©️Aditri Rajput Śhìĺpí#NothingI cannot stop by putting a dotfor questions contemplating a blotfor me or anything of minepast, future or in this time.I’m no longer what i used to be,not even the memory you have of me,so i cannot answer the way you rememberof irritation or signs of unsolicitedanger.I have discharged myself from actions,and grown out of those empty questions,that tried and tested my nerves thenbut now with the light of little Zen.I give away the desire to answer,or even the nerve’s to transfer,the feelings that you wish to createinside me of gloom or hate.Please try to watch O’ dear friendI no longer follow the experineced trend,It’s just that i have changed something,From who i was, to i am Nothing.
What is the first thing that comes to your mind on hearing this word Marriage ?
Probably joy, elation, feelings of attachment to someone who would be there every time and everyday with you and is meant just for you, with the one you’ll rise every morning and go to bed every night, with whom you can share everything about your world and that is in your world which become our world .
Again the above thoughts are restricted for the first timers, i hope i make myself clear when i say this because it aches me to write an explanation for what i actually mean by first timers , or the fresh ones. Actually I don’t want to get acknowledged each day or to remind even you that its another one or am the second timer and i have no such thoughts as i expressed above.
The definition or the contributing thoughts that surround this word marriage for me now have changed immensely and its nothing like sharing – caring or great honeymoons or candle light dinners anymore .
I feel that the actual realization that has happened to me now should happen to everyone, the first or the second timers that is marriage is not only about the display of what ‘I’ feel so that the other spouse whose ‘I” is less than mine should fulfill all the desires i have leaving himself or herself behind where gradually with time ‘I’ grows and monotony sets in for the other and conflicts happen where the other feels left out as his/her desires remain unfulfilled and even unexplored. therefore there should be continuous effort to explore the ‘we’ desires more and give space to fulfill the ‘I’ desires alone all by yourself unburdening the other for their fulfillment.
I think marriage is more about giving solutions rather than understanding the problems of the relationship, we often develop our reactions on pre assumptions, stereotypical thoughts about the other as we always think that “I KNOW him or her so its nothing different today”, emotional assessment of the situation how it affected me , ego outbursts, etc. when there’s some issue or conflict we are tangled in the problem so much that we only understand the problem and forget about the solution or the other things to weigh and value ‘my’ emotional hurt and my suffering much more than the problem, leaving no space for the solution . So its actually creating more problem , one must remain conscious to find solutions of the problem rather accumulating more of it.
I feel that when you are in a relationship or married it is important to always be aware of emotions that lead to major disasters, because it always happens that “I’ was hurt, my feelings were hurt, i wasn’t cared for, i was left alone, i was cheated, i was ignored all these feelings are natural and may or may not be caused by the other, so its always important to inquire that is it actually caused by the other,or if its exaggerated, or how intense are these feelings, do you encourage them more. one must ascertain all these factors before breaking out from home or breaking the relationship.
marriage is about two people coming together to share their lives so its always important for the two of them to keep others at bay even their own family, friends and relatives when things concerned with their relationship are at stake, for that reason no decisions should be left to either of family members as it should done by the mutual agreement of the two and the couple must see that they are not intensely guided or lead by their families so much that it leads to conflicts and disagreement among them, after all its them who are in the middle of everything and its their life and nothing should affect or come in between their relationship to destroy their harmony.So a married couple should know who should they follow and lead by and remain conscious in their decisions and life roles.
The intention and thinking matters as much as the responsibilities and freedom in the marriage, where everyone has some prerequisite information that there are certain things which need to be followed in a marriage, some responsibilities and that there has to be equal space and freedom too even when all things are ‘meant’ to be shared, these are well common notions that everyone knows, but what I stress more upon, is the ‘Intention’ that goes into marriage when issues arise, in case of “what ifs” like the other doesn’t fulfill the responsibilities or the other requires more space and time alone , gives priority to his/her career or goals more than ‘me’ or ‘my home’ or ‘my family’, in such cases disputes happen, so its important to eliminate these disputes by disclosing your intentions to continue with the marriage and relation no matter what happens , to reassure the other about your thinking and that these issues are very temporary and the factors harming the other are merely pretending to do so because the actual mindset with which you are into this marriage is only the truth that the other must know rest is fake and sublime.
