Little things don’t make me happy
Things not Grand make me so snappy
I care about nothing less than Me
It doesn’t even matter to me who’s he
Everything big, fat and visible
Ostensibly grand but not divisible
I wish to own a one or more
fit enough to engage and allure
Screaming desires haunt my ego
life’s a waste if lived incognito
Nothing less than Grand will do
Am I or I am Greedy says Who ?
Please see, only the pretentious assure
Simple is not equal to happy anymore
Entire being goes into accumulation
Transgressing the path of renunciation
Shilpi C. Sinha
Our Mind (psyche )is very naughty, it plays with us, it wanders , it goes from here to there, from home to office, from office to places and keeps wandering , jumping here, there and everywhere. It is never still, it was never meant to be still,it was always like that, going around and coming around like a swing , it has its high’s and low’s .
It is never stable it is always in motion and so we are left in motion, moving with the flow of the mind, that carries our body with it, wherever it takes we go along, unknowing what it has to offer but we still go because after all its our mind that tells us and that controls us. we cannot do anything nor we can question what it wants or why it wants something, a thing even it sees that passes by like a new phone , a new car, or a new dress, it screams in our mind that YOU MUST HAVE IT , Why Not Own it !
We think we want it, so we begin to desire it, and finally it is our mind that tells us, we require it, but actually we don’t, we never realize its irrelevance until we have it, after a long struggle of pain tension, longing and forgoing almost every small and big happiness, for this particular thing,because we were waiting to be happy only the day we have it, that we always thought could make us really happy.
And so we begin to neglect everything in pursuit of this material that we never wanted since the beginning, but our mind said something, about its need, so we went after it, and all these days, months and years we wasted in getting that thing. And now we are used to the art of getting after things, living only for the big moments, small things no longer or never actually made us happy, even attempts by people around us to make happy shall go in vain, which is why people no longer matter to us.
None of the relations make us happy, because we see in them our own reflection , as if they are also after something , something much greater than my own thing, as soon as we think this they become our competitors and thus they no longer remain close to us, they are our enemies , they are now part of the great competition.
Slowly and Slowly life becomes more void, because now the mind craves even more, once you hold the thing you always wanted since years you move onto next , the value of this thing becomes Zero from the time you seize it . just think about this, for a moment, it doesn’t even matter now, how long can you enjoy it after all.
Again your mind sees a thing and starts wandering no longer the thing you got makes you happy , you remain more sad and more anxious and more worrying about your next goals, your next agenda’s or next thing you want to own, that you think would be ultimate source of happiness.
It hardly happens because since the beginning you were not happy and the moment you saw that thing made you more unhappy and the pursuit , the journey made you even more unhappy inside, and now you are conditioned to remain unhappy for long, now nothing can be done to make you happy , even this thing you just bought after so many years of hard work fails to make you happy.
You were always anxious, wandering and roaming around here and there , your mind was never still. had it been so it would just have been like the observer who sees the most awesome st of things in life but is hardly affected by them, nothing changes inside him, not even a nerve or a blink of eye . He remains the same goes on doing what he is doing, and is least moved by what he sees around.
And the one who sees around but never gets involved with it, in his mind is the most happiest soul ever.
SHILPI CHAUHAN SINHA
Since we have tried all the worldly pleasure’s since birth, it becomes difficult to live without them, if at all we had been brought up without those experiences, we would never knew any less or anything like suffering.
So i was more or less devastated, tensed, felt raw and lost some few hours back ..
Last Thursday me along with my hubby and in laws went to puri in orissa for Jagannath darshan ( Lord Krishna). Since I believed that after marriage and before honeymoon i should go and seek blessings of Maa Vaishno devi at jammu but since my hubby wasn’t able to get enough leave from his office, then everyone decided to go Jagannath as it was not too far and its an overnight journey by train from kolkata.
So we went ahead knowing that it was the time of Rath Yatra and lord Jagannath visits his maternal aunt for few days in a chariot and comes back into the temple where till that time his replica is placed.
So Puri this time is a hot spot for tourists ( mostly Hindus from other states) who flock there to see lord Jagannath and enjoy the Puri Beach, which is an epic beautiful place with all the sea water gushing to and fro and sea waves making sounds.
Here i Must confess that am not a whole hearted bhakt of Lord Krishna , though my hubby loves reading his geeta and currently he is reading Osho’s Geeta Darshan and from his readings he speaks to me of his many teachings and life skills which are very enlightening and realistic. I love listening the bhagwat katha of Krishna and his various Lila’s (maya) but unable to replace the love i have for shiva to him. So still not seriously like i would do when i am to see shiva i went jagannath puri , thinking of shiva as the jagannath unknowingly.
