Tag Archives: separation

True Love’s Journey

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Romantic_couple_love_(2)_large

 

 

 

                                                                                                                    

न चाहत जगाओ अब सोने दो मुझे   

इस चाहत में बिगड़े थे सपनो के किले  

ना फैसला किया न सोचा यह दिल                                                                                                                                 

बस बनाता गया मुझे उनके काबिल                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

 

 

जो टूटे इस कदर रिश्तों भरे वादे 

सपनो  में सजोये थे जो उनसे मिलके,
 
की हुए बेपरवाह वो  क्यूँ  इस तरह

ना मैं  समझी ना मेरी वफ़ा 
 
 
क्या इस दिन के लिए ही चाहा था मुझे
 
जो इश्वर की कसम भी न रोक पाई तुम्हे

यू बीच मझदार छोड़ मुझे जब चल दिए,
 
 हर लम्हा हर वक़्त तन्हाई के मैंने जिए 
 
 
जब भूल चुकी थी चाहत की परिभाषा,

तब आकर किसीने मेरा हाथ थामा

हैरान थी मैं यह सोच-सोच कर,

क्या मुस्कुरा पाऊँगी कभी इन आंसूओ को पोछकर 
 
 
पर यूँ  किसिंने आकर बदल दिए चाहतों के मायेंने,
 
जो न सपनो में थे ना कभी अनजाने 

कैसे सबकुछ मेरा तुमने बाँट लिया,

हर दुःख भरा लम्हा मेरा तुमने छाँट लिया 
 
 
तुमने चाह्त को मेरी दिया एक नया मोड़,

मेरे दुःख के हर लम्हे को दिया तुमने तोड़ 

सब दे दिया इस चाह्त से भी आगे बड़के, 

अपनी दुनिया में बसाने, इस समाज से लड़के
 
 
 
इस कश्ती में सवार न जो होते तुम, 

जाने किन तुफानो में हो जाती मैं गुम

इस भीड़ में आकर नज़रो से तुमने संभाला,

नज़रो से ही पहनाई मैंने मिलन की वरमाला 

 

 

जो तुम न होते, तो क्या मैं होती

और जो ना होते, तो क्या सपने संजोती,

बस इस चाह्त भरे ख्वाब को खुली आँखों से देखती,

सच हो सब सपने, मेरे दिल की  हर आवाज़ कहती 

 

 

कोई बंधन अब इतना नहीं मूल्यवान,

ना साथ रहने में ही लिखे सब समाधान

हर जनम का साथी वो सिर्फ मेरा है,

साथ उसके ही जीवन का हर सवेरा है

 

 

अब तो डर भी नहीं, ना बंदिश कोई, 

चाहतो के प्यार भरे साये में, मैं खोयी

जो तुम हो तो सब कुछ है पास,

जो तुम न हो ,तो न हो कोई आस

 

 

हर जीवन के पल में रहे साथ तुम्हारा,

इस नदी की लहरों को मिले किनारा 

येही बात और येही जज़्बात,

जोड़े हमे हमेशा एकसाथ

 

 

 मेरे प्यारे सनम मेरे भोले सनम 

तुमको देती मैं आज प्यार की कसम 

कि साथ निभाने का दे दो मुझे वचन 

इस जनम से अब हर जनम
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Life is Greater Than Problems .

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A few years back i always thought about getting married and how beautiful the life will be like every girl would have thought , to go places,  to see the world , to hold hands, to eat good food , to wear the most fashionable clothes on honeymoon, to love and hug and get love and hugs 24 /7 and forever and ever. I too had such beautiful and exciting thoughts about getting married.

And i did get married and all wasn’t beautiful as it looked like in my case, because i had this picture in my mind that did not fitted well when i saw the other couples and heard their stories of romance and love making and how beautiful it was all in the arranged setup . I still managed for a good time but had to separate soon as things went ugly to awry and so it had to happen because after giving your extreme self to the other, there come’s a time when you have to realize that the heart that beats inside your body is the sound of your soul that wishes to live .

