No Replacement for “Maa”

For a couple of months i have focused a lot of attention to some posts i read on Facebook and other social media sites that cite requirement for, a full time care giver or a baby sitter for mother’s and working parents .
They ask for their babies ranging in the age group of as little as 4 months old up to 18 months and older than this can be kept in day care center or creches.

The growing need for extra income , more comfort and putting education to use in order to feel liberated and satisfying our own self, ego and identity has lead to this whole situation  where the ones who actually suffer in all this are the babies.

“Those eyes that keep longing to see their mother, those arms that constantly reach out in vain to grab and hold on to their mothers chest. Those continuous hand and leg movements that continously fight to reach to their mother. The movement of the mouth with lips and tongue that long to kiss and suck onto their mothers breast .
Those cries and yells for mother to come back go in vain”.

As if no body understands them but who are we lying to here we do understand very clearly that baby needs mother and nothing more than his very own mother that bore him inside her for 9 months and he can’t recognize anyone other than her mother where has she gone ?

My heart ached as i again go through the above description, why the little souls have to suffer so much just because they cannot speak or say no or that they can easily forget the pain of l their longing and suffering of the day and forget everything the moment they see their mother.

Why ?

Necessity is one thing that i can understand for anything other than that doesn’t go through my head every explanation is an excuse in front of the child that keeps longing and waiting to see her mother.

For no other person than his/her own mother can provide anything .
Actually there’s no replacement for a thing called maa.
The newborns and some months old babies cannot even speak and god forbid if anything happens to them at the hands of the person you leave them to in care of can one forgive themselves in such conditions.

Am shocked and aghast to see how can people trust for their precious ones. We keep money and gold in utmost safe places, be it best banks or best brand safes and lockers.

And when we need a care giver or an Aaya for baby there’s no brand or best for that. More over we blindly give in with our trust in few minutes of meeting that person because time is running out and we need to get back to work soon.

I personally think when we can already have a decent life in the income of one person that can be any one mother or father then what is the need for the other one to work for.

The point is why should the child suffer or let me put it this way why should you miss the golden years of your baby who is just beginning to bloom and grow and learn and experience new things of life.

No amount of money property or your own liberation can measure up to the amount of pain your baby goes through by just not seeing you around him.

For job and money can have their own time when she or he begins for school or is some years old to be able to put to use some life skills .

Babies and kids who cannot express themselves are very vulnerable beings, don’t  let them to care of a person you haven’t spent some years with. It is important to learn human psychology people are great actors they are different in front of you and completely different in your absence.

You just can’t trust nor leave him with her alone . that’s it !

And even if a child is sble to speak but can’t  express just because he was warned scared and scarred for not letting out that secret .

What can one do?

Simple “IF THERE’S NO NEED THEN DON’T LEAVE YOUR BABY”

Am equally sorry and angry at the condition of today’s world where parents willingly leave their small wonders for everything small in this world.

If you feel bad after reading my post apologies to you but i just can’t see babies crying for their mothers .
It literally tears my heart when i see their teary eyes longing for their mothers. It is worst thing to see a baby crying all day for his mom.

To sit back home and becoming a full time mom is a thing am proud of i don’t need a shit job to liberate myself or create my identity.
I am enlightened enough to appreciate life and the life i have created and lives that surround me by being happy from within.

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I feel some people are still pampered caressed and loved by their parents till adulthood ,whereas i think i was born very mature and brought like an adult.

Some people still live inside the womb while i was completely out after nine months. quote By Shilpi Chauhan

Lost ‘My’ Material Identity

So i was more or less devastated, tensed, felt raw and lost some few hours back ..

Last Thursday me along with my hubby and in laws went to puri in orissa for Jagannath darshan ( Lord Krishna). Since I believed that after marriage and before honeymoon i should go and seek blessings of Maa Vaishno devi at jammu but since my hubby wasn’t able to get enough leave from his office, then everyone decided to go Jagannath as it was not too far and its an overnight journey by train from kolkata.

