Tag Archives: happiness

Is it the township or the people ?

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Is it the township or the people ?

After few months of joy we started feeling very lonely. Nobody visits us, nor we are invited anywhere. There are no weddings to attend and even no parties. In clubs and malls there still remains this feeling of being alone even after seeing so many faces eating under the same roof but over different tables. We hardly know anyone, talking is out of context altogether.

There are highs and lows of living in a township, I never thought I would be here after living in suburban colony, it seemed as a new light but this light was dim and dull unlike the local colonies that always had a bright spark about them.

Not to mention the people; here in township are not very warm and not very gentle, though I cannot conclude much about this, since I haven’t talked to any in particular but every person carry an aura around them, and I tend to sense that along with the vibrations when they walk around me. I hardly find anyone approachable enough to start a conversation and the once that may be, my bad luck; I haven’t had their vibrations felt as yet.

It feels very lonely when you’re on your own even when you have a family you still feel out of place, because living in your hometown is much different than living in a township that too miles away. There are hardly any relatives and friends around whereas in your hometown every moment becomes an occasion on their arrival; not to forget the festivals get their own charm when you don’t have to celebrate alone.

Today living in a township is embellished with a taste of monotony and loneliness. One barely finds time for another. If at all there are some connections in between people; then there’s always some unequal distance that cannot be travelled by their inner Ego’s because everyone here, has an identity that’s not reflected by their inner souls but more by the position and status they conduct in society.

The township plays a crucial role in the development of one’s psychological wellbeing where slowly and steadily the process of desensitization takes place. What happens behind the closed doors remains behind the closed doors, we do not want to get involved since we don’t know them, is the rule of the thumb and we go by that.

We tend to get ourselves busy and the feeling that we are not connected embeds deep into us, we connote this as a suitable technique for a hassle free and stress free survival in times like today where helping has become a hassle and being connected means putting up with another in every situation they face. This is the brutal reality that we counter everyday and realising and knowing it won’t make any difference, and many factors have contributed in its growth.

Maybe it’s not the township, it’s the people who have changed or this has been like this since eons and I am living it now.

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Feeling Lonely or Alone

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Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I was all happy and glee after i got married and settled with my hubby separately and away from my mum’s home that always bustled with the energy of my niece and nephew, And where work began before morning and i could never exactly figure out when will i end up in bed maybe past midnight or even more.

So suddenly i was all the more happy thinking now there’s no work and i can sleep, eat and freak at my own will but then came the loneliness, i could feel it even more because i have never been accustomed to living alone , i was always surrounded by people since school, college, work , home and i never felt like living without people was so difficult.

Because when i was living with them, all my life i felt like breaking away from them and taking sanyas and spending few years of my life alone before i get married and maybe not. I thought this many a times in my life because living in a family is not only the place where your parents, siblings and juniors influence you but also your immediate neighbors, relatives and even colleagues interfere a lot with your daily work and bread.

And so i waited and waited for my marriage to happen, the day ill be free to go on a living spree !

At first it looked nice and fresh since the honeymoon period was going on and all you think about is love and making love to my hubby. Then as the days go by i could feel an urge to go out and find work since i had left my job after marriage and moved to another city with him.

I kept exploring all possible options since working in a new place isn’t easy and there were language and cultural barriers, so i gave up looking for job and instead focused on myself thinking after all i had worked so much i must relax and enjoy doing nothing.

Days became months and months became a year, and this feeling of being alone even when we are both present hasn’t changed a bit, i wonder how do the other couples manage to live alone.I often convey my hubby about the random thoughts that cross my minds to alleviate these feelings of loneliness in me, like we must get his parents here to live with us, or that i will have at least 4 kids so that my home is always filled with noise and i keep watching little people crawling around .

He looks so much amused hearing all this but never denies me for doing anything even bringing my stupidest thoughts to reality and conforming them that they will be done.

All this and more hasn’t helped me a lot, this inner craving for people around has made me cry a lot and feel sad every time my parents, brother’s family and in laws visit me and come here to live with us for few days.

Their short duration visit’s make me even more vulnerable, i feel depressed and just cannot live alone and it get’s worse when my hubby has a tour which is for 2 or 5 days, i panic out and buy tickets immediately for home since i just cannot live by myself.

