Tag Archives: Desire

Questions ?

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I cannot stop by putting a dot

for questions contemplating a blot

for me or anything of mine

past , future or in this time

 

am no more what i used to be

not even the memory you have of me

so i cannot answer the way you remember

of irritation or signs of acute anger

 

i have discharged myself from actions

and grown out of those empty questions

that tried and tested my nerves then,

but now with the light of the little Zen

 

i give away the desire to answer

or even the nerve’s to transfer

the feelings that you wish to create

inside me of gloom or hate.

 

plase try to ‘watch’ my dear friend

am not following the experineced trend 

its just that i have changed something

about who i was, to i am Nothing.

 

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Sweet Nothingness

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Now I am a complete homemaker, doing all the household chores and actually loving it, we have relocated to this new place and am liking it alot , it seems,  if just two people live under a roof there are so many things to explore and care for rather living with many people and just caring for self.

I like this life and completely in love with the amount of free time and space, its like a dream come true , for what i had always been waiting for , this is what i wanted all the time when i was busy all day doing my job , studies and home tasks. But now its a whole lot of freedom , with no studies no job and no framework for work .

Life is moving really nice and i can feel and sense the time that never flies rather its slow and steady and seems to me that its just what one requires in life that he she doesn’t need to run with time rather wait for the time to chime.

Time that flows slow is simply sweet and wonderful because it has nothing to do with materialism, moreover it has the qualities of disintegrating you into different forms where one can explore and discover a lot about life in its true forms , the real essence of it and true meaning that revolves around things that we forget to peep into.

Simple encouraging acts of small work or no work and just enjoying the environment in the present mood itself is quite enchanting experience because you are so much free , you have all the time to do something and to do nothing , this explorations of nothingness is beyond comparison where you can be just with you, there’s no running for being someone else like in your office shoes or  have makeup or to read some news.

Its just you and the time you have all the time even that you forget about time.

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Marriage : An Everlasting Intention

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Traditional Indian Wedding Image

What is the first thing that comes to your mind on hearing this word Marriage ?

Probably joy, elation, feelings of attachment to someone who would be there every time and everyday with you and is meant just for you, with the one you’ll rise every morning and go to bed every night, with whom you can share everything about your world and that is in your world which become our world .

Again the above thoughts are restricted for the first timers, i hope i make myself clear when i say this because it aches me to write an explanation for what i actually mean by first timers , or the fresh ones. Actually I don’t want to get acknowledged each day or to remind even you that its another one or am the second timer and i have no such thoughts as i expressed above.

The definition or the contributing thoughts that surround this word marriage for me now have changed immensely and its nothing like sharing – caring or great honeymoons or candle light dinners anymore .

I feel that the actual realization that has happened to me now should happen to everyone, the first or the second timers that is marriage is not only about the display of what  ‘I’ feel so that the other spouse whose ‘I” is less than mine should fulfill all the desires i have leaving himself or herself behind where gradually with time ‘I’ grows and monotony sets in for the other and conflicts happen where the other feels left out as his/her desires remain unfulfilled and even unexplored. therefore there should be continuous effort to explore the ‘we’ desires more and give space to fulfill the ‘I’ desires alone all by yourself unburdening the other for their fulfillment.

I think marriage is more about giving solutions rather than understanding the problems of the relationship, we often develop our reactions on pre assumptions, stereotypical thoughts about the other as we always think that “I KNOW him or her so its nothing different today”, emotional assessment of the situation how it affected me , ego outbursts, etc. when there’s some issue or conflict we are tangled in the problem so much that we only understand the problem and forget about the solution or the other things to weigh and value ‘my’ emotional hurt and my suffering much more than the problem, leaving no space for the solution . So its actually creating more problem , one must remain conscious to find solutions of the problem rather accumulating more of it.

I feel that when you are in a relationship or married it is important to always be aware of emotions that lead to major disasters, because it always happens that “I’ was hurt, my feelings were hurt, i wasn’t cared for, i was left alone, i was cheated, i was ignored all these feelings are natural and may or may not be caused by the other, so its always important to inquire that is it actually caused by the other,or  if its exaggerated, or how intense are these feelings, do you encourage them more. one must ascertain all these factors before breaking out from home or breaking the relationship.

marriage is about two people coming together to share their lives so its always important for the two of them to keep others at bay even their own family, friends and relatives when things concerned with their relationship are at stake, for that reason no decisions should be left to either of family members as it should done by the mutual agreement of the two and the couple must see that they are not intensely guided or lead by their families so much that it leads to conflicts and disagreement among them, after all its them who are in the middle of everything and its their life and nothing should affect or come in between their relationship to destroy their harmony.So a married couple should know who should they follow and lead by and remain conscious in their decisions and life roles.