A couple in the marriage or relationship must stand with each other in every problem or distress and must support each other with everything, for marriage is not only joy-some togetherness rather its assimilation and accommodation of both the worlds that come in form of two human beings to come together to be identified as one whole .
We talk about being positive, having positive attitude and positive approach towards life.
Today Positivism has filled every corner of our life its there at the work or in our home, where the need and demand is growing at a very fast pace just as the technology is making our live’s vulnerable and stressful. The global life of an average person is being run over by stress , confusion, crises, tension, unfulfilled needs, desires complexities, problems, pain, suffering, and delusions that has become more or less an identity if that very person.
For Instance , If we have a person who is every day ranting about his promotion at the work place, this person’s identity becomes different unlike his skill or name he might be called as Mr. promotion or a real example about a women ( here one of my friend ) who loves to splurge and go after brand shopping, it were no problem if she kept all that to herself rather pulling us who cannot spend so much and looks down upon us, for this i actually gave her a name i.e Ms Price Tag.
There is nothing to ridicule about such people by assigning them names and they happen to be everywhere among our friends, family, relatives, acquaintances etc who they are or how they relate to us is not the problem but the problem is that their goodness hides behind these over expressive attitudes and becomes extinct in wake of such behavior which is so frequent and predictable that none can expect anything else other than what they actually do everyday.
And Since this becomes the routine, it gets much harder to change or break such attitudes that stem from problems itself, because every kind of problematic attitude has origin that was first limited to that person and gradually spreads around as attitudinal problem that was formed to overcome the problem but happens to become more complicated. Such people are then stereotyped and named and the same notions are passed on to others even the new members who come in to their contact.
Everything that was positive or could be positive or explored positive fades out and even deteriorates with time. It is very important to prick the attitudinal balloon right away at the right time before it inflates and spreads and start acquiring space. The task is pretty hard and gigantic but still some can lead to make efforts in the right direction with right attitude. It really pains me a lot when the person is prejudged for his/her behavior on the basis of observation or the information provided by others around them.
So it becomes relevant in view of the above consequences to bring change among the people in question who may not readily agree to accept the harshness they carry in their attitude or that something they do affects the mental setup of the other people around them. And thus it becomes next to impossible that anyone can bring change to them, for if we begin to try they might never agree to it and will investigate about the source of positivity that is coming from me or you for that matter.
But we cannot cease to look for change and bring out the goodness in them even if they abhor us for doing so. Because even we are not complete perfectionist or having really really good behavior, we have our fair share of mistakes and problems that we carry along and so it becomes difficult.
Its only if we can create a balance and complete positive outlook about ourselves first even if we are ignored, deprived, or hated for some period but then if we keep gauging and encouraging the other person’s goodness to bring it out more in conversations and actions in front of the other people as well and get it all reinforced from others too, we can very well change the problematic attitude.
People love to prepare for “their” plan, so much that they are out of control when it fails, what they do not realize is, ‘what to prepare for’, i mean preparing for the unplanned, the unexpected change, turn of plans, only through this can they be, eternally conscious enough to still stay happy and prepare for the next unplanned.
A few years back i always thought about getting married and how beautiful the life will be like every girl would have thought , to go places, to see the world , to hold hands, to eat good food , to wear the most fashionable clothes on honeymoon, to love and hug and get love and hugs 24 /7 and forever and ever. I too had such beautiful and exciting thoughts about getting married.
And i did get married and all wasn’t beautiful as it looked like in my case, because i had this picture in my mind that did not fitted well when i saw the other couples and heard their stories of romance and love making and how beautiful it was all in the arranged setup . I still managed for a good time but had to separate soon as things went ugly to awry and so it had to happen because after giving your extreme self to the other, there come’s a time when you have to realize that the heart that beats inside your body is the sound of your soul that wishes to live .
One has to believe that this life is not your or mine or anyone else’s for whom you need to sacrifice not even for your own miseries you dont have to die unless your time comes till that moment you should live with all its struggles, sufferings , good , bad, pain, sorrow, happiness, love etc. I too had my moments where i thought everything is shattered, am in ruins and other stuff about thoughts to die and live no longer, and the best part i was encouraged even more to succumb to my thoughts passively by some people. But i never took the extreme i always prolonged that period of pain further than to fall apart.