One has to believe that this life is not your or mine or anyone else’s for whom you need to sacrifice not even for your own miseries you dont have to die unless your time comes till that moment you should live with all its struggles, sufferings , good , bad, pain, sorrow, happiness, love etc.  I too had my moments where i thought everything is shattered, am in ruins and other stuff about thoughts to die and live no longer, and the best part i was encouraged even more to succumb to my thoughts passively by some people. But i never took the extreme i always prolonged that period of pain further than to fall apart.

I’ve learned and matured in my thoughts and to this day my problems and life struggles haven’t ended, and i have experimented with these feelings that how the other person lives well and am still in troubles, i have thought a way out for this too, i think i haven’t seen this person’s complete life what is there in his/her life , how bad or good his time will be or how he she would suffer or die i do not know, so would i still be willing to compare or desire his/her life or even exchange it . No ,not for once i hold my karma and my consequences as my own and i would never wish to change it with anyone else’s .

Believe you me even today after all that i still struggle and there’s so much in my life that needs to be well placed. After separation i lived quite peacefully and met a good person on a legal portal,  he too is separated and still struggling a lot without a job and money, and its been like this since the last 2 years and more, we have been with each other in rough times and holding each other, where we have least hopes for our marriage or a comfortable life in future, we shall have to do a lot to make ends meet. But we are not afraid to do that even because we will be together is what we care for.

Had it been like this, that only we two were concerned forever it could be easier but then, the sad part is the mix of two families our well settled wealthy relatives and friends who lead life of luxuries always keep asking about when, where,  how, why and what of our life’s, thank god i have got so much strength and courage to put a really great shape and face in front of them and even for him, we dont open up easily. I keep assuring  everyone about our future and we shall live good and he will get a job soon he is trying hard.

We have never given up on hope , to live a positive life with good thoughts , we struggle and cherish this period of struggle because we know we have met each other that was the best thing that could happen to us, we cry one hour but feel OK the other hour. i dont know where this enormous strength has come to us that we have suffered so much, that we are toughened by these circumstances and we just hope and wait for our days to change and let the sun shine for us .

Whenever am in trouble and have depression like feelings i always think that at least am alive to correct it and life is much greater than the problems itself, so why t worry as this period will go away , maybe it becomes a long period end-up in years but still it will end someday, it cannot remain forever. And believe its encouraging to think that you live good to change things , think of other things where you are killed by some mad person or die in a freak accident , its best that god has given you this chance and you are alive and able to transform the bad to good.

No wonder life is full of phases of good and bad but its best to endure in that time it can last for years and years but you still need to put up a smiling face before the society and friends so that they cannot know what you face, as only a percent of people will understand you and you never know which percent is that. So its best to keep your life and struggles to yourself it gives you courage strength and wisdom to continue and grow in life.

 

Evil is not Compromised !

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There’s nothing like Humans on this earth..

Perhaps you must be perplexed to read the above lines, but let me bring fore the reality that may strike you to come to terms with the same conclusion as the one i keep . There’s no dearth of men and women on this earth who know how to exist peacefully and cohabit mutually with dignity for each other with respect to each others gender and the role concerned to it. The role encompasses with both entering into rightful and dignified institutions of society where they can thrive happily and prosper.

Now if the society has sanctioned some institution where one can derive all the pleasures of their opposite gender then there’s no room left for them to loot or plunder for the same and that too customizing the women in specific here, as a flesh to satiate their up roaring, unrestrained sexual urges that are not channelized.

In light of the some shameful incidents that happened with girls in Guwahati (assam) where a mob of inhuman and devilish people relished the helplessness of the girl , biting upon her flesh and pulling her hair and even thrashing her for not complying to let them take her clothes off her skin for their game. I completely abhor this shameful event and at the same time am bound to recall how a women was kicked and thrashed by the Egyptian police and again a mob of people in gurgaon who had gone wild over finding another helpless victim mercilessly robbed her off her dignity.

