Tag Archives: future

Imagination is No Cure

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Every second and every moment of that second am not feeling good , I live in a state of loss , blank, depressed , sad , weak, unable to talk , eat or sleep.

I am not able to comprehend the fact that am so unable to enjoy the happiness of being married and the new life that succeeds, there’s absolutely no problem , people around me are putting good efforts to let me in and give space enough to adjust and live thoroughly.

But I feel like a culprit unable to control my emotions , tears immediately crawl down my face and spread the sadness in me and around me , where my hubby continuously tries to make me calm down even though he is tired and affected by office work , he still loves me and cares for me very much.

I feel guilty for not being able to adapt and accept my present, for am clinging to much to my family at home in Delhi and the longing continuous to grow inside me with every passing day, its just the feeling of being so far away from them that makes me burst into tears, the thought that am no longer with them makes me feel lonely and depressed.

Having been with them for the past 26 years ive never been to hostel, tuitions or any other place away from them not even the relatives or friends night out’s etc . so it makes things more difficult, located into such a different state not being able to meet or see them often makes me choke inside. Had I been located there, then at least i could have had some satisfaction that I can go or they can come to see me and life could have been all pleasant.

But what’s at hand needs to be tackled and imagination is no longer a cure for me now , as I go on thinking like there’s a park near our society I imagine my niece playing on its swings , then I imagine my mother sleeping beside me on my bed , it really makes things even more worse, the fact that am not accepting the reality is breaking me down and even not making things any good for my married life.

Am not interested in anything , I just go about the daily rituals , the daily life chores etc and not even talk or discuss anything with my hubby , it pains me and deeply saddens me when he leaves home for work in the morning , I feel guilty for he remains tensed to see me in such a state day in and day out, so my mental state is making my married life not any good.

Am unable to figure out what will I do to overcome all this mental sadness and longingness. All my wishes , desires, confidence, interests and tastes are becoming numb day after day. I don’t know where to look for help now .

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Rebellious Hope Beyond Personalized Failure

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Every genre of life holds some kind of productive roots that need to be harnessed in order to sustain for life and better livelihood to keep cycle of life consistent. For a human, its quite unimaginable to think about a life that is absent of materialism.The pursuit of this powerful yet significant source ( money) for life is ruthless and impinges upon the life so much that without it one can barely live the act of living.

The insatiable human life that never cease’s to desire materialism, hardly has any space left for spiritual conscious growth that could pose as a great escape for some who breath their last breath of soot in misfortune as their endless failures never ended.

For some failure is the end of experiments but for me failure is a beautiful concept that reminds me of my existence, am alive and in action and that I am making full use of every breath of mine. And i never fail to happen be it for countless failures or little spells of chance success. life is as much you and i know about it with past present and future attributed around two words success or failures but we fail to see beyond these two dictionary words.

It is unexpected of any human to detach them self from the life they have today, with so much of happening around them, since childhood school to their adulthood offices, life is full of events, emotions etc. whatever has happened in the past or whatever will happen in the future, we all try to personalize them and include those events of the past to the present moment and even attach the present shaping to suit it best for the future.

In the process we stop realizing the present which is all today the very moment we live in, we care so much about the failures the mistakes the events that happened that it begin to shape our future through our present moments of pondering over the past, thinking it shouldn’t happen again in the future we keep ruining and playing with the present.

The future has innumerable opportunities that the present may not know, the lack of awareness of the future is a blessing i believe as the graph of life is never a line, its rhythmic and this is a sign that we should have rebellious hope to do our work till the end whatever be the outcome let it remain, let it hold, but never stop the action.

Failures often leave us down and disappointed and even hopeless so much that we choose to quit action or some may even quit their lives, because again the matter is how you take the failures . There can be intermittent or consistent failures in life , if you ask me, i have consistent failures that i never personalize.

Because the day you begin to personalize with the failures its the day you cease to act anymore. Be it one or endless failures it should never let you stop, rather be rebellious having hope not for success or winning but hope that you shall continue despite these failures even if it happen time and again .

