Near Death Experience or just a Dream?!

I was really sick soon after I shifted from mumbai to kolkata for almost 2 months, with terrible stomach infection, body ache, and IBS, lost 7 kgs within those 2 months.

I don’t know if I had a near death experience when before going to sleep after sufferring terrible pain and shivering cold in hot n humid kolkata weather all day, and only after having medicines the pain subsided and I could sleep. It was on that very night I had experienced this and remember it very vividly.

I experienced my husband, my child and myself in a really huge water park, with no other human there. The water park could be the size of 2 or 3 football fields, it was pitch dark with only 1 light in the middle of a yellow steel rectangular shaped space built right in the middle of that water park, there were no other water rides, or activity. Only water and in the middle a rectangular yellow steel framed space to climb up or rest.

I had a thought that we 3 had come together but I was continuously searching for them moving around that rectangular steel frame. I kept moving in search of my child and husband and I could clearly see there was no one in that water park except me in completely dark n ill lighted space.

My heart was throbbing fast, I could sense it, and suddenly I clung to the yellow pole of that rectangular steel frame and this was the time I began rising upwards like a air ballon, I did not struggle much and left the pole and floated in straight up direction where I saw the water park clearly shrinking in size as I moved up and up slowly.

It was dark all around in air , no clouds and I think I was just 500 mtrs or little more above the surface of that water park. It was darkness all around that was frightening and fear took over as I struggled to fall down back into the water, but the more I struggled to move down, the little I floated up and more up, then I stopped all movements and realized I was mid air, stuck mid air.

It was darkness all around , no clouds, no stars, nothing. Just water park with little dot of light and dark space all around me. I did not look up, I looked around only that I remember.

It was then when I had stopped to struggle I was no longer in fear or uncertainity. I knew there was nothing coming to me or nothing happening to me from here, I was just hanging, floating mid aIr with eyes to see everywhere and it was only darkness.

There was nothing coming to harm me or nothing pulling me down or taking me up. It was the most saddest or painful situation to be where there was nothing.

Only nothing was with me with eyes open to darkness all around.

I don’t know if this is a near death experience or not but the space I was in, there was nothing to do or go away from. Into darkness a place where you could take nothing or get nothing.

Only mystery, not even peace or fear after all that.

One could be stuck there forever for eternity.

Original Experience ©️

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Sweet Nothingness

Now I am a complete homemaker, doing all the household chores and actually loving it, we have relocated to this new place and am liking it alot , it seems,  if just two people live under a roof there are so many things to explore and care for rather living with many people and just caring for self.

I like this life and completely in love with the amount of free time and space, its like a dream come true , for what i had always been waiting for , this is what i wanted all the time when i was busy all day doing my job , studies and home tasks. But now its a whole lot of freedom , with no studies no job and no framework for work .

Life is moving really nice and i can feel and sense the time that never flies rather its slow and steady and seems to me that its just what one requires in life that he she doesn’t need to run with time rather wait for the time to chime.

Time that flows slow is simply sweet and wonderful because it has nothing to do with materialism, moreover it has the qualities of disintegrating you into different forms where one can explore and discover a lot about life in its true forms , the real essence of it and true meaning that revolves around things that we forget to peep into.

Simple encouraging acts of small work or no work and just enjoying the environment in the present mood itself is quite enchanting experience because you are so much free , you have all the time to do something and to do nothing , this explorations of nothingness is beyond comparison where you can be just with you, there’s no running for being someone else like in your office shoes or  have makeup or to read some news.

Its just you and the time you have all the time even that you forget about time.

i Vision : Steve Jobs

I dont know how to write about this, but last night i had a dream that i had a brief talk with Steve Jobs, the most amazing lifetime achiever who brought about a revolution with his brand apple and the i phones. I haven’t read much about him nor i have an i phone, they are too expensive for me to buy right now.

I had always liked the i phone, so much that whenever i see it  in someone else s hand, i request them to give it to me for a moment and explore it so much that they order me to return it back to them that very moment. am not unhappy for not being able to own it because its ok but someday i know i shall have one for me. 

I have read some articles and heard about Steve jobs from my fiance and about his apple  company and aware about i phones, but i could never imagine that ill be having Steve jobs a part of my dream, it cannot be, never ever, that some foreign figure could happen to exist in my dreams, am amazed myself .

In my dream i saw Steve jobs where he had this charisma of having a passionate and enlightened feel about him, just like an enlightened and peaceful soul would have like we have seen the meditating Buddha or the standing swami Vivekananda having a peaceful vibe in and around him in pictures. As soon i saw him i recognized him and began to talk, addressing him as Kanha Ji ( Lord Krishna) and not by his name or anything, and narrated  about, my life and the troubles, me and my fiance are going through in life, i could feel like i was in presence of a godly figure and that god knew whose help i needed and he sent someone who could help me to find a way out of my problems, so i requested him to give a fragment of his vision for us, to be our guiding light and inspiration, to hold our hand and lead us to light, i saw him listening to me so very patiently, that i ended narrating the problems anymore or requesting to him, just to realize that he cannot understand Hindi and again i started over again and rephrased all that i had said in Hindi to English and again he stood there listening very patiently. After i had ended describing in English, he said nothing for a moment and took a while to say just this word “alright” and smiled at me and then faded out in swirl and was no where to be seen. I was still there sitting feeling immensely happy and went on thinking that i have none of his creations or his designs but i felt so proud all the time for having his vision and his light and his unseen support forever for my life. 

And since Morning i have been thinking whether it was for real or just a dream or that it meant to be something that i must understand and put to life, am no where near to technology, corporate culture, company life, or not even in the mainstream of life if i literally go on to express about myself and how my life is, coming from an average family and with an average life. 

For me Steve jobs is so far far a thing to think or be known to, all i know is about the i phone and nothing special about him and still i cannot realize or digest that i had him in my dream, but being an educated girl with a psychology background i know it can happen because we live in an age of technology and so much of information exposure, that our unconscious mind stores information that we come across and stimulates similar thoughts that we wish to know about, if not in real than maybe imaginary thoughts and dreams may help us to get them.

Though its all dream actually but i  feel very special about it for it happened to me and not many can experience or feel the way i feel which is why i write about it to make it unforgettable experience of life. And it becomes more special as i relate it to kanha ji’s  blessing for me, a divine blessing from him in his form and the way that he thought best would be caught by me. Because gods dont appear to you so easily so they send their messengers to help you find your solutions to life’s problems.