I don’t know why it happens but this need for attachment makes me weak and vulnerable, I am aware of my abilities and think am too strong to live alone and even handle everything in life ever since childhood since i have been brought up like that only, but what has happened now, something has changed in me and i cannot figure out what it is.

There’s nothing wrong externally, but everything that is wrong is internal, i have realized that soon after am left alone, when hubby goes to office or some tour my mind jumps around over the thoughts wagon and it turns on the sad mode where i think that now am alone, what next, what next, it goes around exploring bringing files and folders from past, when i was home around with everyone and how many times in my present home i felt elated to see my little nephew crawling around and how we all slept on the floor together over the mattresses in one room chatting all night.

It doesn’t stop anywhere it goes on and on, oscillating from one memory to another, all related to my being surrounded by people and constantly poking my conscious about the happiness factor that only happens when am with those people.

Now this has to stop, i cannot stop my thoughts though i can control them to some limits where i can consciously and deliberately attempt not to think about that at all and focus on the present moment like i now practice looking at the trees from my balcony ,read a book, focus on some TV serials, prioritize my thoughts and randomly select the ones that suits my present moment and upon the availability of the factors that will contribute and enhance them .

In totality the onus of changing thoughts is upon us, I am now aware that if you let these thoughts acquire you even starting from a single one, it will start a chain reaction and then you will be completely submerged into the sea of thoughts where it will become more difficult and harder to get out dry and alive. The thing is not to let even the slightest single thought affect or get onto you.

This way a lot of everyday problems can be handled, the feeling of loneliness or being alone is just one of them . Every problem is internally located somewhere in our mind, we have to deliberately find and fix the thoughts first its like debugging, to find and delete all the bad files first that corrupt the hardware that is our mind.

 

There’s No Heaven & Hell After Death, Its just Nothingness !

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We are Humans with bodies, that breathe to live and do all other life like activities that combine together to form and enrich our existence with experiences that are embellished with a variety of  emotions like joy,happiness, pain, sorrow, love, hate etc.

The emotions decorate our moments  namely into two distinct portions of Positive Or Negative experiences of which we largely hold onto remembering them or segregating them into much more variants of emotional experiences of our lives.

I believe to experience anything in life we need to be alive and  live in the moment, which means to Exist , to see it to believe it , for this we require our bodies,to experience,record and register those moments and then to re frame them and label them with emotions that we have during those moments .

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Image courtesy of lobster20 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here it is very important to acknowledge the fact that in order to experience and feel certain emotions of some moments we require our bodies , if we have no body which is alive then how can we experience anything at all .

And with this belief i cannot believe in the Concept of Heaven and Hell after Death which many of religions tell us about, because to experience the angels and life of heaven we still require senses that are trapped only inside a living body, and even to experience the hot fire of hell we still  require to have a body which feels pain upon being pricked by the devils of hell.

So We require a body to experience Heaven and Hell after death !

Actually the whole concept is very confusing because when we live we have a body and so we experience everything but as soon as we die we lose this body thus losing our senses to experience anything which is around us.

Death is Emptiness , its complete Shunyata (zero) after life, there is nothing to experience nor to feel , forget Heaven or even hell , there is nothing to make us happy or sad, there isn’t a body to feel anything. What is gone is gone forever , its just the soul that circulates around like a dust particle only in search of a body to enter and get back to life again.

And it happens automatically not even the soul is in search it happens by itself , because there has been no longing or desire to relieve its just a process that has to be completed by its own.

As long as we live we are are full of experience , the day we die we are just nothingness.

Simple is Not Equal To Happy Anymore !

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Little things don’t make me happy

Things not Grand make me so snappy

I care about nothing less than Me

It doesn’t even matter to me who’s he

Everything big, fat and visible

Ostensibly grand but not divisible

I wish to own a one or more

fit enough to engage and allure

Screaming desires haunt my ego

life’s a waste if lived incognito

Nothing less than Grand will do

Am I or I am Greedy says Who ?