The intention and thinking matters as much as the responsibilities and freedom in the marriage, where everyone has some prerequisite information that there are certain things which need to be followed in a marriage, some responsibilities and that there has to be equal space and freedom too even when all things are ‘meant’ to be shared, these are well common notions that everyone knows, but what I stress more upon, is the ‘Intention’ that goes into marriage when issues arise, in case of “what ifs” like the other doesn’t fulfill the responsibilities  or the other requires more space and time alone , gives priority to his/her career or goals more than ‘me’ or ‘my  home’ or ‘my family’, in  such cases disputes happen, so its important to eliminate these disputes by disclosing your intentions to continue with the marriage and relation no matter what happens , to reassure the other about your thinking and that these issues are very temporary and the factors harming the other are merely pretending to do so because the actual mindset with which you are into this marriage is only the truth that the other must know rest is fake and sublime.

A couple in the marriage or relationship must stand with each other in every problem or distress and must support each other with everything, for marriage is not only joy-some togetherness rather its assimilation and accommodation of  both the worlds that come in form of two human beings to come together to be identified as one whole .

Love Shayari

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लबो की यह तमन्ना है ,

की लफ्जों में नहीं रुकना,

यह चाहत है लबो की अब

इन्हें युही नहीं थमना

की यह हकीक़त है सुनने में

लगेगा  तुमको अफसाना

मोहब्बत में यूँ ठहरे है

लगे हर तरफ, विराना

यूँ चाहत में उनकी खोये

की हर महफ़िल से हुए रवाना ‘

लगे हर बेरंग सी मेहफिल में

सजने लगे कोई तराना

हमे महसूस करना है

यह मन, क्यूँ बहकता है

की हर साज़ में यह दिल

जाने क्यूँ महकता है

यह मोहब्बत है इबादत है

या कोई और अफ़साना

बिना सोचे या  समझे ही

नहीं बनता कोई तराना

Rebellious Hope Beyond Personalized Failure

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Every genre of life holds some kind of productive roots that need to be harnessed in order to sustain for life and better livelihood to keep cycle of life consistent. For a human, its quite unimaginable to think about a life that is absent of materialism.The pursuit of this powerful yet significant source ( money) for life is ruthless and impinges upon the life so much that without it one can barely live the act of living.

The insatiable human life that never cease’s to desire materialism, hardly has any space left for spiritual conscious growth that could pose as a great escape for some who breath their last breath of soot in misfortune as their endless failures never ended.

For some failure is the end of experiments but for me failure is a beautiful concept that reminds me of my existence, am alive and in action and that I am making full use of every breath of mine. And i never fail to happen be it for countless failures or little spells of chance success. life is as much you and i know about it with past present and future attributed around two words success or failures but we fail to see beyond these two dictionary words.

It is unexpected of any human to detach them self from the life they have today, with so much of happening around them, since childhood school to their adulthood offices, life is full of events, emotions etc. whatever has happened in the past or whatever will happen in the future, we all try to personalize them and include those events of the past to the present moment and even attach the present shaping to suit it best for the future.

In the process we stop realizing the present which is all today the very moment we live in, we care so much about the failures the mistakes the events that happened that it begin to shape our future through our present moments of pondering over the past, thinking it shouldn’t happen again in the future we keep ruining and playing with the present.

The future has innumerable opportunities that the present may not know, the lack of awareness of the future is a blessing i believe as the graph of life is never a line, its rhythmic and this is a sign that we should have rebellious hope to do our work till the end whatever be the outcome let it remain, let it hold, but never stop the action.

Failures often leave us down and disappointed and even hopeless so much that we choose to quit action or some may even quit their lives, because again the matter is how you take the failures . There can be intermittent or consistent failures in life , if you ask me, i have consistent failures that i never personalize.

Because the day you begin to personalize with the failures its the day you cease to act anymore. Be it one or endless failures it should never let you stop, rather be rebellious having hope not for success or winning but hope that you shall continue despite these failures even if it happen time and again .

To hope in misery is to be rebel, to hope life in death is rebel, Hope is an endless rebellion towards life that even failure is natural and so is the hope that should never end. Hope is just not a factor or a word if you term it like that then the failure is just a word defined for a thing, idea, or event that went wrong not the way you planned.

I believe that these terms like, failure, mistakes, devastated  depressed, death, divorce, pain, ruined etc are becoming more symbolic and full of imagery the moment you think of them whereas the positive words like being happy, love,hope, faith, never give up, belief  etc are becoming more abstract because we can barely find any of the events describing them in our imagination when we are only going through the above negative terms that heavily sits and eat up our conscious.

which is why more and more people are becoming sad and full of disappointing because the ones they seek approval from or even look up for positivism are themselves full of negativity in and around them. we actually have lost our innate capacity to harness our own energy for being positive and its hard to do that mechanical work now of rebuilding.

The more practical answer to failures is then only the rebellious hope for this you need not change your mental setup of all positive and spirituality because i know its very hard to do it, even i cannot pull myslef from thinking negative so many times but the thing i always practice is this incessant hope i keep which becomes more and more rebellious with every failure that i encounter.