To hope in misery is to be rebel, to hope life in death is rebel, Hope is an endless rebellion towards life that even failure is natural and so is the hope that should never end. Hope is just not a factor or a word if you term it like that then the failure is just a word defined for a thing, idea, or event that went wrong not the way you planned.

I believe that these terms like, failure, mistakes, devastated  depressed, death, divorce, pain, ruined etc are becoming more symbolic and full of imagery the moment you think of them whereas the positive words like being happy, love,hope, faith, never give up, belief  etc are becoming more abstract because we can barely find any of the events describing them in our imagination when we are only going through the above negative terms that heavily sits and eat up our conscious.

which is why more and more people are becoming sad and full of disappointing because the ones they seek approval from or even look up for positivism are themselves full of negativity in and around them. we actually have lost our innate capacity to harness our own energy for being positive and its hard to do that mechanical work now of rebuilding.

The more practical answer to failures is then only the rebellious hope for this you need not change your mental setup of all positive and spirituality because i know its very hard to do it, even i cannot pull myslef from thinking negative so many times but the thing i always practice is this incessant hope i keep which becomes more and more rebellious with every failure that i encounter.

It has made me hard and courageous and so much that am least affected by life, am more able to enjoy small moments of happiness i dont long for big ones and i enjoy small things like eating the left piece of cake, or cooking some noodle, playing with my niece, or watching my Favorite songs. I no longer wait but i still move and act and i dont give up on action in life for there’s nothing to loose till the time you’re alive play with life.

Happy New Year 2013

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Happy New Year 2013 to you and your family, I wish God holds your hand to guide your way to health, happiness and protect you and your loved ones throughout the journey of life. On this New year’s Eve lets resolve to be more Conscious and follow our Conscience for our future and generations to come.

Best Regards

NO : Future of Opportunities

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‘NO’ is the most famous and luxurious word in the vocabulary of human’s who can easily exercise it as and when required or desired.
The word ‘No’ carries lot of perks and prosperity with it, that help the person who addresses this word, does so to avoid or devoid someone of his /her interests and rest the case for themselves.

Saying ‘No’ often brings disgrace and disrespect for the people who do not back down for anyone looking for approvals against their own interests. And its often mistaken as the person may be considered rude or manner less or devoid of emotions, and those at the receiving end might feel the heat of being ignored or turned down and may accumulate unhealthy feelings in their hearts.

The person holding the ‘No’ position remains the same though, with peace and guilt unanimously, but the person who hears a ‘No’ bears the brunt of disapproval and apathy for life and may generalize his/her feeling if they get to hear it repetitively even from their friends and family.
Hearing a ‘No’ and turning down opinions affects the mental and emotional sanity of a person and he/she may get disheartened soon .

In the above situation one thing is for certain that ‘No’ and actually the person saying it is are not bound to change since no has flavour of its own and since No is so arrogant and professional in nature we continuously fail in the process of bringing change to it.
On a very rational note when things are clear and unchangeable then its our immediate responsibility for using ‘ and misusing ‘No’ quite certainly.
‘No’ can accommodate various kinds of tones with it, a polite no, a simple no, a rude no, or an angry no but we look as No is a No is a No.

However, this ‘No’ must be misused judiciously since it has s bundle of opportunities with it and should be seen as thd harbinger of good things that need to be observed, life comes with lot of disappintments and disapprovals and it is true that it never remains the same and is bound to change .
Here are plenty of people across the globe who have suffered a lot of disapprovals in their life and in almost every sphere be it professional or personal and they still had the potential to change and turn things around them to create a space for them to be approved and respected for their views and ideology. 

To look at ‘No’ in a positive light we can attribute it to the of opportunities that awaits one, where so many ideas, proposals, needs and decisions are disapproved but one should explore the facets of exercising these in his/her own fashion to get them implemented. Its again not easy as it seems but not impossible as it may look to be, rather than sitting all life with disappointment and disgust one can discover novel opportunities for his/her future to undergo changes and prove themselves.

