Tag Archives: pain

Happiness

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Our Mind (psyche )is very naughty, it plays with us, it wanders , it goes from here to there, from home to office, from office to places Imageand keeps wandering , jumping here, there and everywhere. It is never still, it was never meant to be still,it was always like that, going around and coming around like a swing , it has its high’s and low’s .

It is never stable it is always in motion and so we are left in motion, moving with the flow of the mind, that carries our body with it, wherever it takes we go along, unknowing what it has to offer but we still go because after all its our mind that tells us and that controls us. we cannot do anything nor we can question what it wants or why it wants something, a thing even it sees that passes by like a new phone , a new car, or a new dress, it screams in our mind that YOU MUST HAVE IT , Why Not Own it !

We think we want it, so we begin to desire it, and finally it is our mind that tells us, we require it, but actually we don’t, we never realize its irrelevance until we have it, after a long struggle of pain tension, longing and forgoing almost every small and big happiness, for this particular thing,because we were waiting to be happy only the day we have it, that we always thought could make us really happy.

And so we begin to neglect everything in pursuit of this material that we never wanted since the beginning, but our mind said something, about its need, so we went after it, and all these days, months and years we wasted in getting that thing. And now we are used to the art of getting after things, living only for the big moments, small things no longer or never actually made us happy, even attempts by people around us to make happy shall go in vain, which is why people no longer matter to us. 

None of the relations make us happy, because we see in them our own reflection , as if they are also after something , something much greater than my own thing, as soon as we think this they become our competitors and thus they no longer remain close to us, they are our enemies , they are now part of the great competition. 

Slowly and Slowly life becomes more void, because now the mind craves even more, once you hold the thing you always wanted since years you move onto next , the value of this thing becomes Zero from the time you seize it . just think about this, for a moment, it doesn’t even matter now, how long can you enjoy it after all.

Again your mind sees a thing and starts wandering no longer the thing you got makes you happy , you remain more sad and more anxious and more worrying about your next goals, your next agenda’s or next thing you want to own, that you think would be ultimate source of happiness. 

It hardly happens because since the beginning you were not happy and the moment you saw that thing made you more unhappy and the pursuit , the journey made you even more unhappy inside, and now you are conditioned to remain unhappy for long, now nothing can be done to make you happy , even this thing you just bought after so many years of hard work fails to make you happy. 

You were always anxious, wandering and roaming around here and there , your mind was never still. had it been so it would just have been like the observer who sees the most awesome st of things in life but is hardly affected by them, nothing changes inside him, not even a nerve or a blink of eye . He remains the same goes on doing what he is doing, and is least moved by what he sees around. 

And the one who sees around but never gets involved with it, in his mind is the most happiest soul ever.

Written By 

SHILPI CHAUHAN SINHA

I Love You SHIVJI !!!

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Its day three since i fell down on the footpath upon an open slab it was about 3 & 1/2 feet wide, and 1 1/2 feet deep, into which i fell .

But Thankfully am all intact in one piece and didn’t broke any of my bones or teeth . Really many Thanks to God, as i couldn’t acknowledge the severity of the accident until my hubby told me about it, like how great and grievous the impact could have been. since the upper slab was all concrete,he said i could have had my jaw replaced if i had even touched a bit of it on my face or it could be more like a fracture in skull or legs or hands.

It could have been anywhere since falling into a wide pit,where there is concrete inside and outside can prove fatal, am blessed and i pray every time i recollect incidents of that day.

Am left and spared with a few cuts here and there on my arm and legs, but a very bad pelvic bone injury that is all blue and black till date .

Anyhow its all over and i cherish my life even more and thank god that he saved me .

Lost ‘My’ Material Identity

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So i was more or less devastated, tensed, felt raw and lost some few hours back ..

Last Thursday me along with my hubby and in laws went to puri in orissa for Jagannath darshan ( Lord Krishna). Since I believed that after marriage and before honeymoon i should go and seek blessings of Maa Vaishno devi at jammu but since my hubby wasn’t able to get enough leave from his office, then everyone decided to go Jagannath as it was not too far and its an overnight journey by train from kolkata.

So we went ahead knowing that it was the time of Rath Yatra and lord Jagannath visits his maternal aunt for few days in a chariot and comes back into the temple where till that time his replica is placed.