During the morning we were not able to see lord Jagannath, there being a huge crowd of people jostling , fighting and pushing others just to climb on the chariot of lord jagannath, and even the other two chariots of subhadra ( Krishna’s sister ) and Balaram ( Krishna ‘s elder brother) that had equal share of people fighting to reach atop. As if this ordeal was less in grace there were many pandits who snatched away the hands of the people who thought could shell out loads of cash to see the lord , they clutch the hand so tightly swearing by god that they will make you see and do the puja of lord jagnannth even in this endless sea of people standing and pushing in the invisible ques where the pandits were not spared the policemen s lathi ( wooden stick ).
All this time i was being pushed and twitched in the crowd but thanks to my hubby he never left my ‘body’ alone And between all this time i kept comforting my mother in law, as she was unable to bear the heat, sun and reckless people who shoved her and pulled her spectacles out of her sight, i kept soothing her saying its just for once and if not possible we will go back to the hotel. Finally we were not able to make it and upon a pandits advice we decided to come back in afternoon as he said that is the time when there are less people and we can do the puja and darshan.
So before the afternoon we bathed in the rain and sea water on the beach and went back for darshan, it seemed the crowd was less but then all of a sudden the people in the que grew more and more there were not one or two or three lines rather no lines at all it was again a crowd that grew more and more around us and we began to feel the heat. Again the same pushing , pulling begun and this time it was more humiliating since the the police personnel’s who were trying to control the crowds actually hit the people anywhere they felt right in a fit of rage, actually they were also helpless controlling so many people was a tough task. so we still managed and struggled for about 2 hours or more just to see lord jagannath once ,but to no avail we went back to the tea stalls nearby for some water and refreshments.
As soon i opened my handbag for keeping my mobile phone after taking pictures of lord jagannath, i was shocked to see my handbag ripped open , cut from behind and my brown wallet was gone, it had all the identity proofs like voter Id card , driving license, pan card, debit card with good cash amount , my gold chain and engagement ring and even my hubby’s engagement ring, that i had kept safely in it before going to the beach as i feared losing them while bathing because water softens the hand and rings may lose their grip.
I was stupefied and helpless for some time maybe an hour or so, but inside i was thinking that i had this intuition before, that i was about to lose my brown wallet in this the trip and as if i was wanting it to go. I don’t know why but i never put my little earrings in that wallet i put them into the small chains of my handbag, and it was that day i did not do so.
To narrate what i felt at that moment is something very bold and complicated because there was sense of loss but there was actually not that much of pain , i had to forgo almost things worth 2 lac and more and its a huge amount for me really huge, but why i did not feel so so sad as to have almost a week full of guilt, pain anger, cursing the thief , or just going berserk.
To this day even, I haven’t spoken of any ill for the thief though i just imagine the look on his face when he would see how fool i was to keep all that for him and how he would dance with joy and happiness on getting such a good deal, even though its not as if his whole life would change, but its more than enough to keep him high on spirits. anyhow we registered the FIR and had to devalue the value of the gold and cash that was stolen since we had to immediately procure the receipt of those ornaments in order to get the FIR lodged, but who had all that ,at that point of time, so we just thought of getting the FIR so as to apply for identity cards as soon as possible and more because we were not in our home town and for me i was even more far from my mother’s home.
Ever since this incident I haven’t told my mom about it, and thank god she is not aware of my blog nor the Internet. She took so much pains to make that gold ring for my hubby by giving her own gold ornaments of her marriage for making that ring. I feel doomed at some point of time for being so careless and guilty for losing her hard earned money which she gave for us to keep as we still need a lot of financial support from both the families and along with this my savings had gone too that i had been doing for so long time .
Now i wish i had bought that Suit or that watch for my hubby and spent the
money at least from my savings , Anyhow if it had to go it had to go no matter what it was, the time that took it away and of course lord jagannath ( Krishna) he is complete mystique a psychologist and the most cleverest and intelligent of all the gods we have, whatever he does is for the good as i know of him.
And now its over i have to pursue for getting all this material identity again which will keep me busy for days to come and its test of my belief and spiritual consciousness and i cannot give all credits to Kanha ( krishna the jagannath) for enlightening me on this i would give it more to Shiva the Supreme , peaceful, simple and an ascetic with ashes who let’s me be nor happy nor sad in every state. Even after losing all the materialistic things and material identity, i still believe in Shiva, and today its my first Sawan Somvaar Fast as the Fasting Sawan begins today on Poornima, from this day to next 4 Mondays will be somvaar sawan vrat.
