The Unapproachable

“Why people seem to be unapproachable, is it because i think that they will ignore me or even say no in my face or is it my Ego that doesn’t let me reach”

By shilpi

Is it the township or the people ?

After few months of joy we started feeling very lonely. Nobody visits us, nor we are invited anywhere. There are no weddings to attend and even no parties. In clubs and malls there still remains this feeling of being alone even after seeing so many faces eating under the same roof but over different tables. We hardly know anyone, talking is out of context altogether.

There are highs and lows of living in a township, I never thought I would be here after living in suburban colony, it seemed as a new light but this light was dim and dull unlike the local colonies that always had a bright spark about them.

Not to mention the people; here in township are not very warm and not very gentle, though I cannot conclude much about this, since I haven’t talked to any in particular but every person carry an aura around them, and I tend to sense that along with the vibrations when they walk around me. I hardly find anyone approachable enough to start a conversation and the once that may be, my bad luck; I haven’t had their vibrations felt as yet.

It feels very lonely when you’re on your own even when you have a family you still feel out of place, because living in your hometown is much different than living in a township that too miles away. There are hardly any relatives and friends around whereas in your hometown every moment becomes an occasion on their arrival; not to forget the festivals get their own charm when you don’t have to celebrate alone.

Today living in a township is embellished with a taste of monotony and loneliness. One barely finds time for another. If at all there are some connections in between people; then there’s always some unequal distance that cannot be travelled by their inner Ego’s because everyone here, has an identity that’s not reflected by their inner souls but more by the position and status they conduct in society.

The township plays a crucial role in the development of one’s psychological wellbeing where slowly and steadily the process of desensitization takes place. What happens behind the closed doors remains behind the closed doors, we do not want to get involved since we don’t know them, is the rule of the thumb and we go by that.

We tend to get ourselves busy and the feeling that we are not connected embeds deep into us, we connote this as a suitable technique for a hassle free and stress free survival in times like today where helping has become a hassle and being connected means putting up with another in every situation they face. This is the brutal reality that we counter everyday and realising and knowing it won’t make any difference, and many factors have contributed in its growth.

Maybe it’s not the township, it’s the people who have changed or this has been like this since eons and I am living it now.

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No Replacement for “Maa”

For a couple of months i have focused a lot of attention to some posts i read on Facebook and other social media sites that cite requirement for, a full time care giver or a baby sitter for mother’s and working parents .
They ask for their babies ranging in the age group of as little as 4 months old up to 18 months and older than this can be kept in day care center or creches.

The growing need for extra income , more comfort and putting education to use in order to feel liberated and satisfying our own self, ego and identity has lead to this whole situation  where the ones who actually suffer in all this are the babies.

“Those eyes that keep longing to see their mother, those arms that constantly reach out in vain to grab and hold on to their mothers chest. Those continuous hand and leg movements that continously fight to reach to their mother. The movement of the mouth with lips and tongue that long to kiss and suck onto their mothers breast .
Those cries and yells for mother to come back go in vain”.

As if no body understands them but who are we lying to here we do understand very clearly that baby needs mother and nothing more than his very own mother that bore him inside her for 9 months and he can’t recognize anyone other than her mother where has she gone ?

My heart ached as i again go through the above description, why the little souls have to suffer so much just because they cannot speak or say no or that they can easily forget the pain of l their longing and suffering of the day and forget everything the moment they see their mother.

Why ?

Necessity is one thing that i can understand for anything other than that doesn’t go through my head every explanation is an excuse in front of the child that keeps longing and waiting to see her mother.

For no other person than his/her own mother can provide anything .
Actually there’s no replacement for a thing called maa.
The newborns and some months old babies cannot even speak and god forbid if anything happens to them at the hands of the person you leave them to in care of can one forgive themselves in such conditions.

Am shocked and aghast to see how can people trust for their precious ones. We keep money and gold in utmost safe places, be it best banks or best brand safes and lockers.

And when we need a care giver or an Aaya for baby there’s no brand or best for that. More over we blindly give in with our trust in few minutes of meeting that person because time is running out and we need to get back to work soon.

I personally think when we can already have a decent life in the income of one person that can be any one mother or father then what is the need for the other one to work for.

The point is why should the child suffer or let me put it this way why should you miss the golden years of your baby who is just beginning to bloom and grow and learn and experience new things of life.