Puri Beach :awesome weather and water

Puri Beach :awesome weather and water

So Puri this time is a hot spot for tourists ( mostly Hindus from other states) who flock there to see lord Jagannath and enjoy the Puri Beach, which is an epic beautiful place with all the sea water gushing to and fro and sea waves making sounds.

Here i Must confess that am not a whole hearted bhakt of Lord Krishna , though my hubby loves reading his geeta and currently he is reading Osho’s Geeta Darshan and from his readings he speaks to me of his many teachings and life skills which are very enlightening and realistic. I love listening the bhagwat katha of Krishna and his various Lila’s (maya) but unable to replace the love i have for shiva to him. So still not seriously like i would do when i am to see shiva i went jagannath puri , thinking of shiva as the jagannath unknowingly.

During the  morning we were not able to see  lord Jagannath, there being a huge crowd of  people jostling , fighting and pushing others just to climb on the chariot of lord jagannath, and even the other two chariots of subhadra ( Krishna’s sister ) and Balaram ( Krishna ‘s elder brother) that had equal share of people fighting to reach atop.  As if this ordeal was less in grace there were many pandits who snatched away the hands of the people who thought could shell out loads of cash to see the lord , they clutch the hand so tightly swearing by god that they will make you see and do the puja of lord jagnannth even in this endless sea of people standing and pushing in the invisible ques where the pandits were not spared the policemen s lathi ( wooden stick ).

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All this time i was being pushed and twitched in the crowd but thanks to my hubby he never left my ‘body’ alone And between all this time i kept comforting my mother in law, as she was unable to bear the heat, sun and reckless people who shoved her and pulled her spectacles out of her sight, i kept soothing her saying its just for once and if not possible we will go back to the hotel. Finally we were not able to make it and upon a pandits advice we decided to come back in afternoon as he said that is the time when there are less people and we can do the puja and darshan.

So before the afternoon we bathed in the rain and sea water on the beach and went back for darshan, it seemed the crowd was less but then all of a sudden the people in the que grew more and more there were not one or two or three lines rather no lines at all it was again a crowd  that grew more and more around us and we began to feel the heat. Again the same pushing , pulling begun and this time it was more humiliating since the the police personnel’s who were trying to control the crowds actually hit the people anywhere they felt right in a fit of rage, actually they were also helpless controlling so many people was a tough task. so we still managed and struggled for about 2 hours or more just to see lord jagannath once ,but to no avail we went back to the tea stalls nearby for some water and refreshments.

View of Lord jagannath from a stall taken just before the loss.

View of Lord jagannath from a stall taken just before the loss.

As soon i opened my handbag for keeping my mobile phone after taking pictures of lord jagannath, i was shocked to see my handbag  ripped open , cut from behind and my brown wallet was gone, it had all the identity proofs like voter Id card , driving license, pan card, debit card with good cash amount , my gold chain and engagement ring and even my hubby’s engagement ring, that i had kept safely in it before going to the beach as i feared losing them while bathing because water softens the hand and rings may lose their grip.

I was stupefied and helpless for some time maybe an hour or so, but inside i was thinking that i had this intuition before, that i was about to lose my brown wallet in this the trip and as if i was wanting it to go. I don’t know why but i never put my little earrings in that wallet i put them into the small chains of my handbag, and it was that day i did not do so.

To narrate what i felt at that moment is something very bold and complicated because there was sense of loss but there was actually not that much of pain , i had to forgo almost things worth 2 lac and more and its a huge amount for me really huge, but why i did not feel so so sad as to have almost a week full of guilt, pain anger, cursing the thief , or just going berserk.

To this day even, I haven’t spoken of any ill for the thief though i just imagine the look on his face when he would see how fool i was to keep all that for him and how he would dance with joy and happiness on getting such a good deal, even though its not as if his whole life would change, but its more than enough to keep him high on spirits. anyhow we registered the FIR and had to devalue the value of the gold and cash that was stolen since we had to immediately procure the receipt of those ornaments in order to get the FIR lodged, but who had all that ,at that point of time, so we just thought of getting the FIR so as to apply for identity cards as soon as possible and more because we were not in our home town and for me i was even more far from my mother’s home.