I’ve learned and matured in my thoughts and to this day my problems and life struggles haven’t ended, and i have experimented with these feelings that how the other person lives well and am still in troubles, i have thought a way out for this too, i think i haven’t seen this person’s complete life what is there in his/her life , how bad or good his time will be or how he she would suffer or die i do not know, so would i still be willing to compare or desire his/her life or even exchange it . No ,not for once i hold my karma and my consequences as my own and i would never wish to change it with anyone else’s .
Believe you me even today after all that i still struggle and there’s so much in my life that needs to be well placed. After separation i lived quite peacefully and met a good person on a legal portal, he too is separated and still struggling a lot without a job and money, and its been like this since the last 2 years and more, we have been with each other in rough times and holding each other, where we have least hopes for our marriage or a comfortable life in future, we shall have to do a lot to make ends meet. But we are not afraid to do that even because we will be together is what we care for.
Had it been like this, that only we two were concerned forever it could be easier but then, the sad part is the mix of two families our well settled wealthy relatives and friends who lead life of luxuries always keep asking about when, where, how, why and what of our life’s, thank god i have got so much strength and courage to put a really great shape and face in front of them and even for him, we dont open up easily. I keep assuring everyone about our future and we shall live good and he will get a job soon he is trying hard.
We have never given up on hope , to live a positive life with good thoughts , we struggle and cherish this period of struggle because we know we have met each other that was the best thing that could happen to us, we cry one hour but feel OK the other hour. i dont know where this enormous strength has come to us that we have suffered so much, that we are toughened by these circumstances and we just hope and wait for our days to change and let the sun shine for us .
Whenever am in trouble and have depression like feelings i always think that at least am alive to correct it and life is much greater than the problems itself, so why t worry as this period will go away , maybe it becomes a long period end-up in years but still it will end someday, it cannot remain forever. And believe its encouraging to think that you live good to change things , think of other things where you are killed by some mad person or die in a freak accident , its best that god has given you this chance and you are alive and able to transform the bad to good.
No wonder life is full of phases of good and bad but its best to endure in that time it can last for years and years but you still need to put up a smiling face before the society and friends so that they cannot know what you face, as only a percent of people will understand you and you never know which percent is that. So its best to keep your life and struggles to yourself it gives you courage strength and wisdom to continue and grow in life.
A general sense of thoughts that accommodate certain feelings and ultimately embellishes my thoughts for an emotional upheaval that thrives inside out only to instigate a revolutionary cause .
The forte of my present situation dwells upon my past and has a great bearing on my present life.
I can casually revert back to my school days, as I remember for once raising my hand among so many students on being asked the question,
“who wants to be a teacher” ?
I knew, it wasn’t certain at that time and was just a passing thought that saw its way out in a fragment of time. And I was somewhat embarrassed too having raised my hand all alone when i looked to my right and left and back altogether. Gosh ! That passed.
But, when the time came to opt a course and career, god was so gracious to supply me with the best of choices to decide. Its a noble thing altogether that he who sits in heaven has given this wonderful gift of choice, and so i made it, to be a teacher and pursued my training for the same.
Sometimes i reflect upon the notion that now am to be in the league of the one’s who shape the future of our nation which will culminate in its classrooms. But i still couldn’t believe that what i am doing will create a mark or not and will it change my attitude towards this field or not .
Being part of today’s Generation i doubted about this as much as you would, in a world where there’s so much professionalism and corporate life exuberance that attracts and hugs it every time one has no other alternative but to think and contradict, and at the same time i thought that teaching profession, was sure infallible in words and praises, but hardly influences the generation today due to small incentives and lacks glamour quotient.
All this was past, when i became part of this profession and entered the threshold of the classrooms with “buzzing sounds, unconditioned smiles, silly giggles, dreamy eyes, sleepy lips, clutching hands, open fingers, and beautiful voice, where the eyes follow to approach and hold someone in nearby surroundings.
