it love, sex, war , devotion or any other thing.

It is relevant because this age is age of lies, suppression, competition, repression, struggle and suffering and a never ending fight , which is why today the study of Krishna’s teachings become more important as he shows us the way to play our part in this life leela (play )where its only a role we must understand and that we must overcome and stand above this role to conquer these inimical forces that influence us.

The best part osho explains about Krishna is the topic that we are deprived, devoid, suppressed, and asked to repress all out lives which is sex. He has rightly explored the theme and made it understandable for us to know that we must be familiar and make friends with sex not look at it as our enemy, the logic behind this is that we cannot understand our enemies but we can understand our friends very well and have scope to change them, this is true and can be explored further because many of us suppress our urges and carnal instincts, the more we put them back the more we think about them. the more we think the more we are distracted , and again its a wide spread theme to think of it a sin and thus thought in the same way since we were adolescents .

Krishna is the only one who has believed and accepted life in its totality , he never became a saint, lived in celibacy , he was god in true sense , a complete whole, a complete taker of life as it is. he never turned away from the miseries or suffering wars or violence good or evil , he took it as it was and gave the most unimaginable ways to conquer over them and live through them .

And as we are..

we are born to be attracted by the things which are meant not to be disclosed , the opposite always attracts, but we fear so much about the other side that we always wish to cling to all the good things and do away with the bad , dark, evil, pain, etc. But we fail to realize that even this is part of our existence and we need to look into it deeply, and when we come across or face them we feel dilemma, pain, conflict and misery because we are not ready to give up on the pleasantness and goodness of life.

This is what Krishna wants us to do, to believe in whole life to accept the opposites and lead a true life not in fragments or portions where we accept one thing and deny the other rather we must learn to accept the other part as well.

Krishna has a remarkable brilliance and great relevance for every generation of any yuga. we must explore him greatly through his teachings and decipher the inner meaning rather than the outer words only through Bhaghwad or the geeta.

Evil is not Compromised !

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There’s nothing like Humans on this earth..

Perhaps you must be perplexed to read the above lines, but let me bring fore the reality that may strike you to come to terms with the same conclusion as the one i keep . There’s no dearth of men and women on this earth who know how to exist peacefully and cohabit mutually with dignity for each other with respect to each others gender and the role concerned to it. The role encompasses with both entering into rightful and dignified institutions of society where they can thrive happily and prosper.

Now if the society has sanctioned some institution where one can derive all the pleasures of their opposite gender then there’s no room left for them to loot or plunder for the same and that too customizing the women in specific here, as a flesh to satiate their up roaring, unrestrained sexual urges that are not channelized.

In light of the some shameful incidents that happened with girls in Guwahati (assam) where a mob of inhuman and devilish people relished the helplessness of the girl , biting upon her flesh and pulling her hair and even thrashing her for not complying to let them take her clothes off her skin for their game. I completely abhor this shameful event and at the same time am bound to recall how a women was kicked and thrashed by the Egyptian police and again a mob of people in gurgaon who had gone wild over finding another helpless victim mercilessly robbed her off her dignity.

It all depict that how cruel or how outrageous the mentality of humans are degrading, am of no doubt that the same men must have been born from their mothers womb only and not from their fathers ass, if at all they don’t have any regard for the women whom they link or perceive merely as a moving sex object. Its really hard to change such perceptions as they only stem from places where they are brought up in such conditions, where literally women are given no regard, they act as they have seen all their life, but then their mother’s too did not sow the seeds of dignity or respect for themselves and became the very enemies of their own kind. so this had to happen its a vicious circle that goes on.

she did not had any respect form her husband then how could the other women have it from her son.

The roots need to be strengthened , the ground should be made fertile where the seeds of values should be sown and grown to be harvested one day where even the girls of such monsters can breathe free . Though somehow it angers and frustrates, so much that i wish to curse and burst out at them, but here for me i just cannot curse these men that they should realize the pain of these women upon whom they inflict such brutality and insanity as i cannot torment my own kind and i shall never curse the womenfolk linked to them for they they did not teach them ethics or humanity .

Lest these men should go through the same trauma themselves that they impose upon other, for nothing in the world is attributed as best, to equal the amount of pain or happiness unless you yourself have been in the same shoes to realize to bear and to feel the same in order to relieve oneself of guilt or enjoy the good of happiness.

Here i remember the story of daaku angulimaal who was transformed by gautam buddha even after committing so many evils …

Angulimala: A Story of the Power of Compassion

Angulimaal was transformed by Buddha who enlightened him.