Ever since this incident I haven’t told my mom about it, and thank god she is not aware of my blog nor the Internet. She took so much pains to make that gold ring for my hubby by giving her own gold ornaments of her marriage for making that ring. I feel doomed at some point of time for being so careless and guilty for losing her hard earned money which she gave for us to keep as we still need a lot of  financial support from both the families and along with this my savings had gone too that i had been doing for so long time .

Now i wish i had bought that Suit or that watch for my hubby and spent the

money at least from my savings , Anyhow if it had to go it had to go no matter what it was, the time that took it away and of course lord jagannath ( Krishna) he is complete mystique a psychologist and the most cleverest and intelligent of all the gods we have, whatever he does is for the good as i know of him.

And now its over i have to pursue for getting all this material identity again which will keep me busy for days to come and its test of my belief and spiritual consciousness and i cannot give all credits to Kanha ( krishna the jagannath)  for enlightening me on this i would give it more to Shiva the Supreme , peaceful, simple and an ascetic with ashes who let’s me be nor happy nor sad in every state. Even after losing all the materialistic things and material identity, i still believe in Shiva, and today its my first Sawan Somvaar Fast as the Fasting Sawan begins today on Poornima, from this day to next 4 Mondays will be somvaar sawan vrat.

And with this firm belief in my lord shiva i know ill be able to break this time as well into pieces and move out of the clutches of loss, which is actually a material loss that was never mine as it would have never gone along with me when i will die. It would only how something i gathered helped the other and thank the lord for he has given me enough potential to gather and give always.

Marriage : An Everlasting Intention

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Traditional Indian Wedding Image

What is the first thing that comes to your mind on hearing this word Marriage ?

Probably joy, elation, feelings of attachment to someone who would be there every time and everyday with you and is meant just for you, with the one you’ll rise every morning and go to bed every night, with whom you can share everything about your world and that is in your world which become our world .

Again the above thoughts are restricted for the first timers, i hope i make myself clear when i say this because it aches me to write an explanation for what i actually mean by first timers , or the fresh ones. Actually I don’t want to get acknowledged each day or to remind even you that its another one or am the second timer and i have no such thoughts as i expressed above.

The definition or the contributing thoughts that surround this word marriage for me now have changed immensely and its nothing like sharing – caring or great honeymoons or candle light dinners anymore .

I feel that the actual realization that has happened to me now should happen to everyone, the first or the second timers that is marriage is not only about the display of what  ‘I’ feel so that the other spouse whose ‘I” is less than mine should fulfill all the desires i have leaving himself or herself behind where gradually with time ‘I’ grows and monotony sets in for the other and conflicts happen where the other feels left out as his/her desires remain unfulfilled and even unexplored. therefore there should be continuous effort to explore the ‘we’ desires more and give space to fulfill the ‘I’ desires alone all by yourself unburdening the other for their fulfillment.

I think marriage is more about giving solutions rather than understanding the problems of the relationship, we often develop our reactions on pre assumptions, stereotypical thoughts about the other as we always think that “I KNOW him or her so its nothing different today”, emotional assessment of the situation how it affected me , ego outbursts, etc. when there’s some issue or conflict we are tangled in the problem so much that we only understand the problem and forget about the solution or the other things to weigh and value ‘my’ emotional hurt and my suffering much more than the problem, leaving no space for the solution . So its actually creating more problem , one must remain conscious to find solutions of the problem rather accumulating more of it.

I feel that when you are in a relationship or married it is important to always be aware of emotions that lead to major disasters, because it always happens that “I’ was hurt, my feelings were hurt, i wasn’t cared for, i was left alone, i was cheated, i was ignored all these feelings are natural and may or may not be caused by the other, so its always important to inquire that is it actually caused by the other,or  if its exaggerated, or how intense are these feelings, do you encourage them more. one must ascertain all these factors before breaking out from home or breaking the relationship.

marriage is about two people coming together to share their lives so its always important for the two of them to keep others at bay even their own family, friends and relatives when things concerned with their relationship are at stake, for that reason no decisions should be left to either of family members as it should done by the mutual agreement of the two and the couple must see that they are not intensely guided or lead by their families so much that it leads to conflicts and disagreement among them, after all its them who are in the middle of everything and its their life and nothing should affect or come in between their relationship to destroy their harmony.So a married couple should know who should they follow and lead by and remain conscious in their decisions and life roles.

