Tag Archives: suffering

Living Silently

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Living Silently

Ask no questions about life
it goes on is just the answer
No stones are unturned here
just walk silently unnoticed

there’s plenty of suffering around
Walk last! Don’t walk past
Unable and able to attend
where to start with ‘full’ heart

Leave it, no need to pretend
Just live as much u can
This moment is a blessing
everything happens on its own

All Troubles are outside
What is inside is your own
stop seeing and just being
Life is what is unknown

Shilpi Chauhan

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Life begins to end the day you desire to do something before you die.

Why is it necessary to run after things, to run after name fame or money, when you can live happily without doing anything. The day such feelings develop to leave something behind , so that other’s can remember you, is the beginning of the day you forget to live life and you just become part of the mad race that no one sees has to end up in ashes.

Happiness

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Our Mind (psyche )is very naughty, it plays with us, it wanders , it goes from here to there, from home to office, from office to places Imageand keeps wandering , jumping here, there and everywhere. It is never still, it was never meant to be still,it was always like that, going around and coming around like a swing , it has its high’s and low’s .

It is never stable it is always in motion and so we are left in motion, moving with the flow of the mind, that carries our body with it, wherever it takes we go along, unknowing what it has to offer but we still go because after all its our mind that tells us and that controls us. we cannot do anything nor we can question what it wants or why it wants something, a thing even it sees that passes by like a new phone , a new car, or a new dress, it screams in our mind that YOU MUST HAVE IT , Why Not Own it !

We think we want it, so we begin to desire it, and finally it is our mind that tells us, we require it, but actually we don’t, we never realize its irrelevance until we have it, after a long struggle of pain tension, longing and forgoing almost every small and big happiness, for this particular thing,because we were waiting to be happy only the day we have it, that we always thought could make us really happy.

And so we begin to neglect everything in pursuit of this material that we never wanted since the beginning, but our mind said something, about its need, so we went after it, and all these days, months and years we wasted in getting that thing. And now we are used to the art of getting after things, living only for the big moments, small things no longer or never actually made us happy, even attempts by people around us to make happy shall go in vain, which is why people no longer matter to us. 

None of the relations make us happy, because we see in them our own reflection , as if they are also after something , something much greater than my own thing, as soon as we think this they become our competitors and thus they no longer remain close to us, they are our enemies , they are now part of the great competition. 

Slowly and Slowly life becomes more void, because now the mind craves even more, once you hold the thing you always wanted since years you move onto next , the value of this thing becomes Zero from the time you seize it . just think about this, for a moment, it doesn’t even matter now, how long can you enjoy it after all.

Again your mind sees a thing and starts wandering no longer the thing you got makes you happy , you remain more sad and more anxious and more worrying about your next goals, your next agenda’s or next thing you want to own, that you think would be ultimate source of happiness. 

It hardly happens because since the beginning you were not happy and the moment you saw that thing made you more unhappy and the pursuit , the journey made you even more unhappy inside, and now you are conditioned to remain unhappy for long, now nothing can be done to make you happy , even this thing you just bought after so many years of hard work fails to make you happy. 

You were always anxious, wandering and roaming around here and there , your mind was never still. had it been so it would just have been like the observer who sees the most awesome st of things in life but is hardly affected by them, nothing changes inside him, not even a nerve or a blink of eye . He remains the same goes on doing what he is doing, and is least moved by what he sees around. 

And the one who sees around but never gets involved with it, in his mind is the most happiest soul ever.

Written By 

SHILPI CHAUHAN SINHA

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Since we have tried all the worldly pleasure’s since birth, it becomes difficult to live without them, if at all we had been brought up without those experiences, we would never knew any less or anything like suffering.

Since we have t…

Marriage : An Everlasting Intention

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Traditional Indian Wedding Image

What is the first thing that comes to your mind on hearing this word Marriage ?

Probably joy, elation, feelings of attachment to someone who would be there every time and everyday with you and is meant just for you, with the one you’ll rise every morning and go to bed every night, with whom you can share everything about your world and that is in your world which become our world .

Again the above thoughts are restricted for the first timers, i hope i make myself clear when i say this because it aches me to write an explanation for what i actually mean by first timers , or the fresh ones. Actually I don’t want to get acknowledged each day or to remind even you that its another one or am the second timer and i have no such thoughts as i expressed above.

The definition or the contributing thoughts that surround this word marriage for me now have changed immensely and its nothing like sharing – caring or great honeymoons or candle light dinners anymore .