All this made my insolent perceptions fall irrelevant in view of my vicarious experience with these, thought before, but unimaginable moments of complete unselfish love coming straight from God’s heart. Id be a fool to let go of this moment and should cling on to it, as much, to get this love and give the same to those who will cherish it all time.
And believe me am glad i chose it and became part of this profession now Am the Katrina Kaif, Aishwarya Rai, and Kareena Kapoor of my kids , they love me and i have never found such unconditional love before, i love teaching and training them for life and being as much with them as i can, guiding them, partying with them, eating with them, playing with them, joking with them, and sharing their dreams and aspirations is just awesome feeling out of this world.
Every child i see is full of innocence fluttering with wings every now and then just to break free from those four apathetic walls which suffocate their freedom, though seeming meaningful for others but for them its as much a crime unforgivable and their world inconsolable .The schools are devoid of many facilities but its not deprived of teachers who can fulfill for almost everything that’s missing, moreover the utmost need of love, care and guidance by holding hands with the kids and make them happy before teaching.
As i reflect more i think there’s much more missing, something that can help these kids even more in life. And i think what could it be,the more i pondered over i thought that quality and fruitful education and activities can let them explore the opportunities to make it to higher classes or schools even on behalf of those kids who could not make it even this far for primary education.
A system of education that is lead by heart and soul by the teachers who nurture all round development of the kids and let them cherish life of self reliance and getting active for their rights and even for those who are around them.
This world is ever growing and demanding its needs every hour that our children should carry their innocence on the chest of conscience that equips them with the armory of sustainability of all kinds, for every situation and not become a prey due to absence of basic education.
All these thoughts accommodate for one cause, that, the teacher is the person who can make all the difference by giving a fragment of his/her life for these small wonder’s who are not left alone to fend for themselves but to achieve and realize their dreams.
There’s nothing like Humans on this earth..
Perhaps you must be perplexed to read the above lines, but let me bring fore the reality that may strike you to come to terms with the same conclusion as the one i keep . There’s no dearth of men and women on this earth who know how to exist peacefully and cohabit mutually with dignity for each other with respect to each others gender and the role concerned to it. The role encompasses with both entering into rightful and dignified institutions of society where they can thrive happily and prosper.
Now if the society has sanctioned some institution where one can derive all the pleasures of their opposite gender then there’s no room left for them to loot or plunder for the same and that too customizing the women in specific here, as a flesh to satiate their up roaring, unrestrained sexual urges that are not channelized.
In light of the some shameful incidents that happened with girls in Guwahati (assam) where a mob of inhuman and devilish people relished the helplessness of the girl , biting upon her flesh and pulling her hair and even thrashing her for not complying to let them take her clothes off her skin for their game. I completely abhor this shameful event and at the same time am bound to recall how a women was kicked and thrashed by the Egyptian police and again a mob of people in gurgaon who had gone wild over finding another helpless victim mercilessly robbed her off her dignity.
It all depict that how cruel or how outrageous the mentality of humans are degrading, am of no doubt that the same men must have been born from their mothers womb only and not from their fathers ass, if at all they don’t have any regard for the women whom they link or perceive merely as a moving sex object. Its really hard to change such perceptions as they only stem from places where they are brought up in such conditions, where literally women are given no regard, they act as they have seen all their life, but then their mother’s too did not sow the seeds of dignity or respect for themselves and became the very enemies of their own kind. so this had to happen its a vicious circle that goes on.
she did not had any respect form her husband then how could the other women have it from her son.
The roots need to be strengthened , the ground should be made fertile where the seeds of values should be sown and grown to be harvested one day where even the girls of such monsters can breathe free . Though somehow it angers and frustrates, so much that i wish to curse and burst out at them, but here for me i just cannot curse these men that they should realize the pain of these women upon whom they inflict such brutality and insanity as i cannot torment my own kind and i shall never curse the womenfolk linked to them for they they did not teach them ethics or humanity .
Lest these men should go through the same trauma themselves that they impose upon other, for nothing in the world is attributed as best, to equal the amount of pain or happiness unless you yourself have been in the same shoes to realize to bear and to feel the same in order to relieve oneself of guilt or enjoy the good of happiness.
