Tag Archives: shiva

I Love You SHIVJI !!!

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Its day three since i fell down on the footpath upon an open slab it was about 3 & 1/2 feet wide, and 1 1/2 feet deep, into which i fell .

But Thankfully am all intact in one piece and didn’t broke any of my bones or teeth . Really many Thanks to God, as i couldn’t acknowledge the severity of the accident until my hubby told me about it, like how great and grievous the impact could have been. since the upper slab was all concrete,he said i could have had my jaw replaced if i had even touched a bit of it on my face or it could be more like a fracture in skull or legs or hands.

It could have been anywhere since falling into a wide pit,where there is concrete inside and outside can prove fatal, am blessed and i pray every time i recollect incidents of that day.

Am left and spared with a few cuts here and there on my arm and legs, but a very bad pelvic bone injury that is all blue and black till date .

Anyhow its all over and i cherish my life even more and thank god that he saved me .

Lost ‘My’ Material Identity

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So i was more or less devastated, tensed, felt raw and lost some few hours back ..

Last Thursday me along with my hubby and in laws went to puri in orissa for Jagannath darshan ( Lord Krishna). Since I believed that after marriage and before honeymoon i should go and seek blessings of Maa Vaishno devi at jammu but since my hubby wasn’t able to get enough leave from his office, then everyone decided to go Jagannath as it was not too far and its an overnight journey by train from kolkata.

So we went ahead knowing that it was the time of Rath Yatra and lord Jagannath visits his maternal aunt for few days in a chariot and comes back into the temple where till that time his replica is placed.

Puri Beach :awesome weather and water

Puri Beach :awesome weather and water

So Puri this time is a hot spot for tourists ( mostly Hindus from other states) who flock there to see lord Jagannath and enjoy the Puri Beach, which is an epic beautiful place with all the sea water gushing to and fro and sea waves making sounds.

Here i Must confess that am not a whole hearted bhakt of Lord Krishna , though my hubby loves reading his geeta and currently he is reading Osho’s Geeta Darshan and from his readings he speaks to me of his many teachings and life skills which are very enlightening and realistic. I love listening the bhagwat katha of Krishna and his various Lila’s (maya) but unable to replace the love i have for shiva to him. So still not seriously like i would do when i am to see shiva i went jagannath puri , thinking of shiva as the jagannath unknowingly.

During the  morning we were not able to see  lord Jagannath, there being a huge crowd of  people jostling , fighting and pushing others just to climb on the chariot of lord jagannath, and even the other two chariots of subhadra ( Krishna’s sister ) and Balaram ( Krishna ‘s elder brother) that had equal share of people fighting to reach atop.  As if this ordeal was less in grace there were many pandits who snatched away the hands of the people who thought could shell out loads of cash to see the lord , they clutch the hand so tightly swearing by god that they will make you see and do the puja of lord jagnannth even in this endless sea of people standing and pushing in the invisible ques where the pandits were not spared the policemen s lathi ( wooden stick ).

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All this time i was being pushed and twitched in the crowd but thanks to my hubby he never left my ‘body’ alone And between all this time i kept comforting my mother in law, as she was unable to bear the heat, sun and reckless people who shoved her and pulled her spectacles out of her sight, i kept soothing her saying its just for once and if not possible we will go back to the hotel. Finally we were not able to make it and upon a pandits advice we decided to come back in afternoon as he said that is the time when there are less people and we can do the puja and darshan.

So before the afternoon we bathed in the rain and sea water on the beach and went back for darshan, it seemed the crowd was less but then all of a sudden the people in the que grew more and more there were not one or two or three lines rather no lines at all it was again a crowd  that grew more and more around us and we began to feel the heat. Again the same pushing , pulling begun and this time it was more humiliating since the the police personnel’s who were trying to control the crowds actually hit the people anywhere they felt right in a fit of rage, actually they were also helpless controlling so many people was a tough task. so we still managed and struggled for about 2 hours or more just to see lord jagannath once ,but to no avail we went back to the tea stalls nearby for some water and refreshments.

View of Lord jagannath from a stall taken just before the loss.

View of Lord jagannath from a stall taken just before the loss.

As soon i opened my handbag for keeping my mobile phone after taking pictures of lord jagannath, i was shocked to see my handbag  ripped open , cut from behind and my brown wallet was gone, it had all the identity proofs like voter Id card , driving license, pan card, debit card with good cash amount , my gold chain and engagement ring and even my hubby’s engagement ring, that i had kept safely in it before going to the beach as i feared losing them while bathing because water softens the hand and rings may lose their grip.

I was stupefied and helpless for some time maybe an hour or so, but inside i was thinking that i had this intuition before, that i was about to lose my brown wallet in this the trip and as if i was wanting it to go. I don’t know why but i never put my little earrings in that wallet i put them into the small chains of my handbag, and it was that day i did not do so.

