Tag Archives: family

Going Rituals : Explore Spirituality with Cow’s Dung

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Recently i went to my mom’s place for the puja and ceremonies that were to be performed by me ,being the new born baby’s Aunt. These rituals are mostly done in the hindu families where the child is born and more rituals are followed where we have a baby boy born into the family unlike little things done when a girl is born but there are many liberal families where ceremonies are performed with happiness and joy even on the birth of a baby girl.

So we had a lot of ceremonies accompanied with kirtan nights for almost 7 days  that were full of songs and dance , along this there was loads of work for me specially i had to forgo my expectations of being specially treated or greeted on arriving home few months after my marriage . hahahaha. well i never expect that, and my mom straight away directed me for work i had to do and all the other things to be taken care of, specially by me.

So the rituals started with functions, first was putting satiyas (卐 Swastik symbol) is an auspacious hindu symbol to bring good fortune and luck with them, i made those on the dholak to begin with the kirtans ( song and dance) . Another thing i’d like to tell you is that i cannot do without the satiyas puja ,Trust me without satiyas, i cannot start anything new , even on buying a new gas oven i put satiyas with haldi mixed in water or be it for the new laptop i just make them . So the dholak pujan was done by putting haldi swastikas on both side of the dholaks and then playing it and singing few songs with old ladies with the Dholak Feet  😉 …

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It was followed by prashad and food arranged at the terrace by putting tents and chairs for the relatives and neighbors who’d come for the lunch but due to heavy rains the tents got wet and we had to arrange everything inside the room but it was all the more fun and everyone enjoyed the food and rain together. here are some snaps of the event.

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All this was good fun with  the overload of so much work i had to run up and down three floors taking care of guests , my sister in law her baby and my mother who just cannot do without mixing up all the work  and going crazy on such occasions due to management and a lot of mis management of work .

But for me “vue” was like a relief ,as we call him all my tiredness and lethargy went away taking him in my arms i walked in the   veranda all night and day singing to him and swinging him in my arms,we still  haven’t decided with the name for him and so we call him, vue, Illa, Inga, Inge, tushu . Illa And Inga because when he cries it sounds as if the wailing sound is ILLAAAAA  ILAAAA and now its INGAAAAA INGAAAEE.  Lolz so that’s how the names originated.

And now we had the keeping of satiyas this thing was completely new to me as well , i had imagined doing it on the wall with haldi , chandan or kumkum, but never imagined doing it with the Cow’s Dung (gobar) .

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As i got over with this, that ok, i have to dig my hands into that polythene bag in which the glorious cow dung was stored for me.  anyhow it seemed ok no worries i will do it i know how to make a swastika its easy ,but then it was not just the satiya ,what frightened me was the things i had to draw on the wall with bare hands and thick cow dung  more intricate designs that can not be wrongly done . to inspect me i had 3 to 4 old ladies and the bunch of middle aged women looking at me seriously. I had to make very specific designs and it was like a test to my artistry skills though am not that good in arts . as if this wasn’t enough to put me through grill and grind one more test was insert a thin long stick of grain that should not break or damage in the process into the satiyas. whewwww. Time to put the dung into action .

And not just that it was one design but there were two walls beside the door which had to had two different designs i completed one thought it was over but then here comes the women in blue my grandma saying ” ek aur banana hai chori abhi se ke thak ri hai ” ( O  Girl you’re tired already , you have to make one more ). Ok no problem ill do it and so i made one more and now this was a lot more easy i thought but actually both designs were as difficult as i never thought.

 

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Actually some may give out an eww or aikk at the sound of cow dung but i take it as the most divine and spiritual encounter to place my hands into that warm cold moist cow dung its something more than that it connects me with smells of village and more ethnic side of me , had i been in the village i could decorate the walls and floors with it as they actually do it still today. Cow dung is so holy and so divine that we use it for the most holy rituals ,forget marriage what more is divine and sacred than the birth of a new life in which we use it and its so important just like the holy mother cow or GAU MATA as we call her.

 

I would just love to share an instance that my uncle or mamaji (my mothers brother) told us when they used to live in the village before coming to city and settling here to make new wealth and riches that he has now. He said that in the village there were no lights or fans, coolers for the summer seasons and thus the ground got all heated up, and it was impossible to keep your feet cool even with water as the matka’s ( earthern pots ) couldn’t cool water as much as the refrigerators do nowadays , so what he did like the other friends, was that he would put his feet into the cow dung and stand there for hours feeling cool, relaxed and refreshed .

Imagining him doing this now it just cant be he’s a big man now literally, but id love to put my feet into the cow dung to feel that warmth and good am blessed i could do it with my hands still. Its such a spiritual experience only who will do it, can explore it.

Here’s some picture of those designs i made with cow dung , haldi, wheat stick, wheat flour .