It all depict that how cruel or how outrageous the mentality of humans are degrading, am of no doubt that the same men must have been born from their mothers womb only and not from their fathers ass, if at all they don’t have any regard for the women whom they link or perceive merely as a moving sex object. Its really hard to change such perceptions as they only stem from places where they are brought up in such conditions, where literally women are given no regard, they act as they have seen all their life, but then their mother’s too did not sow the seeds of dignity or respect for themselves and became the very enemies of their own kind. so this had to happen its a vicious circle that goes on.

she did not had any respect form her husband then how could the other women have it from her son.

The roots need to be strengthened , the ground should be made fertile where the seeds of values should be sown and grown to be harvested one day where even the girls of such monsters can breathe free . Though somehow it angers and frustrates, so much that i wish to curse and burst out at them, but here for me i just cannot curse these men that they should realize the pain of these women upon whom they inflict such brutality and insanity as i cannot torment my own kind and i shall never curse the womenfolk linked to them for they they did not teach them ethics or humanity .

Lest these men should go through the same trauma themselves that they impose upon other, for nothing in the world is attributed as best, to equal the amount of pain or happiness unless you yourself have been in the same shoes to realize to bear and to feel the same in order to relieve oneself of guilt or enjoy the good of happiness.

Here i remember the story of daaku angulimaal who was transformed by gautam buddha even after committing so many evils …

Angulimala: A Story of the Power of Compassion

Angulimaal was transformed by Buddha who enlightened him.

 There was once the son of a Brahmin (the highest “priestly” caste in India) in the court of King Pasenadi of Kosala, whose name was Ahimsaka. He was sent to Taxila for his studies. Ahimsaka was intelligent and obedient to this teacher; therefore he was liked by both the teacher and his wife. This made the other pupils jealous of him. So they went to the teacher and falsely accused Ahimsaka of having an immoral relationship with the teacher’s wife. At first, he did not believe them, but after hearing it a number of times, he thought it was true and vowed to have revenge on Ahimsaka. He thought that to kill him would reflect badly on him. His rage prompted him to suggest the unthinkable to the young and innocent Ahimsaka. He told his pupil to kill a thousand human beings and to bring the right thumb of each as payment for teaching him. Of course the youngster would not even think of such a thing, so he was banished from the teacher’s house and returned to his parents.

When his father learned why Ahimsaka had been expelled, he became furious with his son, and would hear no reason. On that very day, with the rain pouring down, he ordered Ahimsaka to leave the house. Ahimsaka went to his mother and asked her advice, but she could not go against the will of her husband. Next Ahimsaka went to the house of his betrothed (in accord with the ancient custom in India calling for betrothal of children long before their actual marriage), but when the family learned why Ahimsaka had been turned out of school, they drove him off. The shame, anger, fear, and despair of Ahimsaka drove him out of his mind. His suffering mind could only recollect the teacher’s order: to collect 1,000 human thumbs. And so he started killing, and as he killed, the thumbs he collected were hung on a tree, but as they were destroyed by crows and vultures, he later wore a garland of the fingers to keep track of the number.

Because of this he came to be known as Angulimala (finger garland) and became the terror of the countryside. The king himself heard about the exploits of Angulimala, and he decided to capture him. When Mantani, Ahimsaka’s mother, heard about the king’s intention, she went to the forest in a desperate bid to save her son. By this time, the chain around the neck of Angulimala had 999 fingers in it, just one finger short of 1,000.

The Buddha; learned of the mother’s attempt to dissuade her son from, and reflected that if he did not intervene, Angulimala, who was on the lookout for the last person to make up the 1,000, would see his mother and might kill her. In that case, he would have to suffer an even longer period for his evil kamma. Out of compassion, the Buddha left for the forest.

