Tag Archives: spouse

Sweet Nothingness

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Now I am a complete homemaker, doing all the household chores and actually loving it, we have relocated to this new place and am liking it alot , it seems,  if just two people live under a roof there are so many things to explore and care for rather living with many people and just caring for self.

I like this life and completely in love with the amount of free time and space, its like a dream come true , for what i had always been waiting for , this is what i wanted all the time when i was busy all day doing my job , studies and home tasks. But now its a whole lot of freedom , with no studies no job and no framework for work .

Life is moving really nice and i can feel and sense the time that never flies rather its slow and steady and seems to me that its just what one requires in life that he she doesn’t need to run with time rather wait for the time to chime.

Time that flows slow is simply sweet and wonderful because it has nothing to do with materialism, moreover it has the qualities of disintegrating you into different forms where one can explore and discover a lot about life in its true forms , the real essence of it and true meaning that revolves around things that we forget to peep into.

Simple encouraging acts of small work or no work and just enjoying the environment in the present mood itself is quite enchanting experience because you are so much free , you have all the time to do something and to do nothing , this explorations of nothingness is beyond comparison where you can be just with you, there’s no running for being someone else like in your office shoes or  have makeup or to read some news.

Its just you and the time you have all the time even that you forget about time.

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Marriage : An Everlasting Intention

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Traditional Indian Wedding Image

What is the first thing that comes to your mind on hearing this word Marriage ?

Probably joy, elation, feelings of attachment to someone who would be there every time and everyday with you and is meant just for you, with the one you’ll rise every morning and go to bed every night, with whom you can share everything about your world and that is in your world which become our world .

Again the above thoughts are restricted for the first timers, i hope i make myself clear when i say this because it aches me to write an explanation for what i actually mean by first timers , or the fresh ones. Actually I don’t want to get acknowledged each day or to remind even you that its another one or am the second timer and i have no such thoughts as i expressed above.

The definition or the contributing thoughts that surround this word marriage for me now have changed immensely and its nothing like sharing – caring or great honeymoons or candle light dinners anymore .

I feel that the actual realization that has happened to me now should happen to everyone, the first or the second timers that is marriage is not only about the display of what  ‘I’ feel so that the other spouse whose ‘I” is less than mine should fulfill all the desires i have leaving himself or herself behind where gradually with time ‘I’ grows and monotony sets in for the other and conflicts happen where the other feels left out as his/her desires remain unfulfilled and even unexplored. therefore there should be continuous effort to explore the ‘we’ desires more and give space to fulfill the ‘I’ desires alone all by yourself unburdening the other for their fulfillment.

I think marriage is more about giving solutions rather than understanding the problems of the relationship, we often develop our reactions on pre assumptions, stereotypical thoughts about the other as we always think that “I KNOW him or her so its nothing different today”, emotional assessment of the situation how it affected me , ego outbursts, etc. when there’s some issue or conflict we are tangled in the problem so much that we only understand the problem and forget about the solution or the other things to weigh and value ‘my’ emotional hurt and my suffering much more than the problem, leaving no space for the solution . So its actually creating more problem , one must remain conscious to find solutions of the problem rather accumulating more of it.

I feel that when you are in a relationship or married it is important to always be aware of emotions that lead to major disasters, because it always happens that “I’ was hurt, my feelings were hurt, i wasn’t cared for, i was left alone, i was cheated, i was ignored all these feelings are natural and may or may not be caused by the other, so its always important to inquire that is it actually caused by the other,or  if its exaggerated, or how intense are these feelings, do you encourage them more. one must ascertain all these factors before breaking out from home or breaking the relationship.

marriage is about two people coming together to share their lives so its always important for the two of them to keep others at bay even their own family, friends and relatives when things concerned with their relationship are at stake, for that reason no decisions should be left to either of family members as it should done by the mutual agreement of the two and the couple must see that they are not intensely guided or lead by their families so much that it leads to conflicts and disagreement among them, after all its them who are in the middle of everything and its their life and nothing should affect or come in between their relationship to destroy their harmony.So a married couple should know who should they follow and lead by and remain conscious in their decisions and life roles.

The intention and thinking matters as much as the responsibilities and freedom in the marriage, where everyone has some prerequisite information that there are certain things which need to be followed in a marriage, some responsibilities and that there has to be equal space and freedom too even when all things are ‘meant’ to be shared, these are well common notions that everyone knows, but what I stress more upon, is the ‘Intention’ that goes into marriage when issues arise, in case of “what ifs” like the other doesn’t fulfill the responsibilities  or the other requires more space and time alone , gives priority to his/her career or goals more than ‘me’ or ‘my  home’ or ‘my family’, in  such cases disputes happen, so its important to eliminate these disputes by disclosing your intentions to continue with the marriage and relation no matter what happens , to reassure the other about your thinking and that these issues are very temporary and the factors harming the other are merely pretending to do so because the actual mindset with which you are into this marriage is only the truth that the other must know rest is fake and sublime.

A couple in the marriage or relationship must stand with each other in every problem or distress and must support each other with everything, for marriage is not only joy-some togetherness rather its assimilation and accommodation of  both the worlds that come in form of two human beings to come together to be identified as one whole .

Procrastination is the Thief of Fortune !

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The good thing about doing a task today is that you dont have to do it anymore again nor mentally or physically, that many people often have to do when they procrastinate a task.

Why does procrastination happens :

Physical or mental lethargy, fear of failure, lack of priority, having much time for closing a task, lack of willingness to do, monotony of the task, more work .etc.

Whichever reason is responsible for the delay is not important but what is important here is if this Procrastination delays realizing goals and thereby delays Success and it can necessarily happen at work place or at home .

At workplace procrastination can create a very unwanted environment that may create your bad impression among your colleagues , managers and bosses who can take away good projects away from you even if you are a good employee, doing work late and making terrible excuses can rob you off your time, potentials, happiness and success. 

It creates a series of troubles for you for instance getting up late 10 minutes , skipping breakfast, reaching late for work, scolding form the boss, bad mood degrades efficiency and interrupts work and leads to further delay in completion of assigned tasks.

This goes on and on the only way to stop it is :

1 Physical and Mental Fitness

2 Finish the task as and when assigned.

3 Think it as the right time to attend to it and no time is good to get over with it other than NOW.

4 Be lively and punctual .

5 Make notes in the diary or even keep reminders in phone .

6 If you have a task at hand keep time and date deadlines for their completion .

Remember nothing is best than to have a feeling of getting over with the work NOW than later it increases your efficiency, creates a good impression, gets you success and keep harmony with boss, managers, colleagues and even with your spouse for a healthy and beautiful relationship.