The Nights were full of fun and dance with all the ladies from our neighborhood dancing and singing songs . Some snaps of those too

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So I miss my home now as am back home with my hubby , couldn’t be there for some more days just a week as i longed for my hubby too being there, he missed me every day and so i cut short my visit and came back to him . I am blessed to have such a wonderful family here and there . i wish there come’s a time when i could have both families just a mile away rather than being mile’s away.

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Imagination is No Cure

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Every second and every moment of that second am not feeling good , I live in a state of loss , blank, depressed , sad , weak, unable to talk , eat or sleep.

I am not able to comprehend the fact that am so unable to enjoy the happiness of being married and the new life that succeeds, there’s absolutely no problem , people around me are putting good efforts to let me in and give space enough to adjust and live thoroughly.

But I feel like a culprit unable to control my emotions , tears immediately crawl down my face and spread the sadness in me and around me , where my hubby continuously tries to make me calm down even though he is tired and affected by office work , he still loves me and cares for me very much.

I feel guilty for not being able to adapt and accept my present, for am clinging to much to my family at home in Delhi and the longing continuous to grow inside me with every passing day, its just the feeling of being so far away from them that makes me burst into tears, the thought that am no longer with them makes me feel lonely and depressed.

Having been with them for the past 26 years ive never been to hostel, tuitions or any other place away from them not even the relatives or friends night out’s etc . so it makes things more difficult, located into such a different state not being able to meet or see them often makes me choke inside. Had I been located there, then at least i could have had some satisfaction that I can go or they can come to see me and life could have been all pleasant.

But what’s at hand needs to be tackled and imagination is no longer a cure for me now , as I go on thinking like there’s a park near our society I imagine my niece playing on its swings , then I imagine my mother sleeping beside me on my bed , it really makes things even more worse, the fact that am not accepting the reality is breaking me down and even not making things any good for my married life.

Am not interested in anything , I just go about the daily rituals , the daily life chores etc and not even talk or discuss anything with my hubby , it pains me and deeply saddens me when he leaves home for work in the morning , I feel guilty for he remains tensed to see me in such a state day in and day out, so my mental state is making my married life not any good.

Am unable to figure out what will I do to overcome all this mental sadness and longingness. All my wishes , desires, confidence, interests and tastes are becoming numb day after day. I don’t know where to look for help now .

Does it matter where Positivism come’s from ?

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We talk about being positive, having positive attitude and positive approach towards life.

Today Positivism has filled every corner of our life its there at the work or in our home, where the need and demand is growing at a very fast pace just as the technology is making our live’s vulnerable and stressful. The global life of an average person is being run over by stress , confusion, crises, tension, unfulfilled needs, desires complexities, problems, pain, suffering, and delusions that has become more or less an identity if that very person.

  For Instance , If we have a person who is every day ranting about his promotion at the work place, this person’s identity becomes  different unlike his skill or name he might be called as Mr. promotion or a real example about a women ( here  one of my friend ) who loves to splurge and go after brand shopping, it were no problem if she kept all that to herself rather pulling us who cannot spend so much and looks down upon us, for this i actually gave her a name i.e Ms Price Tag. 

There is nothing to ridicule about such people by assigning them names and they happen to be everywhere among our friends,  family, relatives, acquaintances etc who they are or how they relate to us is not the problem but the problem is that their goodness hides behind these over expressive attitudes and becomes extinct in wake of such behavior which is so frequent and predictable that none can expect anything else other than what they actually do everyday.

And Since this becomes the routine, it gets much harder to change or break such attitudes that stem from problems itself, because every kind of problematic attitude has origin that was first limited to that person and gradually spreads around as attitudinal problem that was formed to overcome the problem but happens to become more complicated. Such people are then stereotyped and named and the same notions are passed on to others even the new members who come in to their contact.

Everything that was positive or could be positive or explored positive fades out and even deteriorates with time. It is very important to prick the attitudinal balloon right away at the right time before it inflates and spreads and start acquiring space. The task is pretty hard and gigantic but still some can lead to make efforts in the right direction with right attitude. It really pains me a lot when the person is prejudged for his/her behavior on the basis of observation or the information provided by others around them.

So it becomes relevant in view of the above consequences to bring change among the people in question who may not readily agree to accept the harshness they carry in their attitude or that something they do affects the mental setup of the other people around them.  And thus it becomes next to impossible that anyone can bring change to them, for if we begin to try they might never agree to it and will investigate about the source of positivity that is coming from me or you for that matter.

But we cannot cease to look for change and bring out the goodness in them even if they abhor us for doing so. Because even we are not complete perfectionist or having really really good behavior, we have our fair share of mistakes and problems that we carry along and so it becomes difficult.

Its only if we can create a balance and complete positive outlook about ourselves first even if we are ignored, deprived, or  hated for some period but then if we keep gauging and encouraging the other person’s goodness to bring it out more in conversations and actions in front of the other people as well and get it all reinforced from others too, we can very well change the problematic attitude.