I feel that the actual realization that has happened to me now should happen to everyone, the first or the second timers that is marriage is not only about the display of what  ‘I’ feel so that the other spouse whose ‘I” is less than mine should fulfill all the desires i have leaving himself or herself behind where gradually with time ‘I’ grows and monotony sets in for the other and conflicts happen where the other feels left out as his/her desires remain unfulfilled and even unexplored. therefore there should be continuous effort to explore the ‘we’ desires more and give space to fulfill the ‘I’ desires alone all by yourself unburdening the other for their fulfillment.

I think marriage is more about giving solutions rather than understanding the problems of the relationship, we often develop our reactions on pre assumptions, stereotypical thoughts about the other as we always think that “I KNOW him or her so its nothing different today”, emotional assessment of the situation how it affected me , ego outbursts, etc. when there’s some issue or conflict we are tangled in the problem so much that we only understand the problem and forget about the solution or the other things to weigh and value ‘my’ emotional hurt and my suffering much more than the problem, leaving no space for the solution . So its actually creating more problem , one must remain conscious to find solutions of the problem rather accumulating more of it.

I feel that when you are in a relationship or married it is important to always be aware of emotions that lead to major disasters, because it always happens that “I’ was hurt, my feelings were hurt, i wasn’t cared for, i was left alone, i was cheated, i was ignored all these feelings are natural and may or may not be caused by the other, so its always important to inquire that is it actually caused by the other,or  if its exaggerated, or how intense are these feelings, do you encourage them more. one must ascertain all these factors before breaking out from home or breaking the relationship.

marriage is about two people coming together to share their lives so its always important for the two of them to keep others at bay even their own family, friends and relatives when things concerned with their relationship are at stake, for that reason no decisions should be left to either of family members as it should done by the mutual agreement of the two and the couple must see that they are not intensely guided or lead by their families so much that it leads to conflicts and disagreement among them, after all its them who are in the middle of everything and its their life and nothing should affect or come in between their relationship to destroy their harmony.So a married couple should know who should they follow and lead by and remain conscious in their decisions and life roles.

The intention and thinking matters as much as the responsibilities and freedom in the marriage, where everyone has some prerequisite information that there are certain things which need to be followed in a marriage, some responsibilities and that there has to be equal space and freedom too even when all things are ‘meant’ to be shared, these are well common notions that everyone knows, but what I stress more upon, is the ‘Intention’ that goes into marriage when issues arise, in case of “what ifs” like the other doesn’t fulfill the responsibilities  or the other requires more space and time alone , gives priority to his/her career or goals more than ‘me’ or ‘my  home’ or ‘my family’, in  such cases disputes happen, so its important to eliminate these disputes by disclosing your intentions to continue with the marriage and relation no matter what happens , to reassure the other about your thinking and that these issues are very temporary and the factors harming the other are merely pretending to do so because the actual mindset with which you are into this marriage is only the truth that the other must know rest is fake and sublime.

A couple in the marriage or relationship must stand with each other in every problem or distress and must support each other with everything, for marriage is not only joy-some togetherness rather its assimilation and accommodation of  both the worlds that come in form of two human beings to come together to be identified as one whole .

Does it matter where Positivism come’s from ?

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We talk about being positive, having positive attitude and positive approach towards life.

Today Positivism has filled every corner of our life its there at the work or in our home, where the need and demand is growing at a very fast pace just as the technology is making our live’s vulnerable and stressful. The global life of an average person is being run over by stress , confusion, crises, tension, unfulfilled needs, desires complexities, problems, pain, suffering, and delusions that has become more or less an identity if that very person.

  For Instance , If we have a person who is every day ranting about his promotion at the work place, this person’s identity becomes  different unlike his skill or name he might be called as Mr. promotion or a real example about a women ( here  one of my friend ) who loves to splurge and go after brand shopping, it were no problem if she kept all that to herself rather pulling us who cannot spend so much and looks down upon us, for this i actually gave her a name i.e Ms Price Tag. 

There is nothing to ridicule about such people by assigning them names and they happen to be everywhere among our friends,  family, relatives, acquaintances etc who they are or how they relate to us is not the problem but the problem is that their goodness hides behind these over expressive attitudes and becomes extinct in wake of such behavior which is so frequent and predictable that none can expect anything else other than what they actually do everyday.

And Since this becomes the routine, it gets much harder to change or break such attitudes that stem from problems itself, because every kind of problematic attitude has origin that was first limited to that person and gradually spreads around as attitudinal problem that was formed to overcome the problem but happens to become more complicated. Such people are then stereotyped and named and the same notions are passed on to others even the new members who come in to their contact.

Everything that was positive or could be positive or explored positive fades out and even deteriorates with time. It is very important to prick the attitudinal balloon right away at the right time before it inflates and spreads and start acquiring space. The task is pretty hard and gigantic but still some can lead to make efforts in the right direction with right attitude. It really pains me a lot when the person is prejudged for his/her behavior on the basis of observation or the information provided by others around them.