To narrate what i felt at that moment is something very bold and complicated because there was sense of loss but there was actually not that much of pain , i had to forgo almost things worth 2 lac and more and its a huge amount for me really huge, but why i did not feel so so sad as to have almost a week full of guilt, pain anger, cursing the thief , or just going berserk.

To this day even, I haven’t spoken of any ill for the thief though i just imagine the look on his face when he would see how fool i was to keep all that for him and how he would dance with joy and happiness on getting such a good deal, even though its not as if his whole life would change, but its more than enough to keep him high on spirits. anyhow we registered the FIR and had to devalue the value of the gold and cash that was stolen since we had to immediately procure the receipt of those ornaments in order to get the FIR lodged, but who had all that ,at that point of time, so we just thought of getting the FIR so as to apply for identity cards as soon as possible and more because we were not in our home town and for me i was even more far from my mother’s home.

Ever since this incident I haven’t told my mom about it, and thank god she is not aware of my blog nor the Internet. She took so much pains to make that gold ring for my hubby by giving her own gold ornaments of her marriage for making that ring. I feel doomed at some point of time for being so careless and guilty for losing her hard earned money which she gave for us to keep as we still need a lot of  financial support from both the families and along with this my savings had gone too that i had been doing for so long time .

Now i wish i had bought that Suit or that watch for my hubby and spent the

money at least from my savings , Anyhow if it had to go it had to go no matter what it was, the time that took it away and of course lord jagannath ( Krishna) he is complete mystique a psychologist and the most cleverest and intelligent of all the gods we have, whatever he does is for the good as i know of him.

And now its over i have to pursue for getting all this material identity again which will keep me busy for days to come and its test of my belief and spiritual consciousness and i cannot give all credits to Kanha ( krishna the jagannath)  for enlightening me on this i would give it more to Shiva the Supreme , peaceful, simple and an ascetic with ashes who let’s me be nor happy nor sad in every state. Even after losing all the materialistic things and material identity, i still believe in Shiva, and today its my first Sawan Somvaar Fast as the Fasting Sawan begins today on Poornima, from this day to next 4 Mondays will be somvaar sawan vrat.

And with this firm belief in my lord shiva i know ill be able to break this time as well into pieces and move out of the clutches of loss, which is actually a material loss that was never mine as it would have never gone along with me when i will die. It would only how something i gathered helped the other and thank the lord for he has given me enough potential to gather and give always.

Beyond Gender : Whole is more than sum of its Parts

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Single Entity GAURISHANKAR.

Since Childhood I’ve heard these words but could never unravel the facts or forces that goes around them. I’ve been quite naive in understanding the true meaning or the essentials about, what embodies the concept of feminism or masculinity or gender as a whole in true sense.

Though i frequently used to use such words in my essays and writings ,depicting and relating  to empowerment of the womenfolk at one hand and how brave and courageous are men in history.

But I was never able to gauge the real essence of these words, even after having almost vicarious experiences when the very significance of my being a women was in question and how i was being afflicted by the masculine beings, in all this i never realized how should i explore or should i explore the feminist in me ?, to get myself upright against the men.

The search began in the troubled waters, and still remained unidentified for some time,in the mean time i was actually away from all the problems and deplorable conditions, and that too without any feminism that came to rescue me.

I actually didn’t needed any gender role to help me nor any special femininity, i discovered that being a gender is being average but being a human is being the best to solve life and its issues in an objective and Superior way.

Being in control of one’s gender or sex controls the problem solving skills and limits our conscience for taking decisions in an unbiased manner is what i discovered eventually.

Its been only when i was able to think conscientiously about the other gender in specific and its nothing i keep against my own but its a way to differentiate between what is wrong and what is right, not who is wrong or who is right . it is completely off the base for any gender .

I’ve come across many textbooks during school time that our societal setup is governed by patriarchal or matriarchal structure in different, different communities or castes, influenced and maligned by favoritism and subjectivity, with regard to issues and concerns, dealing with gender roles and responsibilities. In the same way the Family, Relationships be it boyfriend and girlfriend, men and women, among friends, sisters and brothers, others, have this prominence of Domination by any of the gender controlling and occupying the major portions of decisions and role- responsibilities.

Here such setups and gender variance have influenced the peace and harmony of many relationships and almost created a divide among the two, due to inadvertent behavior .

The focus which i imply for this is to think yourself as  “NON GENDER”, i know this may sound weird and obnoxious but here may be, the key to bridge every difference and resolve issues when it comes to relationships and love.

 But we can try to achieve and attain good positive outcomes if we connect with the human side of our being and not the gender.what happens here i shall explain..

” when you have a fight say with your spouse , you may think about the verbal or non verbal behavior that affected you , and how one could demean your status , you being a man or women , got hit on your ego, your thoughts, your decisions, your ideas, your actions, here everything relates to your gender “first”- you may cry being a women, or man, or even burst out in anger being a man, or a women, the two cordially relates to the first gender being talked about , the second one if displayed such behavior would in normal settings be disapproved of ” .