No amount of money property or your own liberation can measure up to the amount of pain your baby goes through by just not seeing you around him.

For job and money can have their own time when she or he begins for school or is some years old to be able to put to use some life skills .

Babies and kids who cannot express themselves are very vulnerable beings, don’t  let them to care of a person you haven’t spent some years with. It is important to learn human psychology people are great actors they are different in front of you and completely different in your absence.

You just can’t trust nor leave him with her alone . that’s it !

And even if a child is sble to speak but can’t  express just because he was warned scared and scarred for not letting out that secret .

What can one do?

Simple “IF THERE’S NO NEED THEN DON’T LEAVE YOUR BABY”

Am equally sorry and angry at the condition of today’s world where parents willingly leave their small wonders for everything small in this world.

If you feel bad after reading my post apologies to you but i just can’t see babies crying for their mothers .
It literally tears my heart when i see their teary eyes longing for their mothers. It is worst thing to see a baby crying all day for his mom.

To sit back home and becoming a full time mom is a thing am proud of i don’t need a shit job to liberate myself or create my identity.
I am enlightened enough to appreciate life and the life i have created and lives that surround me by being happy from within.

Simple is Not Equal To Happy Anymore !

Little things don’t make me happy

Things not Grand make me so snappy

I care about nothing less than Me

It doesn’t even matter to me who’s he

Everything big, fat and visible

Ostensibly grand but not divisible

I wish to own a one or more

fit enough to engage and allure

Screaming desires haunt my ego

life’s a waste if lived incognito

Nothing less than Grand will do

Am I or I am Greedy says Who ?

Please see, only the pretentious assure

Simple is not equal to happy anymore

Entire being goes into accumulation

Transgressing the path of renunciation

Written by
Shilpi C. Sinha

Marriage : An Everlasting Intention

Traditional Indian Wedding Image

What is the first thing that comes to your mind on hearing this word Marriage ?

Probably joy, elation, feelings of attachment to someone who would be there every time and everyday with you and is meant just for you, with the one you’ll rise every morning and go to bed every night, with whom you can share everything about your world and that is in your world which become our world .

Again the above thoughts are restricted for the first timers, i hope i make myself clear when i say this because it aches me to write an explanation for what i actually mean by first timers , or the fresh ones. Actually I don’t want to get acknowledged each day or to remind even you that its another one or am the second timer and i have no such thoughts as i expressed above.

The definition or the contributing thoughts that surround this word marriage for me now have changed immensely and its nothing like sharing – caring or great honeymoons or candle light dinners anymore .

I feel that the actual realization that has happened to me now should happen to everyone, the first or the second timers that is marriage is not only about the display of what  ‘I’ feel so that the other spouse whose ‘I” is less than mine should fulfill all the desires i have leaving himself or herself behind where gradually with time ‘I’ grows and monotony sets in for the other and conflicts happen where the other feels left out as his/her desires remain unfulfilled and even unexplored. therefore there should be continuous effort to explore the ‘we’ desires more and give space to fulfill the ‘I’ desires alone all by yourself unburdening the other for their fulfillment.

I think marriage is more about giving solutions rather than understanding the problems of the relationship, we often develop our reactions on pre assumptions, stereotypical thoughts about the other as we always think that “I KNOW him or her so its nothing different today”, emotional assessment of the situation how it affected me , ego outbursts, etc. when there’s some issue or conflict we are tangled in the problem so much that we only understand the problem and forget about the solution or the other things to weigh and value ‘my’ emotional hurt and my suffering much more than the problem, leaving no space for the solution . So its actually creating more problem , one must remain conscious to find solutions of the problem rather accumulating more of it.

I feel that when you are in a relationship or married it is important to always be aware of emotions that lead to major disasters, because it always happens that “I’ was hurt, my feelings were hurt, i wasn’t cared for, i was left alone, i was cheated, i was ignored all these feelings are natural and may or may not be caused by the other, so its always important to inquire that is it actually caused by the other,or  if its exaggerated, or how intense are these feelings, do you encourage them more. one must ascertain all these factors before breaking out from home or breaking the relationship.

marriage is about two people coming together to share their lives so its always important for the two of them to keep others at bay even their own family, friends and relatives when things concerned with their relationship are at stake, for that reason no decisions should be left to either of family members as it should done by the mutual agreement of the two and the couple must see that they are not intensely guided or lead by their families so much that it leads to conflicts and disagreement among them, after all its them who are in the middle of everything and its their life and nothing should affect or come in between their relationship to destroy their harmony.So a married couple should know who should they follow and lead by and remain conscious in their decisions and life roles.