And with this firm belief in my lord shiva i know ill be able to break this time as well into pieces and move out of the clutches of loss, which is actually a material loss that was never mine as it would have never gone along with me when i will die. It would only how something i gathered helped the other and thank the lord for he has given me enough potential to gather and give always.
Now I am a complete homemaker, doing all the household chores and actually loving it, we have relocated to this new place and am liking it alot , it seems, if just two people live under a roof there are so many things to explore and care for rather living with many people and just caring for self.
I like this life and completely in love with the amount of free time and space, its like a dream come true , for what i had always been waiting for , this is what i wanted all the time when i was busy all day doing my job , studies and home tasks. But now its a whole lot of freedom , with no studies no job and no framework for work .
Life is moving really nice and i can feel and sense the time that never flies rather its slow and steady and seems to me that its just what one requires in life that he she doesn’t need to run with time rather wait for the time to chime.
Time that flows slow is simply sweet and wonderful because it has nothing to do with materialism, moreover it has the qualities of disintegrating you into different forms where one can explore and discover a lot about life in its true forms , the real essence of it and true meaning that revolves around things that we forget to peep into.
Simple encouraging acts of small work or no work and just enjoying the environment in the present mood itself is quite enchanting experience because you are so much free , you have all the time to do something and to do nothing , this explorations of nothingness is beyond comparison where you can be just with you, there’s no running for being someone else like in your office shoes or have makeup or to read some news.
Its just you and the time you have all the time even that you forget about time.
We Expect from everyone, but cannot Accept anyone.
THE MIND OF AN EGO-LESS SPIRIT
We are known for WHO we are,
And not for WHAT we are
Why shouldn’t we try?
To become Ego-less,
Then to see not judge
The people, for not who they are
But for, what they are
To think and believe the Ego-less spirit
You need an empty mind
Bring the thoughts in,Filter each one
and then Let enter.
To think the best, for what you feel out
for the person before you and the person in you
Take him out for some stroll
Relax and do some talk on some undisputed cause,
Shell out the best And remember it needn’t have any clause
Then Splurge into the sea,of pride so divine
where Ego thrives in abyss
You can reveal your True self,
on the sea In the boat of happiness
Out on the shore you come at last,
Knowing what person you are
you can be and believe your self
no more for who you were or are.
Every genre of life holds some kind of productive roots that need to be harnessed in order to sustain for life and better livelihood to keep cycle of life consistent. For a human, its quite unimaginable to think about a life that is absent of materialism.The pursuit of this powerful yet significant source ( money) for life is ruthless and impinges upon the life so much that without it one can barely live the act of living.
The insatiable human life that never cease’s to desire materialism, hardly has any space left for spiritual conscious growth that could pose as a great escape for some who breath their last breath of soot in misfortune as their endless failures never ended.
For some failure is the end of experiments but for me failure is a beautiful concept that reminds me of my existence, am alive and in action and that I am making full use of every breath of mine. And i never fail to happen be it for countless failures or little spells of chance success. life is as much you and i know about it with past present and future attributed around two words success or failures but we fail to see beyond these two dictionary words.
It is unexpected of any human to detach them self from the life they have today, with so much of happening around them, since childhood school to their adulthood offices, life is full of events, emotions etc. whatever has happened in the past or whatever will happen in the future, we all try to personalize them and include those events of the past to the present moment and even attach the present shaping to suit it best for the future.
In the process we stop realizing the present which is all today the very moment we live in, we care so much about the failures the mistakes the events that happened that it begin to shape our future through our present moments of pondering over the past, thinking it shouldn’t happen again in the future we keep ruining and playing with the present.
The future has innumerable opportunities that the present may not know, the lack of awareness of the future is a blessing i believe as the graph of life is never a line, its rhythmic and this is a sign that we should have rebellious hope to do our work till the end whatever be the outcome let it remain, let it hold, but never stop the action.
Failures often leave us down and disappointed and even hopeless so much that we choose to quit action or some may even quit their lives, because again the matter is how you take the failures . There can be intermittent or consistent failures in life , if you ask me, i have consistent failures that i never personalize.
Because the day you begin to personalize with the failures its the day you cease to act anymore. Be it one or endless failures it should never let you stop, rather be rebellious having hope not for success or winning but hope that you shall continue despite these failures even if it happen time and again .