So we went ahead knowing that it was the time of Rath Yatra and lord Jagannath visits his maternal aunt for few days in a chariot and comes back into the temple where till that time his replica is placed.

Puri Beach :awesome weather and water

So Puri this time is a hot spot for tourists ( mostly Hindus from other states) who flock there to see lord Jagannath and enjoy the Puri Beach, which is an epic beautiful place with all the sea water gushing to and fro and sea waves making sounds.

Here i Must confess that am not a whole hearted bhakt of Lord Krishna , though my hubby loves reading his geeta and currently he is reading Osho’s Geeta Darshan and from his readings he speaks to me of his many teachings and life skills which are very enlightening and realistic. I love listening the bhagwat katha of Krishna and his various Lila’s (maya) but unable to replace the love i have for shiva to him. So still not seriously like i would do when i am to see shiva i went jagannath puri , thinking of shiva as the jagannath unknowingly.

During the  morning we were not able to see  lord Jagannath, there being a huge crowd of  people jostling , fighting and pushing others just to climb on the chariot of lord jagannath, and even the other two chariots of subhadra ( Krishna’s sister ) and Balaram ( Krishna ‘s elder brother) that had equal share of people fighting to reach atop.  As if this ordeal was less in grace there were many pandits who snatched away the hands of the people who thought could shell out loads of cash to see the lord , they clutch the hand so tightly swearing by god that they will make you see and do the puja of lord jagnannth even in this endless sea of people standing and pushing in the invisible ques where the pandits were not spared the policemen s lathi ( wooden stick ).

All this time i was being pushed and twitched in the crowd but thanks to my hubby he never left my ‘body’ alone And between all this time i kept comforting my mother in law, as she was unable to bear the heat, sun and reckless people who shoved her and pulled her spectacles out of her sight, i kept soothing her saying its just for once and if not possible we will go back to the hotel. Finally we were not able to make it and upon a pandits advice we decided to come back in afternoon as he said that is the time when there are less people and we can do the puja and darshan.

So before the afternoon we bathed in the rain and sea water on the beach and went back for darshan, it seemed the crowd was less but then all of a sudden the people in the que grew more and more there were not one or two or three lines rather no lines at all it was again a crowd  that grew more and more around us and we began to feel the heat. Again the same pushing , pulling begun and this time it was more humiliating since the the police personnel’s who were trying to control the crowds actually hit the people anywhere they felt right in a fit of rage, actually they were also helpless controlling so many people was a tough task. so we still managed and struggled for about 2 hours or more just to see lord jagannath once ,but to no avail we went back to the tea stalls nearby for some water and refreshments.

View of Lord jagannath from a stall taken just before the loss.

As soon i opened my handbag for keeping my mobile phone after taking pictures of lord jagannath, i was shocked to see my handbag  ripped open , cut from behind and my brown wallet was gone, it had all the identity proofs like voter Id card , driving license, pan card, debit card with good cash amount , my gold chain and engagement ring and even my hubby’s engagement ring, that i had kept safely in it before going to the beach as i feared losing them while bathing because water softens the hand and rings may lose their grip.

I was stupefied and helpless for some time maybe an hour or so, but inside i was thinking that i had this intuition before, that i was about to lose my brown wallet in this the trip and as if i was wanting it to go. I don’t know why but i never put my little earrings in that wallet i put them into the small chains of my handbag, and it was that day i did not do so.

To narrate what i felt at that moment is something very bold and complicated because there was sense of loss but there was actually not that much of pain , i had to forgo almost things worth 2 lac and more and its a huge amount for me really huge, but why i did not feel so so sad as to have almost a week full of guilt, pain anger, cursing the thief , or just going berserk.

To this day even, I haven’t spoken of any ill for the thief though i just imagine the look on his face when he would see how fool i was to keep all that for him and how he would dance with joy and happiness on getting such a good deal, even though its not as if his whole life would change, but its more than enough to keep him high on spirits. anyhow we registered the FIR and had to devalue the value of the gold and cash that was stolen since we had to immediately procure the receipt of those ornaments in order to get the FIR lodged, but who had all that ,at that point of time, so we just thought of getting the FIR so as to apply for identity cards as soon as possible and more because we were not in our home town and for me i was even more far from my mother’s home.

