Tag Archives: job

No Replacement for “Maa”

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For a couple of months i have focused a lot of attention to some posts i read on Facebook and other social media sites that cite requirement for, a full time care giver or a baby sitter for mother’s and working parents .
They ask for their babies ranging in the age group of as little as 4 months old up to 18 months and older than this can be kept in day care center or creches.images

The growing need for extra income , more comfort and putting education to use in order to feel liberated and satisfying our own self, ego and identity has lead to this whole situation  where the ones who actually suffer in all this are the babies.

“Those eyes that keep longing to see their mother, those arms that constantly reach out in vain to grab and hold on to their mothers chest. Those continuous hand and leg movements that continously fight to reach to their mother. The movement of the mouth with lips and tongue that long to kiss and suck onto their mothers breast .
Those cries and yells for mother to come back go in vain”.

As if no body understands them but who are we lying to here we do understand very clearly that baby needs mother and nothing more than his very own mother that bore him inside her for 9 months and he can’t recognize anyone other than her mother where has she gone ?

My heart ached as i again go through the above description, why the little souls have to suffer so much just because they cannot speak or say no or that they can easily forget the pain of l their longing and suffering of the day and forget everything the moment they see their mother.

Why ?

Necessity is one thing that i can understand for anything other than that doesn’t go through my head every explanation is an excuse in front of the child that keeps longing and waiting to see her mother.

For no other person than his/her own mother can provide anything .
Actually there’s no replacement for a thing called maa.
The newborns and some months old babies cannot even speak and god forbid if anything happens to them at the hands of the person you leave them to in care of can one forgive themselves in such conditions.

Am shocked and aghast to see how can people trust for their precious ones. We keep money and gold in utmost safe places, be it best banks or best brand safes and lockers.

And when we need a care giver or an Aaya for baby there’s no brand or best for that. More over we blindly give in with our trust in few minutes of meeting that person because time is running out and we need to get back to work soon.

I personally think when we can already have a decent life in the income of one person that can be any one mother or father then what is the need for the other one to work for.

The point is why should the child suffer or let me put it this way why should you miss the golden years of your baby who is just beginning to bloom and grow and learn and experience new things of life.

No amount of money property or your own liberation can measure up to the amount of pain your baby goes through by just not seeing you around him.

For job and money can have their own time when she or he begins for school or is some years old to be able to put to use some life skills .

Babies and kids who cannot express themselves are very vulnerable beings, don’t  let them to care of a person you haven’t spent some years with. It is important to learn human psychology people are great actors they are different in front of you and completely different in your absence.

You just can’t trust nor leave him with her alone . that’s it !

And even if a child is sble to speak but can’t  express just because he was warned scared and scarred for not letting out that secret .

What can one do?

Simple “IF THERE’S NO NEED THEN DON’T LEAVE YOUR BABY”

Am equally sorry and angry at the condition of today’s world where parents willingly leave their small wonders for everything small in this world.

If you feel bad after reading my post apologies to you but i just can’t see babies crying for their mothers .
It literally tears my heart when i see their teary eyes longing for their mothers. It is worst thing to see a baby crying all day for his mom.

To sit back home and becoming a full time mom is a thing am proud of i don’t need a shit job to liberate myself or create my identity.
I am enlightened enough to appreciate life and the life i have created and lives that surround me by being happy from within.

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Feeling Lonely or Alone

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Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I was all happy and glee after i got married and settled with my hubby separately and away from my mum’s home that always bustled with the energy of my niece and nephew, And where work began before morning and i could never exactly figure out when will i end up in bed maybe past midnight or even more.

So suddenly i was all the more happy thinking now there’s no work and i can sleep, eat and freak at my own will but then came the loneliness, i could feel it even more because i have never been accustomed to living alone , i was always surrounded by people since school, college, work , home and i never felt like living without people was so difficult.

Because when i was living with them, all my life i felt like breaking away from them and taking sanyas and spending few years of my life alone before i get married and maybe not. I thought this many a times in my life because living in a family is not only the place where your parents, siblings and juniors influence you but also your immediate neighbors, relatives and even colleagues interfere a lot with your daily work and bread.

And so i waited and waited for my marriage to happen, the day ill be free to go on a living spree !

At first it looked nice and fresh since the honeymoon period was going on and all you think about is love and making love to my hubby. Then as the days go by i could feel an urge to go out and find work since i had left my job after marriage and moved to another city with him.

I kept exploring all possible options since working in a new place isn’t easy and there were language and cultural barriers, so i gave up looking for job and instead focused on myself thinking after all i had worked so much i must relax and enjoy doing nothing.

Days became months and months became a year, and this feeling of being alone even when we are both present hasn’t changed a bit, i wonder how do the other couples manage to live alone.I often convey my hubby about the random thoughts that cross my minds to alleviate these feelings of loneliness in me, like we must get his parents here to live with us, or that i will have at least 4 kids so that my home is always filled with noise and i keep watching little people crawling around .

He looks so much amused hearing all this but never denies me for doing anything even bringing my stupidest thoughts to reality and conforming them that they will be done.

All this and more hasn’t helped me a lot, this inner craving for people around has made me cry a lot and feel sad every time my parents, brother’s family and in laws visit me and come here to live with us for few days.

Their short duration visit’s make me even more vulnerable, i feel depressed and just cannot live alone and it get’s worse when my hubby has a tour which is for 2 or 5 days, i panic out and buy tickets immediately for home since i just cannot live by myself.

I don’t know why it happens but this need for attachment makes me weak and vulnerable, I am aware of my abilities and think am too strong to live alone and even handle everything in life ever since childhood since i have been brought up like that only, but what has happened now, something has changed in me and i cannot figure out what it is.