So the thin line here is to Accept the behavior without the gender in concern, moreover its for both to consider the actions and deeds of others and self in a non gender specific way , and find more reasonable and logical occurrences for issues.

I cannot refrain myself from relating an Ideal relationship of Lord Shiva and Devi Parvati who are above any gender and complete forms of each other..

Shiva is called the Ardhnarishwar, that is half man 

and Devi parvati as Ardhangini .half women.

They are Incomplete without each other, their form is complete only when the two meet and join to form into one supreme part as  Gauri Shankar.

Every relationship should aim for such togetherness idealizing Shiv and Parvati who are above any gender norms and form

to sum up i can recall another very great statement that has affected me for long…                     that “the whole is more than the sum of its parts”. as stated by gestalts applies aptly here.

Resist that Urge to Gratify : Practice Self Control

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Power of Self Control where nothing Distracts, Influences or calls Attention of the Enlightened Gautam Buddha.

Just look at this wonderful Picture of the Great Gautam Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree deeply meditating, where nothing almost nothing in the world has the power enough to distract him, be it the beauty or the beast. There’s nothing that can disturb his peace with his innermost self , break his meditation and destroy his Conscious state of  Enlightenment.

No doubt its almost unbelievable to achieve that state of Consciousness as its very tough and even harder in times today where there is complete struggle to earn your bread and butter after which there is a mad rush to fulfill those endless pursuits of success, praise, fame and most importantly good money. In a nutshell its the materialistic world that attracts us, as its said “Evil is attractive” that shifts us away from going after more simpler and spiritual life experiences.

Its unbelievable to attain such enlightenment and peace, but its not Impossible too , it would be a great achievement if we are able to attain even a fragment of this inner consciousness through Meditation that leads to Self control and an Enlightened soul within us.

The road to Self Control is through Regular practice of Meditation, that one can do every day for around 15 to 20 minutes, where you sit in a quiet place anywhere in your room, porch, garden, park or any place you feel you can be with your self alone for a brief time period. I can also understand that you may be running in the morning for office, work or house chores but you must find time for your own self , to heal your mind, body and spirit in a true sense .

And if you are able to make enough space for yourself in a day then the next ordeal is to filter your thoughts, where daily errands may be jumping, running, disturbing and buzzing in your mind where you think after this, i have to check mail, cook meal, dress the kids, go to the gym, complete office work and much much more, it doesn’t stop even if you close your eyes from the outside world and think now it is disconnected , its actually not, the thoughts are still there in you and this is where you have to work upon to get rid of those thoughts.

Just believe that this time is for you, your peace your connection with your self , you have this appointment specially with you and nothing or no one is as important today other than you.

When you Close these Eyes, it means you close yourself from this world outside and do not let thoughts related to world outside bother you, am not saying be thoughtless as the mind can never be without thoughts rather concentrate on your breathing , where you inhale and exhale, and observe your thoughts if any and one by one let go of them as they eat up your energy and willingness to concentrate . but in case if they still persist then chant a mantra like “Om Namah Shivaya” as the mantra saves you from other thoughts that deplete your energy.

OM NAMAH SHIVAYA

As you practice you may gradually see that the distracting thoughts will subside and only the breathing that you do or the mantra that you chant exists and all other things cease to happen, then is the state where you experience a complete feeling of bliss and contentment. Stay in that state for a while and experience the peace and relaxation of that mental state.

Though this is the first time for many, but it surely is powerful enough to bring you back again as you cherish peace and inner happiness of all day long. And it can be hard to sit first time,but dont force yourself , as you are doing this for yourself and not for others, so it doesn’t have to be a stressful activity. With daily practice and time you may give you will gain more power and will be able to sit for longer periods of time and even reflect more deeply in levels that you attain with time.

Meditation benefits you a  lot :

Meditation helps in overall relaxation of mind where your thoughts are pure , wise and free from negativity.  It also improves your will power where you refine your inner strengths and beliefs that helps you surround with positivism and goodness .

Meditation brings Self Control in a person’s life which enhances the skills to supervise and regulate the behavior where you may get a sense of power to curb immediate urge for gratification of needs, which may harm your well being or of the others around you, it helps in exercising restraint as an when needed in a well balanced way that does not affect you even when those needs are not fulfilled.

Self Control is a very important facet of life skills, one should practice, in order to maintain a healthy and peaceful life. we often get influenced by beauty, tastes, luxuries, riches, fame, money etc. and even provoked by situation or people who may insult, anger, discourage, or disturb us in some way or the other. In such events we may not be able to exercise Control over our emotions and express them which may be taken by others in a negative way.

And this is why its best to exercise self control that will only come through Meditation, it has a wide variety of positive effects in your life where you will improve your relationships, make better decisions, increase your concentration and attention span, think rationally and logically.

It will even help you to choose to be at peace, instead of being part of negative gossips, office politics, back bitching etc. It helps you to rise above all odds where you would not be disturbed by negative people or situations around you and always be Conscious of your self that will take you one level higher than others which is the ultimate goal of your existence and leads to enlightenment of the inner self.