Tag Archives: hate

Love For He’s Her

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तुम जी सकोगे कैसे, किसी को दुःख देकर ,

 

की तुम जी सकोगे कैसे, किसी को दुःख देकर

और मन में यह राज़ कैसे जीयोगे साथ लेकर

 

की ज़िन्दगी युही नहीं, बीत जाती है बिताने भर से,

अफ़साने छुप नहीं जाते, ज़माने से नज़रे चुरालेने में

 

अब तो गैरो की बाँहों में भी ले लेते होगे तुम पनहा

जला लेते होगे शाम ऐ महफ़िल में, अपनी कोई नयी शमा

 

अफ़सोस कुछ भी नहीं तेरे जीने के ढंग से मुझे

पर जलन है की, दर्द लेके भी, क्यूँ याद है तू मुझे

 

ज़िन्दगी में बस और कुछ नहीं चाहत तुझको लेकर

बस परवाह है उस शमा की जो होगी तेरी सेज पर

 

फिकर है उस ओज की जो बुझती होगी हर लम्हा

दुःख देकर जीए तू, क्यूँ होता नहीं खुद फ़ना

 

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Attachment is Evil’s Desire

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Buddha’s 4 Noble Truths and 8 Fold path to Achieve and Adopt for Life..

Its a fight everyday, to sail through good and bad, is no easy task. One has to slip and slide in good times wishing that it remains constant and uninterrupted.

But to forget it as soon as the shadows of bad phase surface’s,  which puts on hold everything, you may think should stop or imagine has stopped, only to make you realize that now it will be a very long time and you cannot pass this that easily. Every minute seems an hour and every hour may go like a year when you happen to experience a bad phase of life and it may prolong for, hours, days and even some years.

What contributes to these feelings of good and bad phase happy or depressing is a much  deeper fact, where life is an unending journey of the human being who from conception to death has to suffer or struggle and manage it all in between, be it mentally or physically.

The cause of every bad and good in our life is because of one and only one reason that is ATTACHMENT. this attachment to any thing can stem from material or non material choices we make and even if it concerns to Human or any other creatures we feel attached to .It is therefore the core concern for the suffering that is brought unanimously during different stages of life.

The Need for attachment is in every sense fulfilling, realizing and relieves us from the sense of being alone and deprived of social connectivity. So in a way we are Dependent for our happiness, anger, love, pain, depression, death or life upon others , we just cannot refrain form this attachment the need to be dependent the need to have someone around us even if it makes us suffer or not.

This creates all the problem where a person can just not be attached with himself/herself and is constantly in need to belong to anyone anywhere. Our emotions are no longer controlled by us , rather we are tamed by the forces outside that recover whatever kind of response or reaction they want from us.

Beginning your day from getting up, even if you hadn’t slept the whole night, you make haste for work ignoring your peace ,you do the chores ignoring your health, you skip the meal ignoring your hunger, you reach on time ignoring your heart that runs fast and the list goes on where you ignore about “Your Self” a lot only to get along in the mad race to make others happy, to get that acceptance, and approval so much that this world runs everyday, to achieve those even at the cost of physical and mental well being.

As its known that death is a certainty and no one can overcome it, but still we run expecting that we will live to see what will happen ignoring the truth that our life is not our own, we have no control over it, so how can we let the others control what happens between life and death, it is the god who controls it so just surrender.

Its a pity to see people working all their life to collect more and more and one day their cord snaps away, the shroud doesn’t have any pockets wonder what will they take along with them. Nor you can take your property, your gold, nor money nor your loved ones , they dont die after you if you were to pass away or do they ? much rare it is.

The need is to see and feel that life is not to be wasted like this, it needs to be glorified by doing good karma and deeds that bring you peace and calm, a simple hour of meditation or feeding the poor kids can bring you a lot more peace of mind than sitting in the air conditioned room and watching the mountains through a glass window and not able to breathe fresh flowers or air. Its best to keep your control ie your remote with your self rather than giving it in the hands of all these . One must realize that their life is meant to be carried out all alone. As we tend to perceive good or bad through people, events or things we come in contact with, their attachment or detachment triggers the generation of certain emotions in us that we should learn to control and detach from.

On similar lines i recall the teachings of Mahatma Gautama Buddha who had attained this truth through enlightenment and presented the same as the four noble truths.:

The Four Noble Truths:

  • There is suffering and misery in life.
  • The cause of this suffering and misery is desire. ( Attachment as i see )
  • Suffering and misery can be removed by removing desire.
  • Desire can be removed by following the Eight Fold Path

 And that following the Noble Eightfold Path is the means to accomplish this.