It has made me hard and courageous and so much that am least affected by life, am more able to enjoy small moments of happiness i dont long for big ones and i enjoy small things like eating the left piece of cake, or cooking some noodle, playing with my niece, or watching my Favorite songs. I no longer wait but i still move and act and i dont give up on action in life for there’s nothing to loose till the time you’re alive play with life.

True Love’s Journey

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न चाहत जगाओ अब सोने दो मुझे   

इस चाहत में बिगड़े थे सपनो के किले  

ना फैसला किया न सोचा यह दिल                                                                                                                                 

बस बनाता गया मुझे उनके काबिल                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

 

 

जो टूटे इस कदर रिश्तों भरे वादे 

सपनो  में सजोये थे जो उनसे मिलके,
 
की हुए बेपरवाह वो  क्यूँ  इस तरह

ना मैं  समझी ना मेरी वफ़ा 
 
 
क्या इस दिन के लिए ही चाहा था मुझे
 
जो इश्वर की कसम भी न रोक पाई तुम्हे

यू बीच मझदार छोड़ मुझे जब चल दिए,
 
 हर लम्हा हर वक़्त तन्हाई के मैंने जिए 
 
 
जब भूल चुकी थी चाहत की परिभाषा,

तब आकर किसीने मेरा हाथ थामा

हैरान थी मैं यह सोच-सोच कर,

क्या मुस्कुरा पाऊँगी कभी इन आंसूओ को पोछकर 
 
 
पर यूँ  किसिंने आकर बदल दिए चाहतों के मायेंने,
 
जो न सपनो में थे ना कभी अनजाने 

कैसे सबकुछ मेरा तुमने बाँट लिया,

हर दुःख भरा लम्हा मेरा तुमने छाँट लिया 
 
 
तुमने चाह्त को मेरी दिया एक नया मोड़,

मेरे दुःख के हर लम्हे को दिया तुमने तोड़ 

सब दे दिया इस चाह्त से भी आगे बड़के, 

अपनी दुनिया में बसाने, इस समाज से लड़के
 
 
 
इस कश्ती में सवार न जो होते तुम, 

जाने किन तुफानो में हो जाती मैं गुम

इस भीड़ में आकर नज़रो से तुमने संभाला,

नज़रो से ही पहनाई मैंने मिलन की वरमाला 

 

 

जो तुम न होते, तो क्या मैं होती

और जो ना होते, तो क्या सपने संजोती,

बस इस चाह्त भरे ख्वाब को खुली आँखों से देखती,

सच हो सब सपने, मेरे दिल की  हर आवाज़ कहती 

 

 

कोई बंधन अब इतना नहीं मूल्यवान,

ना साथ रहने में ही लिखे सब समाधान

हर जनम का साथी वो सिर्फ मेरा है,

साथ उसके ही जीवन का हर सवेरा है

 

 

अब तो डर भी नहीं, ना बंदिश कोई, 

चाहतो के प्यार भरे साये में, मैं खोयी

जो तुम हो तो सब कुछ है पास,

जो तुम न हो ,तो न हो कोई आस

 

 

हर जीवन के पल में रहे साथ तुम्हारा,

इस नदी की लहरों को मिले किनारा 

येही बात और येही जज़्बात,

जोड़े हमे हमेशा एकसाथ

 

 

 मेरे प्यारे सनम मेरे भोले सनम 

तुमको देती मैं आज प्यार की कसम 

कि साथ निभाने का दे दो मुझे वचन 

इस जनम से अब हर जनम

Mehfil e Zindagi

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यह ज़िन्दगी की महफ़िल ….

 

अब कहाँ ….

शाम ए महफिले सजा करती है

हर तरफ बदरंग सी कोई नुमाइश लगती है

ना कहीं सुर है ना कोई साज़

हर तरफ सिने में छुपा रहा कोई राज़

 

क्यूंकि …

 

दिखावा करती यह दुनिया बरसो से चली

दिखावे के बिना अब कहाँ कोई शाम ढली

दिखावो में सिमटा हुआ हमसफ़र

दिखावटी ज़िन्दगी का छोटा सफ़र

 

इस …

 

चकाचौन्द में डूबा हुआ मन

हुआ बोझिल सा हर अन्तरंग

किसे देखे किसे बताये

की इस मन की क्या है आशाए

 

क्यूंकि

 

ना अब फुर्सत ना कोई विरासत

क्यूँ दे कोई अब अपना वक्त

किसको परवाह, कौन हो तुम

ढूँढेगा कौन हो गए अगर गुम

 

तो

 

यह महफिले ए ज़िन्दगी है जनाब

समझाना छोड़ दीजिये इसको ख्वाब

हकीकत है यही बयान कर चुके हम

इस दुनिया में नहीं हर कोई सनम

 

इसलिए

 

रिश्ते नाते वफ़ा या मोहब्बत

ना बनो इनमे किसी के भी भक्त

लगाओ मन प्रभु के चरणों में

नहीं रहा कुछ बाकी अब  झूठी कसमो में