Angulimala, after many sleepless days and nights, was very tired and near exhaustion. At the same time, he was very anxious to kill the last person to make up his full quota of 1,000 and so complete his task. He made up his mind to kill the first person he met. As he looked down from his mountain perch, he saw a woman on the road below. He wanted to fulfil his vow to complete the 1,000 thumbs, but as he approached, he saw it was his mother. At the same time, the Buddha was approaching, and Angulimala had just enough presence of mind to decide to kill the wandering monk instead of his mother. He set out after the Blessed One with his knife raised. But the Buddha kept moving ahead of him. Angulimala just could not catch up with him. Finally, he cried out, “O Bhikkhu, stop, stop!” And the Enlightened One replied, “I have stopped. It is you who have not stopped.” Angulimala did not catch the significance of these words, so he asked, “O bhikkhu! Why do you say that you have stopped while I have not?”

The Buddha replied, “I say that I have stopped because I have given up killing all beings. I have given up ill-treating all beings, and have established myself in universal love, patience, and knowledge through reflection. But you have not given up killing or ill treating others and you are not yet established in universal love and patience. Hence, you are the one who has not stopped.” On hearing these words Angulimala was recalled to reality, and thought, these are the words of a wise man. This monk is so very wise and so very brave that he must be the leader of the monks. Indeed, he must be the Enlightened One himself! He must have come here specially to make me see the light. So thinking, he threw away his weapons and asked the Blessed One to admit to the Order of the bhikkhus, which the Buddha did.

When the king and his men came to capture Angulimala, they found him at the monastery of the Buddha. Finding that Angulimala had given up his evil ways and become a bhikkhu, the king and his men agreed to leave him alone. During his stay at the monastery, Angulimala ardently practiced meditation.

Angulimala had no peace of mind because even in his solitary meditation he used to recall memories of his past and the pathetic cries of his unfortunate victims. As a result of his evil kamma, while seeking alms in the streets he would become a target of stray stones and sticks and he would return to the Jetavana monastery with broken head and blood flowing, cut and bruised, to be reminded by the Buddha: “My son Angulimala. You have done away with evil. Have patience. This is the effect of the evil deeds you have committed in the existence. Your evil kamma would have made you suffer through innumerable existences had I not met you.”

One morning while going on an almsround in Savatthi, Angulimala heard someone crying out in pain. When he came to know that a pregnant lady was having labor pains and facing difficulty to deliver the child, he reflected, all worldly beings are subject to suffering. Moved by compassion, he reported the suffering of this poor woman to the Buddha who advised him to recite the following words of truth, which later came to be known as Angulimala Paritta. Going to the presence of the suffering woman, he sat on a seat separated from her by a screen, and uttered these words:

Sister, since the day I became an arahat

I have not consciously destroyed

The life of any living beings.

By this truth, may you be well

And may your unborn child be well.

Instantly the woman delivered her child with ease. Both the mother and chid were well and healthy. Even today many resort to this paritta. Angulimala liked living in solitude and in seclusion. Later he passed away peacefully. As an arahant, he attained parinibbana.

Other bhikkhus asked the Buddha where Angulimala was reborn, and when the Blessed One replied, my son Angulimala has attained parinibbana, they could hardly believe it. So they asked whether it was possible that such a man who had in fact killed so many people could have attained parinibbana. To this question, the Buddha replied, “Bhikkhus, Angulimala had done much evil because he did not have good friends. But later, he hound good friends and with their help and good advice he became steadfast and mindful in practicing the dhamma and meditation. Thus, his evil deeds have been overwhelmed by good kamma and his mind has been completely rid of all defilements.”

The Buddha said of Angulimala

“Whose evil deed is obscured by good,

he illumines this world like the

moon freed from a cloud.”

The power of love and compassion are stronger than any evil, and are absolute conditions for awakening.

 I wish these unmindful and ignorant devils do realize someday what deeds they have committed and as the cycle would go on,so shall they suffer in next births to come if not this one…everything shall be distributed equally for the deeds we do be it good or bad , if you have done one bad you shall be given bad in return as Shiva says u cannot compensate it for even a 1000 good deeds you do.But you can lessen the effect of it somehow by doing Good karma.