Please see, only the pretentious assure

Simple is not equal to happy anymore

Entire being goes into accumulation

Transgressing the path of renunciation

Written by
Shilpi C. Sinha

Happiness

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Our Mind (psyche )is very naughty, it plays with us, it wanders , it goes from here to there, from home to office, from office to places Imageand keeps wandering , jumping here, there and everywhere. It is never still, it was never meant to be still,it was always like that, going around and coming around like a swing , it has its high’s and low’s .

It is never stable it is always in motion and so we are left in motion, moving with the flow of the mind, that carries our body with it, wherever it takes we go along, unknowing what it has to offer but we still go because after all its our mind that tells us and that controls us. we cannot do anything nor we can question what it wants or why it wants something, a thing even it sees that passes by like a new phone , a new car, or a new dress, it screams in our mind that YOU MUST HAVE IT , Why Not Own it !

We think we want it, so we begin to desire it, and finally it is our mind that tells us, we require it, but actually we don’t, we never realize its irrelevance until we have it, after a long struggle of pain tension, longing and forgoing almost every small and big happiness, for this particular thing,because we were waiting to be happy only the day we have it, that we always thought could make us really happy.

And so we begin to neglect everything in pursuit of this material that we never wanted since the beginning, but our mind said something, about its need, so we went after it, and all these days, months and years we wasted in getting that thing. And now we are used to the art of getting after things, living only for the big moments, small things no longer or never actually made us happy, even attempts by people around us to make happy shall go in vain, which is why people no longer matter to us. 

None of the relations make us happy, because we see in them our own reflection , as if they are also after something , something much greater than my own thing, as soon as we think this they become our competitors and thus they no longer remain close to us, they are our enemies , they are now part of the great competition. 

Slowly and Slowly life becomes more void, because now the mind craves even more, once you hold the thing you always wanted since years you move onto next , the value of this thing becomes Zero from the time you seize it . just think about this, for a moment, it doesn’t even matter now, how long can you enjoy it after all.

Again your mind sees a thing and starts wandering no longer the thing you got makes you happy , you remain more sad and more anxious and more worrying about your next goals, your next agenda’s or next thing you want to own, that you think would be ultimate source of happiness. 

It hardly happens because since the beginning you were not happy and the moment you saw that thing made you more unhappy and the pursuit , the journey made you even more unhappy inside, and now you are conditioned to remain unhappy for long, now nothing can be done to make you happy , even this thing you just bought after so many years of hard work fails to make you happy. 

You were always anxious, wandering and roaming around here and there , your mind was never still. had it been so it would just have been like the observer who sees the most awesome st of things in life but is hardly affected by them, nothing changes inside him, not even a nerve or a blink of eye . He remains the same goes on doing what he is doing, and is least moved by what he sees around. 

And the one who sees around but never gets involved with it, in his mind is the most happiest soul ever.

Written By 

SHILPI CHAUHAN SINHA

After all Its Not Necessary !

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After all Its Not Necessary !

Natural Health & Healing

Yesterday I asked this question to myself ID-100220506

Is this all really Necessary ? 

To get a job, to get enrolled for some course, to save money to buy house , to achieve something in life, to make more money, to have a baby as soon as possible , to have big dreams like buying a yacht and a penthouse and doing something in life that is remarkable and something that would make people around me say WOW , and then seeing their expression would make me happy, happy as in real happy i guess.

Its clear, Is this all really necessary , i mean we only do certain things to feel happy and proud only when others are there to see them around who would cheer us, greet us , congratulate us, and work for us or just please us. Isn’t this true !

Imagine there is only you on…

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We Cannot Please Everyone !

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We Cannot Please Everyone !

Natural Health & Healing

First Understand this :

” yeh duniya tumhare baap ki nahin hai aur naahi tum is duniya ke thekedaar ho ”

( this world is not owned by your dad nor you’re the master of this world)

then why worry so much…?

I have wasted almost 1/3rd of my life in pleasing other’s actually by doing what other’s perceive is acceptable and appreciable. And to this day even after realizing that i cannot make everyone happy and if others have to REMAIN unhappy i really cannot be their clown forever trying to make them smile, for am not even getting PAID for that. then why the hell should i even try.

One must know that you only got this life which is at your hand , yes this life the very moment now that you are ID-10020806breathing , this is your’s its you and everything around is about you

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