 There was once the son of a Brahmin (the highest “priestly” caste in India) in the court of King Pasenadi of Kosala, whose name was Ahimsaka. He was sent to Taxila for his studies. Ahimsaka was intelligent and obedient to this teacher; therefore he was liked by both the teacher and his wife. This made the other pupils jealous of him. So they went to the teacher and falsely accused Ahimsaka of having an immoral relationship with the teacher’s wife. At first, he did not believe them, but after hearing it a number of times, he thought it was true and vowed to have revenge on Ahimsaka. He thought that to kill him would reflect badly on him. His rage prompted him to suggest the unthinkable to the young and innocent Ahimsaka. He told his pupil to kill a thousand human beings and to bring the right thumb of each as payment for teaching him. Of course the youngster would not even think of such a thing, so he was banished from the teacher’s house and returned to his parents.

When his father learned why Ahimsaka had been expelled, he became furious with his son, and would hear no reason. On that very day, with the rain pouring down, he ordered Ahimsaka to leave the house. Ahimsaka went to his mother and asked her advice, but she could not go against the will of her husband. Next Ahimsaka went to the house of his betrothed (in accord with the ancient custom in India calling for betrothal of children long before their actual marriage), but when the family learned why Ahimsaka had been turned out of school, they drove him off. The shame, anger, fear, and despair of Ahimsaka drove him out of his mind. His suffering mind could only recollect the teacher’s order: to collect 1,000 human thumbs. And so he started killing, and as he killed, the thumbs he collected were hung on a tree, but as they were destroyed by crows and vultures, he later wore a garland of the fingers to keep track of the number.

Because of this he came to be known as Angulimala (finger garland) and became the terror of the countryside. The king himself heard about the exploits of Angulimala, and he decided to capture him. When Mantani, Ahimsaka’s mother, heard about the king’s intention, she went to the forest in a desperate bid to save her son. By this time, the chain around the neck of Angulimala had 999 fingers in it, just one finger short of 1,000.

The Buddha; learned of the mother’s attempt to dissuade her son from, and reflected that if he did not intervene, Angulimala, who was on the lookout for the last person to make up the 1,000, would see his mother and might kill her. In that case, he would have to suffer an even longer period for his evil kamma. Out of compassion, the Buddha left for the forest.

Angulimala, after many sleepless days and nights, was very tired and near exhaustion. At the same time, he was very anxious to kill the last person to make up his full quota of 1,000 and so complete his task. He made up his mind to kill the first person he met. As he looked down from his mountain perch, he saw a woman on the road below. He wanted to fulfil his vow to complete the 1,000 thumbs, but as he approached, he saw it was his mother. At the same time, the Buddha was approaching, and Angulimala had just enough presence of mind to decide to kill the wandering monk instead of his mother. He set out after the Blessed One with his knife raised. But the Buddha kept moving ahead of him. Angulimala just could not catch up with him. Finally, he cried out, “O Bhikkhu, stop, stop!” And the Enlightened One replied, “I have stopped. It is you who have not stopped.” Angulimala did not catch the significance of these words, so he asked, “O bhikkhu! Why do you say that you have stopped while I have not?”

The Buddha replied, “I say that I have stopped because I have given up killing all beings. I have given up ill-treating all beings, and have established myself in universal love, patience, and knowledge through reflection. But you have not given up killing or ill treating others and you are not yet established in universal love and patience. Hence, you are the one who has not stopped.” On hearing these words Angulimala was recalled to reality, and thought, these are the words of a wise man. This monk is so very wise and so very brave that he must be the leader of the monks. Indeed, he must be the Enlightened One himself! He must have come here specially to make me see the light. So thinking, he threw away his weapons and asked the Blessed One to admit to the Order of the bhikkhus, which the Buddha did.

When the king and his men came to capture Angulimala, they found him at the monastery of the Buddha. Finding that Angulimala had given up his evil ways and become a bhikkhu, the king and his men agreed to leave him alone. During his stay at the monastery, Angulimala ardently practiced meditation.

Angulimala had no peace of mind because even in his solitary meditation he used to recall memories of his past and the pathetic cries of his unfortunate victims. As a result of his evil kamma, while seeking alms in the streets he would become a target of stray stones and sticks and he would return to the Jetavana monastery with broken head and blood flowing, cut and bruised, to be reminded by the Buddha: “My son Angulimala. You have done away with evil. Have patience. This is the effect of the evil deeds you have committed in the existence. Your evil kamma would have made you suffer through innumerable existences had I not met you.”

One morning while going on an almsround in Savatthi, Angulimala heard someone crying out in pain. When he came to know that a pregnant lady was having labor pains and facing difficulty to deliver the child, he reflected, all worldly beings are subject to suffering. Moved by compassion, he reported the suffering of this poor woman to the Buddha who advised him to recite the following words of truth, which later came to be known as Angulimala Paritta. Going to the presence of the suffering woman, he sat on a seat separated from her by a screen, and uttered these words:

Sister, since the day I became an arahat

I have not consciously destroyed

The life of any living beings.

By this truth, may you be well

And may your unborn child be well.