The intention and thinking matters as much as the responsibilities and freedom in the marriage, where everyone has some prerequisite information that there are certain things which need to be followed in a marriage, some responsibilities and that there has to be equal space and freedom too even when all things are ‘meant’ to be shared, these are well common notions that everyone knows, but what I stress more upon, is the ‘Intention’ that goes into marriage when issues arise, in case of “what ifs” like the other doesn’t fulfill the responsibilities  or the other requires more space and time alone , gives priority to his/her career or goals more than ‘me’ or ‘my  home’ or ‘my family’, in  such cases disputes happen, so its important to eliminate these disputes by disclosing your intentions to continue with the marriage and relation no matter what happens , to reassure the other about your thinking and that these issues are very temporary and the factors harming the other are merely pretending to do so because the actual mindset with which you are into this marriage is only the truth that the other must know rest is fake and sublime.

A couple in the marriage or relationship must stand with each other in every problem or distress and must support each other with everything, for marriage is not only joy-some togetherness rather its assimilation and accommodation of  both the worlds that come in form of two human beings to come together to be identified as one whole .

Does it matter where Positivism come’s from ?

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We talk about being positive, having positive attitude and positive approach towards life.

Today Positivism has filled every corner of our life its there at the work or in our home, where the need and demand is growing at a very fast pace just as the technology is making our live’s vulnerable and stressful. The global life of an average person is being run over by stress , confusion, crises, tension, unfulfilled needs, desires complexities, problems, pain, suffering, and delusions that has become more or less an identity if that very person.

  For Instance , If we have a person who is every day ranting about his promotion at the work place, this person’s identity becomes  different unlike his skill or name he might be called as Mr. promotion or a real example about a women ( here  one of my friend ) who loves to splurge and go after brand shopping, it were no problem if she kept all that to herself rather pulling us who cannot spend so much and looks down upon us, for this i actually gave her a name i.e Ms Price Tag. 

There is nothing to ridicule about such people by assigning them names and they happen to be everywhere among our friends,  family, relatives, acquaintances etc who they are or how they relate to us is not the problem but the problem is that their goodness hides behind these over expressive attitudes and becomes extinct in wake of such behavior which is so frequent and predictable that none can expect anything else other than what they actually do everyday.

And Since this becomes the routine, it gets much harder to change or break such attitudes that stem from problems itself, because every kind of problematic attitude has origin that was first limited to that person and gradually spreads around as attitudinal problem that was formed to overcome the problem but happens to become more complicated. Such people are then stereotyped and named and the same notions are passed on to others even the new members who come in to their contact.

Everything that was positive or could be positive or explored positive fades out and even deteriorates with time. It is very important to prick the attitudinal balloon right away at the right time before it inflates and spreads and start acquiring space. The task is pretty hard and gigantic but still some can lead to make efforts in the right direction with right attitude. It really pains me a lot when the person is prejudged for his/her behavior on the basis of observation or the information provided by others around them.

So it becomes relevant in view of the above consequences to bring change among the people in question who may not readily agree to accept the harshness they carry in their attitude or that something they do affects the mental setup of the other people around them.  And thus it becomes next to impossible that anyone can bring change to them, for if we begin to try they might never agree to it and will investigate about the source of positivity that is coming from me or you for that matter.

But we cannot cease to look for change and bring out the goodness in them even if they abhor us for doing so. Because even we are not complete perfectionist or having really really good behavior, we have our fair share of mistakes and problems that we carry along and so it becomes difficult.

Its only if we can create a balance and complete positive outlook about ourselves first even if we are ignored, deprived, or  hated for some period but then if we keep gauging and encouraging the other person’s goodness to bring it out more in conversations and actions in front of the other people as well and get it all reinforced from others too, we can very well change the problematic attitude.

 

De Glam Life

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Life is great for some people who are born with disarming looks along a life of riches which makes things easier for them to achieve. And for those born into average looks and lead an average life things dont come easy to them , if it does its attributed to either destiny or luck, but if they dont appear even after hard work and struggles it all comes down to even below average where another sorts of problems collect around them.

I suppose that there are a plenty of people on this planet who lead a very plain life and often at some point of time would have desired if things could be reversed like the way they were born, or if they had paid attention to their looks earlier or if their parents were keen enough to care for them even more like the parents of the other kids do for them. we all must have felt this way certainly because we are born unhappy since the day we are born we begin life by crying and end it up crying for things we could never have or be born with. 