To hope in misery is to be rebel, to hope life in death is rebel, Hope is an endless rebellion towards life that even failure is natural and so is the hope that should never end. Hope is just not a factor or a word if you term it like that then the failure is just a word defined for a thing, idea, or event that went wrong not the way you planned.
I believe that these terms like, failure, mistakes, devastated depressed, death, divorce, pain, ruined etc are becoming more symbolic and full of imagery the moment you think of them whereas the positive words like being happy, love,hope, faith, never give up, belief etc are becoming more abstract because we can barely find any of the events describing them in our imagination when we are only going through the above negative terms that heavily sits and eat up our conscious.
which is why more and more people are becoming sad and full of disappointing because the ones they seek approval from or even look up for positivism are themselves full of negativity in and around them. we actually have lost our innate capacity to harness our own energy for being positive and its hard to do that mechanical work now of rebuilding.
The more practical answer to failures is then only the rebellious hope for this you need not change your mental setup of all positive and spirituality because i know its very hard to do it, even i cannot pull myslef from thinking negative so many times but the thing i always practice is this incessant hope i keep which becomes more and more rebellious with every failure that i encounter.
It has made me hard and courageous and so much that am least affected by life, am more able to enjoy small moments of happiness i dont long for big ones and i enjoy small things like eating the left piece of cake, or cooking some noodle, playing with my niece, or watching my Favorite songs. I no longer wait but i still move and act and i dont give up on action in life for there’s nothing to loose till the time you’re alive play with life.
People around the world will go mad, osho had one quoted, and its seems like all he said was very true .
People today live a very unreal life , a world of their own imagination where they want to fulfill their desires and needs as soon as they originate in them. No longer repression of desires is being followed as we live in an open world with open feelings followed by social media, technology and so much to display through PDE ( public display of emotions or affection ‘PDA’). But still there is a good lot of people living in closets, and life full of repressions and regressions that they carry on all their lives and have no means for catharsis.
With all the bursting and growing technological advancement and rapidity of life with all its exuberance and extravagance that has been brought by progress, I still crave for a world that had never moved so fast and changes that happened for good would never have happened so that the bad would have never come along with it.
We exist in a world where we have created milestones of progress and advancement in so many areas but have also digressed away from our roots. Had there been no weapons, no technology, no lust for materialism , i can still imagine, the world would have been far much better, as i support my view through this that having all this makes us suffer which is what is happening.
And its happening and people are actually becoming mad, doing monstrous acts, and blindly collecting things they desire but do not require. In light of so many criminal activities the world over, be it in Syrian attacks, Connecticut massacre and the recent Delhi gang rape case, there is no ending to the brutality and violence that is happening in every form and in almost every country.
The crime largely stems from sex and aggression, and thus it transforms into crimes that accompany , hatred, assault, massacre, rapes physical and mental torture, abuse and other big war crimes. No longer we can acknowledged the ability of peaceful talks taking place to transform the criminal mindsets. Its a thing of past today, no longer there is fear among the people who toy these criminal thoughts and covert them into their play.
The need is to impose strict control in form of tight laws, that are least flexible and observance these laws, that let fear set in the hearts of every individual who would have no chance other than to run his mind a million times before he desires to commit such acts of violence and abuse upon the innocent victims be it children, women and men . The only way to get some peace at least into some corners of the world is through diligent practice of brutal punishment so that committing crime becomes as fatal as driving a break less vehicle .
Quite similarly the Arabic Nation have much powerful punishment for different criminal acts, like capital punishment for rape and murder as compared to other countries where it follows fine or imprisonment for a fixed period of time. such punishments never take the evil out of the criminals rather it strengthens their urge to avenge themselves on being let out, nor do they transform for any good , it happens in least cases. the best way to punishment is to see the gravity of crime that leads to physical and mental damage upon the victim in any form and the investigations and punishment should be speedily done so that it does not increase the pain and agony of the victims who have suffered already.
The heartfelt need is not just talk , report, support, debate, discuss or protest rather something concrete in form of laws and actions. moreover the people all round the world who feel such emotions trouble them and it may give rise to criminal actions should open up and talk about it to psychologists or they can follow spiritual Gurus or practice meditation themselves. One must know that Hoarding of bad karma will trigger a chain of more bad karma and accumulates, where the responsible person alone has to bear the consequences time and again and if its not completed in one birth , he /she has to take several births to face the consequences of the karmic actions, as they cannot be compensated with the good karma .
Follow the righteous path of goodness and Justice always and always be hopeful and positive about life, You an do it all if you are still living and seeing all happening . its time to change the time is now, and as you come to know of it start practicing doing good karma .