Instantly the woman delivered her child with ease. Both the mother and chid were well and healthy. Even today many resort to this paritta. Angulimala liked living in solitude and in seclusion. Later he passed away peacefully. As an arahant, he attained parinibbana.

Other bhikkhus asked the Buddha where Angulimala was reborn, and when the Blessed One replied, my son Angulimala has attained parinibbana, they could hardly believe it. So they asked whether it was possible that such a man who had in fact killed so many people could have attained parinibbana. To this question, the Buddha replied, “Bhikkhus, Angulimala had done much evil because he did not have good friends. But later, he hound good friends and with their help and good advice he became steadfast and mindful in practicing the dhamma and meditation. Thus, his evil deeds have been overwhelmed by good kamma and his mind has been completely rid of all defilements.”

The Buddha said of Angulimala

“Whose evil deed is obscured by good,

he illumines this world like the

moon freed from a cloud.”

The power of love and compassion are stronger than any evil, and are absolute conditions for awakening.

 I wish these unmindful and ignorant devils do realize someday what deeds they have committed and as the cycle would go on,so shall they suffer in next births to come if not this one…everything shall be distributed equally for the deeds we do be it good or bad , if you have done one bad you shall be given bad in return as Shiva says u cannot compensate it for even a 1000 good deeds you do.But you can lessen the effect of it somehow by doing Good karma.

Beyond Gender : Whole is more than sum of its Parts

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https://i1.wp.com/www.sivavision.org/image/siva_%20copy.png

Single Entity GAURISHANKAR.

Since Childhood I’ve heard these words but could never unravel the facts or forces that goes around them. I’ve been quite naive in understanding the true meaning or the essentials about, what embodies the concept of feminism or masculinity or gender as a whole in true sense.

Though i frequently used to use such words in my essays and writings ,depicting and relating  to empowerment of the womenfolk at one hand and how brave and courageous are men in history.

But I was never able to gauge the real essence of these words, even after having almost vicarious experiences when the very significance of my being a women was in question and how i was being afflicted by the masculine beings, in all this i never realized how should i explore or should i explore the feminist in me ?, to get myself upright against the men.

The search began in the troubled waters, and still remained unidentified for some time,in the mean time i was actually away from all the problems and deplorable conditions, and that too without any feminism that came to rescue me.

I actually didn’t needed any gender role to help me nor any special femininity, i discovered that being a gender is being average but being a human is being the best to solve life and its issues in an objective and Superior way.

Being in control of one’s gender or sex controls the problem solving skills and limits our conscience for taking decisions in an unbiased manner is what i discovered eventually.

Its been only when i was able to think conscientiously about the other gender in specific and its nothing i keep against my own but its a way to differentiate between what is wrong and what is right, not who is wrong or who is right . it is completely off the base for any gender .

I’ve come across many textbooks during school time that our societal setup is governed by patriarchal or matriarchal structure in different, different communities or castes, influenced and maligned by favoritism and subjectivity, with regard to issues and concerns, dealing with gender roles and responsibilities. In the same way the Family, Relationships be it boyfriend and girlfriend, men and women, among friends, sisters and brothers, others, have this prominence of Domination by any of the gender controlling and occupying the major portions of decisions and role- responsibilities.

Here such setups and gender variance have influenced the peace and harmony of many relationships and almost created a divide among the two, due to inadvertent behavior .

The focus which i imply for this is to think yourself as  “NON GENDER”, i know this may sound weird and obnoxious but here may be, the key to bridge every difference and resolve issues when it comes to relationships and love.

 But we can try to achieve and attain good positive outcomes if we connect with the human side of our being and not the gender.what happens here i shall explain..

” when you have a fight say with your spouse , you may think about the verbal or non verbal behavior that affected you , and how one could demean your status , you being a man or women , got hit on your ego, your thoughts, your decisions, your ideas, your actions, here everything relates to your gender “first”- you may cry being a women, or man, or even burst out in anger being a man, or a women, the two cordially relates to the first gender being talked about , the second one if displayed such behavior would in normal settings be disapproved of ” .

So the thin line here is to Accept the behavior without the gender in concern, moreover its for both to consider the actions and deeds of others and self in a non gender specific way , and find more reasonable and logical occurrences for issues.

I cannot refrain myself from relating an Ideal relationship of Lord Shiva and Devi Parvati who are above any gender and complete forms of each other..

Shiva is called the Ardhnarishwar, that is half man 

and Devi parvati as Ardhangini .half women.

They are Incomplete without each other, their form is complete only when the two meet and join to form into one supreme part as  Gauri Shankar.

Every relationship should aim for such togetherness idealizing Shiv and Parvati who are above any gender norms and form

to sum up i can recall another very great statement that has affected me for long…                     that “the whole is more than the sum of its parts”. as stated by gestalts applies aptly here.