The art to change this no into an opportunity zone comes only through a deep reflection of your views that one may think are important enough and need to be recognized by the others. Its not that disapproval from one or many, becomes an end in itself. If a person wants to revolutionize with time, then everything is subject to change and even the faces we meet change as we begin to move beyond ‘No’. 

Its never the end, where disapproval brings discomfort it also triggers observation and challenge us to change and spark revolution within ourself.  

Revolution Begins with Small Wonders !

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My Classroom Kids

 A general sense of thoughts that accommodate certain feelings and ultimately embellishes my thoughts for an emotional upheaval that thrives inside out only to instigate a revolutionary cause .

The forte of my present situation dwells upon my past and has a great bearing on my present life.

I can casually revert back to my school days, as I remember for once raising my hand among so many students on being asked the question,

“who wants to be a teacher” ?

I knew, it wasn’t certain at that time and was just a passing thought that saw its way out in a fragment of time. And I was somewhat embarrassed too having raised my hand all alone when i looked to my right and left and back altogether. Gosh ! That passed.

But, when the time came to opt a course and career, god was so gracious to supply me with the best of choices to decide. Its a noble thing altogether that he who sits in heaven has given this wonderful gift of choice, and so i made it, to be a teacher and pursued my training for the same.

Sometimes i reflect upon the notion that now am to be in the league of the one’s who shape the future of our nation which will culminate in its classrooms. But i still couldn’t believe that what i am doing will create a mark or not and will it change my attitude towards this field or not .

Being part of today’s Generation i doubted about this as much as you would, in a world where there’s so much professionalism and corporate life exuberance that attracts and hugs it every time one has no other alternative but to think and contradict, and at the same time i thought that teaching profession, was sure infallible in words and praises, but hardly influences the generation today due to small incentives and lacks glamour quotient.

All this was past, when i became part of this profession and entered the threshold of the classrooms with “buzzing sounds, unconditioned smiles, silly giggles, dreamy eyes, sleepy lips, clutching hands, open fingers, and beautiful voice, where the eyes follow to approach and hold someone in nearby surroundings.

All this made my insolent perceptions fall irrelevant in view of my vicarious experience with these, thought before, but unimaginable moments of complete unselfish love coming straight from God’s heart. Id be a fool to let go of this moment and should cling on to it, as much, to get this love and give the same to those who will cherish it all time.

And believe me am glad i chose it and became part of this profession now Am the Katrina Kaif, Aishwarya Rai, and Kareena Kapoor of my kids , they love me and i have never found such unconditional love before, i love teaching and training them for life and being as much with them as i can, guiding them, partying with them, eating with them, playing with them, joking with them, and sharing their dreams and aspirations is just awesome feeling out of this world.

Every child i see is full of innocence fluttering with wings every now and then just to break free from those four apathetic walls which suffocate their freedom, though seeming meaningful for others but for them its as much a crime unforgivable and their world inconsolable .The schools are devoid of many facilities but its not deprived of teachers who can fulfill for almost everything that’s missing, moreover the utmost need of love, care and guidance by holding hands with the kids and make them happy before teaching.

As i reflect more i think there’s much more missing, something that can help these kids even more in life. And i think what could it be,the more i pondered over i thought that quality and fruitful education and activities can let them explore the opportunities to make it to higher classes or schools even on behalf of those kids who could not make it even this far for primary education.

A system of education that is lead by heart and soul by the teachers who nurture all round development of the kids and let them cherish life of self reliance and getting active for their rights and even for those who are around them.

This world is ever growing and demanding its needs every hour that our children should carry their innocence on the chest of conscience that equips them with the armory of sustainability of all kinds, for every situation and not become a prey due to absence of basic education.

All these thoughts accommodate for one cause, that, the teacher is the person who can make all the difference by giving a fragment of his/her life for these small wonder’s who are not left alone to fend for themselves but to achieve and realize their dreams.