So it becomes relevant in view of the above consequences to bring change among the people in question who may not readily agree to accept the harshness they carry in their attitude or that something they do affects the mental setup of the other people around them.  And thus it becomes next to impossible that anyone can bring change to them, for if we begin to try they might never agree to it and will investigate about the source of positivity that is coming from me or you for that matter.

But we cannot cease to look for change and bring out the goodness in them even if they abhor us for doing so. Because even we are not complete perfectionist or having really really good behavior, we have our fair share of mistakes and problems that we carry along and so it becomes difficult.

Its only if we can create a balance and complete positive outlook about ourselves first even if we are ignored, deprived, or  hated for some period but then if we keep gauging and encouraging the other person’s goodness to bring it out more in conversations and actions in front of the other people as well and get it all reinforced from others too, we can very well change the problematic attitude.

 

Beyond Love and Everything

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With the grace and blessings of Lord Shiva, am happy to share some great news with everyone,that is par happiness and beyond my expectations . With so much strains and struggles finally my love is freed of his struggles and miseries. now we can happily be with each other after years of separation, wait, and tears that mingled with hope and prayers that one day it will change and end for there has to be good. 

A beautiful light after all these years of darkness and gloom we finally embrace each other and our lives to live together. though we are still left with little hurdles like he needs to get a job but that isn’t coming our way to get together now.

And am sure Shiv baba will take care of everything .

In all these times i never gave up on Shiv ji, i accepted the bad phase along the good and thanked him still for keeping me and him alive in all these traumatic situations that went through us and meant nothing but to break us and break our spirits .

I still prayed, fasted, hoped and believed in Shiv baba and my prayers did reach him with all my heart, and it happened that he answered them in such a beautiful way i could never ever imagine.

Am more than happy today and hopeful to see the coming days for there is balance that has to happen in life of everyone. 

Along this i wish that everyone out there with their struggles and pain should not give up on hope there will be good there will be balance , you just need to wait and keep your faith alive .

Continue with your prayers and rituals never give up on them in bad times, for there is God and he is listening its just that there’s a long queue before you and for sure your turn will come. Just hang on. 

My Darling 498 a

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अकेला क्या दुखी कम था “मैं”
जो जुड़ी मुझसे एक और “मैं”Image
“मैं” कहाँ अब बन गया था “तू”
और इस “तू – मैं” में मिला ना कोई क्लू

जिसके ख्वाब देखे सपने सजाये
वो मेरे दर पर दरोगा साहब को ले आए
कभी जो कहती थी “डार्लिंग” प्यार से
अब बदला लिवा रही है वो मार-धाड़ से

दुखी, बेमन, बोझिल अंतरमन को संभाले
रिश्तों का उलझता ताना बना सुलझाते
थक चूका हूँ मैं अब इस बर्बादी से 
तौबा करता हूँ मैं इस शादी से

बनाकर लाया था जिसको मेरे घर की लक्ष्मी
अब डालेगी डकैती बनकर कुलक्ष्मी
कहाँ छुटकर जाऊं इस कोर्ट कचहरी से
लाइलाज बन चुकी हैं बीमारी अब 498 a 

कोई समझाए मेरी प्राणप्रिय धरमपत्नी को
क्यों मेरे प्राणों की प्यासी बन चुकी हैं वो 

सोचता हूँ क्यूँ कहा था कभी मैंने उसे ऐसा
की डार्लिंग क्यूँ खर्चती हो इतना सारा पैसा ?
मेरी आमंदनी  है अट्ठन्नी और तुम खर्चती हो रुपईय्या 
इतना कहने पर ही तुमने डूबा दी मेरे अरमानो की नईय्या
 

जो ना किया सितम उसपर तो मिली सज़ा फिर क्यूँ
“आप”,” तुम” कहते करते कब बन गया ” मैं” से “तू” 

मुझे फूलों की माला पहनाने वाली, मेरे जीवन का प्यार
बना गयी 498a ,dv, crpc 125 अब मेरे जीवन का सार

क्यूँ जानकार सब बनती हैं अनजान
मुझसे ज्यादा तुझे है सच्चे इंसान की पहचान 

Life is to Live it, Not Leave it !

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This is the best song i remember every time i feel that i should run away from life and become an ascetic , thinking that it would end all my problems and fears .
And Every time i watch this and understand the meaning of the lyrics i regain hold of life and thank god to give me this wonderful blessing that i can enjoy making my own choices .