The major portions of life for women alt east runs around their looks , how attractive they are or how others think about them, the way they should dress but cannot, the makeup they can put on but cannot afford to have, and even to wear and be like those divas on the ramp but they cannot because they have got other better things to do that are safe and acceptable rather than walking the ramp. 

These thoughts that beauty gets all are not mine they are coming from generations that a person gets everything in life if they are attractive and have an eye catching personality .And since generations these thoughts  have hardened so much that they cannot be broken down maybe stereotypical of me to think but i cannot refrain ignoring it when i have vicarious experiences to share that yes beauty outnumbers brain.

Talking of my school days, i recollect how the most beautiful girls of  my class quoted ” After school i will marry the man of my dreams and live life like a queen ” at that time too i never had this mindset, i was steady that yes i have to study do my college and do a job and i shall be married off to a humble man and have to do the chores and work along to make ends meet, and no other thoughts seduced me or contradicted to those i had ever since school. 

But now as iv seen so much in life i wonder that is it necessary to carry out similar thoughts its no where written that god and society favors the beauty history is full of characters and heroes who aren’t beautiful yet remembered for their works and not for their looks. And In times today with all bot ox and jabs beauty is just a few lacks away deal to get. But am not inclined to do so nor i think many of the people who an afford or who cannot are bold enough to live life as they are born not what they should have with. 

Which is why we have so much of beauty promoting ads, lighter skin tone, tanned skin, fairer skin, wrinkled,  age less, spotless, needless to say that its eating out the natural way we used to live and for the ones who wish to live the natural way it makes life hard for them, a simple challenge here,  can one go without even using a moisturizer to work or lip gloss or kohl, no i guess not, and what about not getting your eyebrows or upper lips done, i guess you cannot live like this or i should say look like this. But if i had the chance,i would never take so much of  pain to groom myself for the way society wants me to be , when i can live with those. 

But again we are all part of the society and not following its norms as a girl would mean so much of chaos for myself and those concerned with me. Kind of names they would give you, or even term you as psychologically imbalanced person, wow so much for simplicity , but then who dares because i want to live in this society only i dont want to deviate or break free, the only thing i want and desire and many like me that they can at least have freedom, when dealing with their outer appearance and their own body for that matter. 

It will take a long time for people to accept a de glam life because a life full of glam and shimmer is what attracts to a lot and we often envy those people in hold of it, well its quite natural to have those feelings if you are born human and not a fish, and we slowly separate ourselves with such people be it in sh cool , college or work as if those people are beyond our reach , but then only if you talk to them , you may find some turn out to be just like their looks and some completely opposite are shallow.

But then we cannot judge everyone based on their looks and its even not fair to say that all average looking people are kind enough , everyone has an innate individuality and personality that reflects be it behind the makeup or after a face wash. Its needed that we get in touch with the real glam heart of people and its also needed that the society weighs conscious over glee and glam. 

A de glamorous life is not that easy to live, but  its full of good things to look into and get inspired with. 

 

Mehfil e Zindagi

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यह ज़िन्दगी की महफ़िल ….

 

अब कहाँ ….

शाम ए महफिले सजा करती है

हर तरफ बदरंग सी कोई नुमाइश लगती है

ना कहीं सुर है ना कोई साज़

हर तरफ सिने में छुपा रहा कोई राज़

 

क्यूंकि …

 

दिखावा करती यह दुनिया बरसो से चली

दिखावे के बिना अब कहाँ कोई शाम ढली

दिखावो में सिमटा हुआ हमसफ़र

दिखावटी ज़िन्दगी का छोटा सफ़र

 

इस …

 

चकाचौन्द में डूबा हुआ मन

हुआ बोझिल सा हर अन्तरंग

किसे देखे किसे बताये

की इस मन की क्या है आशाए

 

क्यूंकि

 

ना अब फुर्सत ना कोई विरासत

क्यूँ दे कोई अब अपना वक्त

किसको परवाह, कौन हो तुम

ढूँढेगा कौन हो गए अगर गुम

 

तो

 

यह महफिले ए ज़िन्दगी है जनाब

समझाना छोड़ दीजिये इसको ख्वाब

हकीकत है यही बयान कर चुके हम

इस दुनिया में नहीं हर कोई सनम

 

इसलिए

 

रिश्ते नाते वफ़ा या मोहब्बत

ना बनो इनमे किसी के भी भक्त

लगाओ मन प्रभु के चरणों में

नहीं रहा कुछ बाकी अब  झूठी कसमो में

Life is Greater Than Problems .