  • right view
  • right intention
  • right speech
  • right action
  • right livelihood
  • right effort
  • right mindfulness
  • right concentration

The above mentioned teachings by Gautama Buddha if followed can create a harmony of the body, mind and soul. we have so much to look into to ascertain the real truth of life and the meaning of it, so that we all have a purposeful and peaceful medium to cherish our life as a whole rather accomplishing it in parts.

In our Upanishads, the Vedas,the Bhagwad Gita and many more, can lead us to self realization and attainment of enlightenment that would unleash us from the vicious cycle of life, from the fear of miseries,n attachment, unknown and death. There’s so much in this one life to know,that remains unexplored because we tend to run after a good package for a year that would suffice our lower order needs. And in the end after having done the normal routine work of your life that every other man or woman does, one shall die but there always would remain an urge in the next life or this life, as when shall we break free from this attachment and desires through Enlightenment.

Beyond Gender : Whole is more than sum of its Parts

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Single Entity GAURISHANKAR.

Since Childhood I’ve heard these words but could never unravel the facts or forces that goes around them. I’ve been quite naive in understanding the true meaning or the essentials about, what embodies the concept of feminism or masculinity or gender as a whole in true sense.

Though i frequently used to use such words in my essays and writings ,depicting and relating  to empowerment of the womenfolk at one hand and how brave and courageous are men in history.

But I was never able to gauge the real essence of these words, even after having almost vicarious experiences when the very significance of my being a women was in question and how i was being afflicted by the masculine beings, in all this i never realized how should i explore or should i explore the feminist in me ?, to get myself upright against the men.

The search began in the troubled waters, and still remained unidentified for some time,in the mean time i was actually away from all the problems and deplorable conditions, and that too without any feminism that came to rescue me.

I actually didn’t needed any gender role to help me nor any special femininity, i discovered that being a gender is being average but being a human is being the best to solve life and its issues in an objective and Superior way.

Being in control of one’s gender or sex controls the problem solving skills and limits our conscience for taking decisions in an unbiased manner is what i discovered eventually.

Its been only when i was able to think conscientiously about the other gender in specific and its nothing i keep against my own but its a way to differentiate between what is wrong and what is right, not who is wrong or who is right . it is completely off the base for any gender .

I’ve come across many textbooks during school time that our societal setup is governed by patriarchal or matriarchal structure in different, different communities or castes, influenced and maligned by favoritism and subjectivity, with regard to issues and concerns, dealing with gender roles and responsibilities. In the same way the Family, Relationships be it boyfriend and girlfriend, men and women, among friends, sisters and brothers, others, have this prominence of Domination by any of the gender controlling and occupying the major portions of decisions and role- responsibilities.

Here such setups and gender variance have influenced the peace and harmony of many relationships and almost created a divide among the two, due to inadvertent behavior .

The focus which i imply for this is to think yourself as  “NON GENDER”, i know this may sound weird and obnoxious but here may be, the key to bridge every difference and resolve issues when it comes to relationships and love.

 But we can try to achieve and attain good positive outcomes if we connect with the human side of our being and not the gender.what happens here i shall explain..

” when you have a fight say with your spouse , you may think about the verbal or non verbal behavior that affected you , and how one could demean your status , you being a man or women , got hit on your ego, your thoughts, your decisions, your ideas, your actions, here everything relates to your gender “first”- you may cry being a women, or man, or even burst out in anger being a man, or a women, the two cordially relates to the first gender being talked about , the second one if displayed such behavior would in normal settings be disapproved of ” .

So the thin line here is to Accept the behavior without the gender in concern, moreover its for both to consider the actions and deeds of others and self in a non gender specific way , and find more reasonable and logical occurrences for issues.

I cannot refrain myself from relating an Ideal relationship of Lord Shiva and Devi Parvati who are above any gender and complete forms of each other..

Shiva is called the Ardhnarishwar, that is half man 

and Devi parvati as Ardhangini .half women.

They are Incomplete without each other, their form is complete only when the two meet and join to form into one supreme part as  Gauri Shankar.

Every relationship should aim for such togetherness idealizing Shiv and Parvati who are above any gender norms and form

to sum up i can recall another very great statement that has affected me for long…                     that “the whole is more than the sum of its parts”. as stated by gestalts applies aptly here.