Here i remember the story of daaku angulimaal who was transformed by gautam buddha even after committing so many evils …
Angulimala: A Story of the Power of Compassion
There was once the son of a Brahmin (the highest “priestly” caste in India) in the court of King Pasenadi of Kosala, whose name was Ahimsaka. He was sent to Taxila for his studies. Ahimsaka was intelligent and obedient to this teacher; therefore he was liked by both the teacher and his wife. This made the other pupils jealous of him. So they went to the teacher and falsely accused Ahimsaka of having an immoral relationship with the teacher’s wife. At first, he did not believe them, but after hearing it a number of times, he thought it was true and vowed to have revenge on Ahimsaka. He thought that to kill him would reflect badly on him. His rage prompted him to suggest the unthinkable to the young and innocent Ahimsaka. He told his pupil to kill a thousand human beings and to bring the right thumb of each as payment for teaching him. Of course the youngster would not even think of such a thing, so he was banished from the teacher’s house and returned to his parents.
When his father learned why Ahimsaka had been expelled, he became furious with his son, and would hear no reason. On that very day, with the rain pouring down, he ordered Ahimsaka to leave the house. Ahimsaka went to his mother and asked her advice, but she could not go against the will of her husband. Next Ahimsaka went to the house of his betrothed (in accord with the ancient custom in India calling for betrothal of children long before their actual marriage), but when the family learned why Ahimsaka had been turned out of school, they drove him off. The shame, anger, fear, and despair of Ahimsaka drove him out of his mind. His suffering mind could only recollect the teacher’s order: to collect 1,000 human thumbs. And so he started killing, and as he killed, the thumbs he collected were hung on a tree, but as they were destroyed by crows and vultures, he later wore a garland of the fingers to keep track of the number.
Because of this he came to be known as Angulimala (finger garland) and became the terror of the countryside. The king himself heard about the exploits of Angulimala, and he decided to capture him. When Mantani, Ahimsaka’s mother, heard about the king’s intention, she went to the forest in a desperate bid to save her son. By this time, the chain around the neck of Angulimala had 999 fingers in it, just one finger short of 1,000.
The Buddha; learned of the mother’s attempt to dissuade her son from, and reflected that if he did not intervene, Angulimala, who was on the lookout for the last person to make up the 1,000, would see his mother and might kill her. In that case, he would have to suffer an even longer period for his evil kamma. Out of compassion, the Buddha left for the forest.
Angulimala, after many sleepless days and nights, was very tired and near exhaustion. At the same time, he was very anxious to kill the last person to make up his full quota of 1,000 and so complete his task. He made up his mind to kill the first person he met. As he looked down from his mountain perch, he saw a woman on the road below. He wanted to fulfil his vow to complete the 1,000 thumbs, but as he approached, he saw it was his mother. At the same time, the Buddha was approaching, and Angulimala had just enough presence of mind to decide to kill the wandering monk instead of his mother. He set out after the Blessed One with his knife raised. But the Buddha kept moving ahead of him. Angulimala just could not catch up with him. Finally, he cried out, “O Bhikkhu, stop, stop!” And the Enlightened One replied, “I have stopped. It is you who have not stopped.” Angulimala did not catch the significance of these words, so he asked, “O bhikkhu! Why do you say that you have stopped while I have not?”
The Buddha replied, “I say that I have stopped because I have given up killing all beings. I have given up ill-treating all beings, and have established myself in universal love, patience, and knowledge through reflection. But you have not given up killing or ill treating others and you are not yet established in universal love and patience. Hence, you are the one who has not stopped.” On hearing these words Angulimala was recalled to reality, and thought, these are the words of a wise man. This monk is so very wise and so very brave that he must be the leader of the monks. Indeed, he must be the Enlightened One himself! He must have come here specially to make me see the light. So thinking, he threw away his weapons and asked the Blessed One to admit to the Order of the bhikkhus, which the Buddha did.
When the king and his men came to capture Angulimala, they found him at the monastery of the Buddha. Finding that Angulimala had given up his evil ways and become a bhikkhu, the king and his men agreed to leave him alone. During his stay at the monastery, Angulimala ardently practiced meditation.