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A few years back i always thought about getting married and how beautiful the life will be like every girl would have thought , to go places,  to see the world , to hold hands, to eat good food , to wear the most fashionable clothes on honeymoon, to love and hug and get love and hugs 24 /7 and forever and ever. I too had such beautiful and exciting thoughts about getting married.

And i did get married and all wasn’t beautiful as it looked like in my case, because i had this picture in my mind that did not fitted well when i saw the other couples and heard their stories of romance and love making and how beautiful it was all in the arranged setup . I still managed for a good time but had to separate soon as things went ugly to awry and so it had to happen because after giving your extreme self to the other, there come’s a time when you have to realize that the heart that beats inside your body is the sound of your soul that wishes to live .

One has to believe that this life is not your or mine or anyone else’s for whom you need to sacrifice not even for your own miseries you dont have to die unless your time comes till that moment you should live with all its struggles, sufferings , good , bad, pain, sorrow, happiness, love etc.  I too had my moments where i thought everything is shattered, am in ruins and other stuff about thoughts to die and live no longer, and the best part i was encouraged even more to succumb to my thoughts passively by some people. But i never took the extreme i always prolonged that period of pain further than to fall apart.

I’ve learned and matured in my thoughts and to this day my problems and life struggles haven’t ended, and i have experimented with these feelings that how the other person lives well and am still in troubles, i have thought a way out for this too, i think i haven’t seen this person’s complete life what is there in his/her life , how bad or good his time will be or how he she would suffer or die i do not know, so would i still be willing to compare or desire his/her life or even exchange it . No ,not for once i hold my karma and my consequences as my own and i would never wish to change it with anyone else’s .

Believe you me even today after all that i still struggle and there’s so much in my life that needs to be well placed. After separation i lived quite peacefully and met a good person on a legal portal,  he too is separated and still struggling a lot without a job and money, and its been like this since the last 2 years and more, we have been with each other in rough times and holding each other, where we have least hopes for our marriage or a comfortable life in future, we shall have to do a lot to make ends meet. But we are not afraid to do that even because we will be together is what we care for.

Had it been like this, that only we two were concerned forever it could be easier but then, the sad part is the mix of two families our well settled wealthy relatives and friends who lead life of luxuries always keep asking about when, where,  how, why and what of our life’s, thank god i have got so much strength and courage to put a really great shape and face in front of them and even for him, we dont open up easily. I keep assuring  everyone about our future and we shall live good and he will get a job soon he is trying hard.

We have never given up on hope , to live a positive life with good thoughts , we struggle and cherish this period of struggle because we know we have met each other that was the best thing that could happen to us, we cry one hour but feel OK the other hour. i dont know where this enormous strength has come to us that we have suffered so much, that we are toughened by these circumstances and we just hope and wait for our days to change and let the sun shine for us .

Whenever am in trouble and have depression like feelings i always think that at least am alive to correct it and life is much greater than the problems itself, so why t worry as this period will go away , maybe it becomes a long period end-up in years but still it will end someday, it cannot remain forever. And believe its encouraging to think that you live good to change things , think of other things where you are killed by some mad person or die in a freak accident , its best that god has given you this chance and you are alive and able to transform the bad to good.

No wonder life is full of phases of good and bad but its best to endure in that time it can last for years and years but you still need to put up a smiling face before the society and friends so that they cannot know what you face, as only a percent of people will understand you and you never know which percent is that. So its best to keep your life and struggles to yourself it gives you courage strength and wisdom to continue and grow in life.