Sansar Se Bhage Phirte Ho Lyrics and Translation

sa.nsaar se bhaage phirte ho, bhagvaan ko tum kyaa paaoge?
As you flee from society, how will you find God?

is lok ko apnaa na sake, us lok me.n bhii pachataaoge.
You didn’t consider this world as your own, and you will repent it in that world.

ye paap hai.n kyaa, ye punya hai.n kyaa? riito.n par dharm kii mohare hai.n
What is sin and what is virtue? Religion uses such traditions as mere facades.

har yug me.n badalte dharmo.n ko kaise aadarsh banaaoge?
How will you idealize the changing religions of every age?

yeh bhog bhii ek tapsaya hai, tum tyaag ke maare kyaa jaano?
This suffering is also a form of penance; what would you know, you renunciation-stricken fool?

apaman rachetaa kaa hogaa, rachnaa ko agar Thukraaoge.
It will be an insult to the Creator himself, if you reject the act of creation.

ham kahte hai.n yah jag apnaa hai, tum kahte ho jhuuTha sapna hai.
I claim that this world is mine; however, you consider it a false dream.

ham janam bitaa kar jaaye.nge, tum janam gavaa kar jaaoge.
I will live life to the fullest, but you will waste yours in vain.

sa.nsaar se bhaage phirte ho, bhagvaan ko tum kyaa paaoge?
As you flee from society, how will you find God?

Life is Greater Than Problems .

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A few years back i always thought about getting married and how beautiful the life will be like every girl would have thought , to go places,  to see the world , to hold hands, to eat good food , to wear the most fashionable clothes on honeymoon, to love and hug and get love and hugs 24 /7 and forever and ever. I too had such beautiful and exciting thoughts about getting married.

And i did get married and all wasn’t beautiful as it looked like in my case, because i had this picture in my mind that did not fitted well when i saw the other couples and heard their stories of romance and love making and how beautiful it was all in the arranged setup . I still managed for a good time but had to separate soon as things went ugly to awry and so it had to happen because after giving your extreme self to the other, there come’s a time when you have to realize that the heart that beats inside your body is the sound of your soul that wishes to live .

One has to believe that this life is not your or mine or anyone else’s for whom you need to sacrifice not even for your own miseries you dont have to die unless your time comes till that moment you should live with all its struggles, sufferings , good , bad, pain, sorrow, happiness, love etc.  I too had my moments where i thought everything is shattered, am in ruins and other stuff about thoughts to die and live no longer, and the best part i was encouraged even more to succumb to my thoughts passively by some people. But i never took the extreme i always prolonged that period of pain further than to fall apart.

I’ve learned and matured in my thoughts and to this day my problems and life struggles haven’t ended, and i have experimented with these feelings that how the other person lives well and am still in troubles, i have thought a way out for this too, i think i haven’t seen this person’s complete life what is there in his/her life , how bad or good his time will be or how he she would suffer or die i do not know, so would i still be willing to compare or desire his/her life or even exchange it . No ,not for once i hold my karma and my consequences as my own and i would never wish to change it with anyone else’s .

Believe you me even today after all that i still struggle and there’s so much in my life that needs to be well placed. After separation i lived quite peacefully and met a good person on a legal portal,  he too is separated and still struggling a lot without a job and money, and its been like this since the last 2 years and more, we have been with each other in rough times and holding each other, where we have least hopes for our marriage or a comfortable life in future, we shall have to do a lot to make ends meet. But we are not afraid to do that even because we will be together is what we care for.

Had it been like this, that only we two were concerned forever it could be easier but then, the sad part is the mix of two families our well settled wealthy relatives and friends who lead life of luxuries always keep asking about when, where,  how, why and what of our life’s, thank god i have got so much strength and courage to put a really great shape and face in front of them and even for him, we dont open up easily. I keep assuring  everyone about our future and we shall live good and he will get a job soon he is trying hard.

We have never given up on hope , to live a positive life with good thoughts , we struggle and cherish this period of struggle because we know we have met each other that was the best thing that could happen to us, we cry one hour but feel OK the other hour. i dont know where this enormous strength has come to us that we have suffered so much, that we are toughened by these circumstances and we just hope and wait for our days to change and let the sun shine for us .

Whenever am in trouble and have depression like feelings i always think that at least am alive to correct it and life is much greater than the problems itself, so why t worry as this period will go away , maybe it becomes a long period end-up in years but still it will end someday, it cannot remain forever. And believe its encouraging to think that you live good to change things , think of other things where you are killed by some mad person or die in a freak accident , its best that god has given you this chance and you are alive and able to transform the bad to good.

No wonder life is full of phases of good and bad but its best to endure in that time it can last for years and years but you still need to put up a smiling face before the society and friends so that they cannot know what you face, as only a percent of people will understand you and you never know which percent is that. So its best to keep your life and struggles to yourself it gives you courage strength and wisdom to continue and grow in life.