There’s nothing wrong externally, but everything that is wrong is internal, i have realized that soon after am left alone, when hubby goes to office or some tour my mind jumps around over the thoughts wagon and it turns on the sad mode where i think that now am alone, what next, what next, it goes around exploring bringing files and folders from past, when i was home around with everyone and how many times in my present home i felt elated to see my little nephew crawling around and how we all slept on the floor together over the mattresses in one room chatting all night.

It doesn’t stop anywhere it goes on and on, oscillating from one memory to another, all related to my being surrounded by people and constantly poking my conscious about the happiness factor that only happens when am with those people.

Now this has to stop, i cannot stop my thoughts though i can control them to some limits where i can consciously and deliberately attempt not to think about that at all and focus on the present moment like i now practice looking at the trees from my balcony ,read a book, focus on some TV serials, prioritize my thoughts and randomly select the ones that suits my present moment and upon the availability of the factors that will contribute and enhance them .

In totality the onus of changing thoughts is upon us, I am now aware that if you let these thoughts acquire you even starting from a single one, it will start a chain reaction and then you will be completely submerged into the sea of thoughts where it will become more difficult and harder to get out dry and alive. The thing is not to let even the slightest single thought affect or get onto you.

This way a lot of everyday problems can be handled, the feeling of loneliness or being alone is just one of them . Every problem is internally located somewhere in our mind, we have to deliberately find and fix the thoughts first its like debugging, to find and delete all the bad files first that corrupt the hardware that is our mind.

 

After all Its Not Necessary !

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After all Its Not Necessary !

Natural Health & Healing

Yesterday I asked this question to myself ID-100220506

Is this all really Necessary ? 

To get a job, to get enrolled for some course, to save money to buy house , to achieve something in life, to make more money, to have a baby as soon as possible , to have big dreams like buying a yacht and a penthouse and doing something in life that is remarkable and something that would make people around me say WOW , and then seeing their expression would make me happy, happy as in real happy i guess.

Its clear, Is this all really necessary , i mean we only do certain things to feel happy and proud only when others are there to see them around who would cheer us, greet us , congratulate us, and work for us or just please us. Isn’t this true !

Imagine there is only you on…

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Emotional Deprivation

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After so much of planning, packing , travelling, searching and relocating , i have finally been able to connect with you all after such a long gap. Its been physically draining and exhausting journey that is yet to be completed.

My dearest Hubby has found this amazing new job that suits everything from his skills to bills, so that makes it more obvious that we have shifted from east to west of India, and all the household goods are still to come which makes everything appear to me as if we are living in a hostel sleeping on the floors with a thin mattress under a bed sheet and eating meals every day from outside. 

Wow ! But its fun that am off cooking for some days resting but still doing the chores like dusting and cleaning 🙂

In between all this hurry up , quick, no time, planning, writing, and travelling , i couldn’t find time to emotionally connect with my inner thoughts about leaving a place and leaving my mother and father in law back. It was all done up in 15 or 20 days time that hardly left any thoughts in me rather than a physically exhausted body that longed for rest.

Today i feel deprived of emotions that had to happen during a particular time and day but it couldn’t but yes i had tears in my eyes at the platform bidding adieu to my mother and father in law as they were the ones who will be most affected during our absence and same for me as i had one more mom with whom i shared my heart. I will miss her a lot .

And leaving kolkata, my favorite destination for the worlds best phuchka’s ( pani puri) around 20 to 25 in one go used to have them daily . oh they were so mwahhhhhhhh. will miss them too.

Its only now that am writing and remembering, what all i have left and will miss, my friend pooja and i missed meeting her son debu, he was sleeping i did not disturb and just met pooja and came back home . Ohh i should have hugged debu .

This will continue and will go on but life still moves on without pauses or full stops, having the time to acknowledge these things are more than enough but to get them right on time is a thing to be mastered and i need to practice it, to find time for emotions and letting them out even if am short of time.

 

The Saree Season

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I never thought that a long piece of really smooth fabric could change my look and all these days i was so afraid to wear it , because i

Me In Saree

Me In Saree

thought i should wear the saree but without wearing that look of looking like a behenji or like old aunts.

I prefer looking more like a girl somewhat girlish look in a saree because am conscious of my FAT that may get disposed off here and there as i love the low rise showing the beautiful waist which i think i don’t have but still i long for that perfect figure.

Anyhow i have been wearing saree’s ever since my school farewell and i was literally crying seeing my friends carrying it so well and showing their lovely figures all over and around whereas i wore the saree not to expose but literally covered myself in the 6 yard saree, to add more to my woes the farewell pictures were absolute disaster for me.  Then came the college where i learnt to carry the saree quite well but not the matching blouse accessory stuff again a disaster that made me turn out looking dressed up for a marriage and not a college farewell.

Then came the teacher training where it was mandatory to wear the saree for teaching practice there i learnt to carry , match and mix all the ingredients quite well to look fabulous as much i could but again a disaster as i never did make up or apply even a little kohl in my eyes so it was simply simple not much surprising for me. After that i got in to teaching job where i wore the saree plus the makeup and accessory, here it was nice as i could carry off my saree quite well but lacked appreciation or enjoyment of wearing it or feeling that i was looking great today or yesterday in that pink or red saree.

But today is the saree day and i beg to differ from all the opinion s above that i got it all right this time ,the makeup ,accessory , mood , figure, face and the best part ,compliments from my hubby ,in laws and eyes of the strangers on the road , in the mall, and else every where. wow i feel so great that finally am able to mix them all right and make the perfect dish from me for me.

A Snap of my perfect recipe that ive been longing to make since ages and finally ive done it is on the right.