 

Love For He’s Her

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तुम जी सकोगे कैसे, किसी को दुःख देकर ,

 

की तुम जी सकोगे कैसे, किसी को दुःख देकर

और मन में यह राज़ कैसे जीयोगे साथ लेकर

 

की ज़िन्दगी युही नहीं, बीत जाती है बिताने भर से,

अफ़साने छुप नहीं जाते, ज़माने से नज़रे चुरालेने में

 

अब तो गैरो की बाँहों में भी ले लेते होगे तुम पनहा

जला लेते होगे शाम ऐ महफ़िल में, अपनी कोई नयी शमा

 

अफ़सोस कुछ भी नहीं तेरे जीने के ढंग से मुझे

पर जलन है की, दर्द लेके भी, क्यूँ याद है तू मुझे

 

ज़िन्दगी में बस और कुछ नहीं चाहत तुझको लेकर

बस परवाह है उस शमा की जो होगी तेरी सेज पर

 

फिकर है उस ओज की जो बुझती होगी हर लम्हा

दुःख देकर जीए तू, क्यूँ होता नहीं खुद फ़ना

 

In The Wake of Medicinal Culture Sympathies Trance

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Its been almost 5 days since the time i was bitten by some bug while shopping in the market for my cousins wedding. And till yesterday i was twisting and turning in unbearable pain, unable to sleep, walk, sit, and unfortunately not able to use the loo because it was positioned at such a fabulous location of my body,  just at the back of my left leg thigh and one can imagine how terrible it would be to go about the above functions quite normally.

I had a brief discussion about this bug bite, the pain and swelling it causes with, group of my friends and all had to share similar stories and one thing that was very common among all of us was the fact that, these bites happened in worst of places that leads to complete dysfunctional movements in body like the bums , thighs, eyes, or other part, the most favorite spot was “leg or the bum”.

I still wonder how the insect would have planned to hit it right at the bum to make it an unforgettable event for the person who bears these painful memories forever.  Am thankful to the bug to have chosen my back of thigh and not reach my bum !  i can imagine  it would have been more bad than this.

Though my struggle and suffering hasn’t ended till yesterday as i loved and believed that medicine’s do no good and its not necessary if you can bear the normal routine cold cough, fever, headache, pain etc unless its not life threatening . But this belief happened to crush and i had to give up on bearing the bad pain unable to move , so i resorted to taking medicine that was administered to me and yes i could sleep well and hit the loo and took all good time to sit and relax as far as i could as i was no more in pain.

It was the first dose and it felt good with no more pain, but the sting actually ruptured and what happened next was irritating with all pus and blood overflowing, and again a sleepless night , again during the morning pain came back and i was in so much dilemma whether to go for the second dose or not, but the luxury of doing away with the pain overpowered my beliefs and i took the medicine. This made me think a lot as why the homeopathic, Ayurveda  and home remedies not able to give instant relief .

   Allopathy  has taken the world by a storm , a headache pop a pill, stomach ache pop a pill, am tired of learning this now as i do not wish to take them , it pains me even more to swallow them in one go with water. I remember when i was a child i had to keep sugar, water and chocolate in my reach when i had to take medicines. At that time there wasn’t much an option where i could lay down my beliefs nor they were so strong as i see them now, but still i have to break down during some moments like this one.

It’s a truth, that the medicinal culture nowadays has sweep ed out almost everything we had before it came into existence, like forbearance, patience, endurance , will power, and spirit to live even if their is suffering and pain brought by disease and infirmity.  No longer a person desires to remain in pain or ache as they want to rid themselves of the suffering and get grooving again in the mad race of life.  its also the modern times where one cannot afford to lose something just because of cold, why to bear so much if there’s a cure.

It further aggravates the need and desire to get well as soon as possible and thus we go on taking medicines and quick treatments to get immediate cure. all these trends have diminished bonds, relations and warmth we used to have in earlier times where falling ill became a beautiful excuse to meet all the relatives and friends and all the encouragement , love and care one used to get has faded out with time,is taking away the sympathetic feeling out where no longer people come to see you, no longer they would send you wishes and flowers to get well soon as the person who is ill no longer wishes to lay in the bed as every time he/she would think they are missing a lot that happens around them. And its true , and many would agree that if they feel sick they would have to lose and miss a lot during the time they hold back in their home .

Its not bad to have revolution in the medicinal culture where diseases that were incurable few years back have treatment. But the diminishing bonds, relations, and warmth that was brought about by people visiting to see one who is ill was the driving force to give a lot of encouragement, love and care for the person who is sick and it created positive feelings where humanity thrived and bloomed.