The intention and thinking matters as much as the responsibilities and freedom in the marriage, where everyone has some prerequisite information that there are certain things which need to be followed in a marriage, some responsibilities and that there has to be equal space and freedom too even when all things are ‘meant’ to be shared, these are well common notions that everyone knows, but what I stress more upon, is the ‘Intention’ that goes into marriage when issues arise, in case of “what ifs” like the other doesn’t fulfill the responsibilities  or the other requires more space and time alone , gives priority to his/her career or goals more than ‘me’ or ‘my  home’ or ‘my family’, in  such cases disputes happen, so its important to eliminate these disputes by disclosing your intentions to continue with the marriage and relation no matter what happens , to reassure the other about your thinking and that these issues are very temporary and the factors harming the other are merely pretending to do so because the actual mindset with which you are into this marriage is only the truth that the other must know rest is fake and sublime.

A couple in the marriage or relationship must stand with each other in every problem or distress and must support each other with everything, for marriage is not only joy-some togetherness rather its assimilation and accommodation of  both the worlds that come in form of two human beings to come together to be identified as one whole .

AN EGO-LESS SPIRIT

THE MIND OF AN EGO-LESS SPIRIT

Mind of an Ego less spirit.

We are known for WHO we are,

And not for WHAT we are

Why shouldn’t we try?

To become Ego-less,

Then to see not judge

The people, for not who they are

But for, what they are

To think and believe the Ego-less spirit

You need an empty mind

Bring the thoughts in,Filter each one

 and then Let enter.

To think the best, for what you feel out

for the person before you and the person in you

Take him out for some stroll

Relax and do some talk on some undisputed cause,

Shell out the best And remember it needn’t have any clause

Then Splurge into the sea,of pride so divine

where Ego thrives in abyss

You can reveal your True self,

on the sea In the boat of happiness

Out on the shore you come at last,

Knowing what person you are 

you can be and believe your self

no more for who you were or are.

Imagination : A Divine Cure

Hope is a beautiful thing, it encourages and inspires the imagination within you to see and dream all good that should happen in your life. it gives you the wings to keep faith alive and your spirits high even after seeing and going through all darkness in life events, one feels good again that one day, there will be light. 

Dreams and imagination see no bounds, no borders or boundaries, they jump, leap and bounce over, go ahead to keep moving, all this happens to keep you alive and happy.

Imagination holds such richness that embodies and bold ens the realms of the inner self that dances freely as if no one sees, and really none can see what you imagine with eyes open or closed. 

Isn’t it a beautiful thing that nourishes and encourages you within yourself without the help of anyone else, you help yourself have the innate inbuilt strength to pick up the broken pieces that you fix and fit in your imaginative thoughts. It empowers and strengthens the pure self leaving the ego aside .

The self is cherished where, you be how you want and what you want to be like, the way you see yourself midst different situations and how you feel at peace and comfort with those fragments of glorious thoughts that brightens you with peaceful smiles and contentment that everything is good about life and for that moment there’s nothing you need to worry about. 

The imagination holds the key to keep living life consistently, because if it were not like this then there would have been numerous attempts of suicides and depression cases around the world and no wonder whole of the planet would have been filled with people with pessimists and negative thoughts and attitudes. Imagination helps to counter the weak and bleak spots of life that ruins and disintegrates a persons inner mental set.

Imagination helps and gives the fresh appeal to the mind that lifts you up from the sad real situation and lets you dwell in the situations that you find in goodness and love or even the situations that make you feel good and loved. it helps to change and reset the past and make it happen as you want it to be, where you feel right about what you could do consciously.

Conscious efforts in thoughts helps you to be at peace where you are able to do the right things at right time and you feel great for having the positiveness reconnected to your soul where it lets you to reflect upon the divinity that resides within you.

Imagination is a cure arranged by god within our mental frame that helps us to relive life after every bad so that we do not succumb to life situations and keep living with hope and faith that only comes through Imagining about great things that should happen to us in life.

So keep that imagination going on, for every thing you desire starts with your own imagination.