Ever since this incident I haven’t told my mom about it, and thank god she is not aware of my blog nor the Internet. She took so much pains to make that gold ring for my hubby by giving her own gold ornaments of her marriage for making that ring. I feel doomed at some point of time for being so careless and guilty for losing her hard earned money which she gave for us to keep as we still need a lot of  financial support from both the families and along with this my savings had gone too that i had been doing for so long time .

Now i wish i had bought that Suit or that watch for my hubby and spent the

money at least from my savings , Anyhow if it had to go it had to go no matter what it was, the time that took it away and of course lord jagannath ( Krishna) he is complete mystique a psychologist and the most cleverest and intelligent of all the gods we have, whatever he does is for the good as i know of him.

And now its over i have to pursue for getting all this material identity again which will keep me busy for days to come and its test of my belief and spiritual consciousness and i cannot give all credits to Kanha ( krishna the jagannath)  for enlightening me on this i would give it more to Shiva the Supreme , peaceful, simple and an ascetic with ashes who let’s me be nor happy nor sad in every state. Even after losing all the materialistic things and material identity, i still believe in Shiva, and today its my first Sawan Somvaar Fast as the Fasting Sawan begins today on Poornima, from this day to next 4 Mondays will be somvaar sawan vrat.

And with this firm belief in my lord shiva i know ill be able to break this time as well into pieces and move out of the clutches of loss, which is actually a material loss that was never mine as it would have never gone along with me when i will die. It would only how something i gathered helped the other and thank the lord for he has given me enough potential to gather and give always.

Mother : How You Manage Your’s and Self

It doesn’t matter where satisfaction, pleasure and spirituality comes from, by doing anything that gives you inner peace and a reflection into the thoughts that make you do good and create good for self or the others is the best thing in the world.

Be it anything from cleaning the floor , digging hands into cow dung, writing a blog, listening songs, dancing , cooking, babbling with a baby or just  looking at the coconut trees.

Whatever can be done in free time that creates peace is something worth considering , not everyone will or can observe that when you do anything like the above or other than that you actually have the courage and ability to be on the right track, not interfering or troubling the others in order to keep you good , you yourself have the innate capacity to manage yourself and your peace.

Isn’t it a blessing and the greatest courage for all the housewife’s who do it and have the greatest capacity to look after them and their loved ones not bothering them even if they feel empty a lot of times , its just them and their world that they can create with their child , kitchen, home and everything that’s there in it.

Salute to the courage our mother’s have who have been running their household and office as well. It couldn’t have been without their strength and support that our fathers work peacefully and we get the greatest food everyday.

And am just new to all these experiences but i have the ability to recognize and reflect upon this greatest truths that i have unraveled that how my mother could manage so much and not only home but managing Herself as well that’s really a tough thing to do when you live all alone all day.

Happy Womens Day

A Dynamic Lady

I sleep with her every night

without any pillow fight

trying to sleep with her sound

and her bed is no less than a ground

we talk about each and every topic

and bless the lord for she’s not myopic

she has sweet life in this big house

with happy memories of her spouse

i see no gloom or vain in her

her family so big makes her merrier

prayers and devotion keep her intact

loves her food and life In fact

for me she is an inspiration

living richly without desperation

morning to evening am home or work

night is the time i sleep in her Kirk

for her home is too divine and pure

her breath is scented with words of cure

i have few days before i leave her

to go and look after my love’s mother

i will miss her thoughts and preaching

she is the master for life’s teachings

she is my grandmother and i call her ‘Amma’

she created our small world just like Brahma

One must know t…

One must know that its not the Power that let you do things rather, its the things you do that gives you the power .

I was narrating my idea about how we can protect the women in our society by making up an organization that can have volunteers around the city to come forward to help the women in times of distress. after listening she said you wont be able to do because only if you have had power you can do all this and that people wont let you, to which i said that only when ill do it ill have the power mom. And then there was silence.