Angulimala had no peace of mind because even in his solitary meditation he used to recall memories of his past and the pathetic cries of his unfortunate victims. As a result of his evil kamma, while seeking alms in the streets he would become a target of stray stones and sticks and he would return to the Jetavana monastery with broken head and blood flowing, cut and bruised, to be reminded by the Buddha: “My son Angulimala. You have done away with evil. Have patience. This is the effect of the evil deeds you have committed in the existence. Your evil kamma would have made you suffer through innumerable existences had I not met you.”
One morning while going on an almsround in Savatthi, Angulimala heard someone crying out in pain. When he came to know that a pregnant lady was having labor pains and facing difficulty to deliver the child, he reflected, all worldly beings are subject to suffering. Moved by compassion, he reported the suffering of this poor woman to the Buddha who advised him to recite the following words of truth, which later came to be known as Angulimala Paritta. Going to the presence of the suffering woman, he sat on a seat separated from her by a screen, and uttered these words:
Sister, since the day I became an arahat
I have not consciously destroyed
The life of any living beings.
By this truth, may you be well
And may your unborn child be well.
Instantly the woman delivered her child with ease. Both the mother and chid were well and healthy. Even today many resort to this paritta. Angulimala liked living in solitude and in seclusion. Later he passed away peacefully. As an arahant, he attained parinibbana.
Other bhikkhus asked the Buddha where Angulimala was reborn, and when the Blessed One replied, my son Angulimala has attained parinibbana, they could hardly believe it. So they asked whether it was possible that such a man who had in fact killed so many people could have attained parinibbana. To this question, the Buddha replied, “Bhikkhus, Angulimala had done much evil because he did not have good friends. But later, he hound good friends and with their help and good advice he became steadfast and mindful in practicing the dhamma and meditation. Thus, his evil deeds have been overwhelmed by good kamma and his mind has been completely rid of all defilements.”
The Buddha said of Angulimala
“Whose evil deed is obscured by good,
he illumines this world like the
moon freed from a cloud.”
The power of love and compassion are stronger than any evil, and are absolute conditions for awakening.
I wish these unmindful and ignorant devils do realize someday what deeds they have committed and as the cycle would go on,so shall they suffer in next births to come if not this one…everything shall be distributed equally for the deeds we do be it good or bad , if you have done one bad you shall be given bad in return as Shiva says u cannot compensate it for even a 1000 good deeds you do.But you can lessen the effect of it somehow by doing Good karma.
Understand about destiny , it usually means something which is predetermined , now what has been already decided, will happen or not, who will come to witness that, have you ever thought about.
Just imagine that If you want to eat a chocolate now, you will eat it if its there around you at home, or go and buy it from the market and eat it . But consider another situation where you want to eat it in the middle of the night, if the shops close at 1 am and you couldn’t eat the chocolate then you blame it on your destiny, for not being able to fulfill your wish, but you never realize about the circumstance s that you are already aware of and still act naive and blame everything on your destiny.
Destiny is almost nothing and just a meaning in the sense of being predetermined.
Rather destiny is what you create yourself with your own hands by choosing the KARMIC actions you perform all your life and this is your function , this is your role and this is what you do and should do all life.
Karma is our actions/ deeds and behavior that we do all our lives and this is what shapes and creates our future or our present. People often forget about Karma and believe in “Bhagya” in Hindi or Fate in English which gives rise to unravel ling the mystery of this Bhagya or fate in the Kundlis or Birth charts that again generate a cycle of going after planets, stars , signs and remedies to cure or even changing our fate, It is quite unfortunate to observe that people often waste tonnes of money in these activities and never ever realize that there is nothing that can be done to change anything about life it goes by your karma and not through destiny. They eagerly wish and hope for MAGIC or MIRACLES to happen that would change.
Very often we just cannot give up on accepting that there is nothing like unseen forces, power, rituals or practices that can change the way we exist . because we love it so much being dependent, to be connected for our needs and wishes that whoever says whatever to us to create our destiny, we tend to follow them blindly overlooking facts and logic .
One more thing i remember is that only the people in distress or who believe in miracles, or who are weak spirited go for such remedies and practices, they do not believe in the power of their own karma . They override their faith,beliefs and consequences of their own actions / behavior that is their own Karma that they do .
Karma is only what you do or have been doing all this time long , it is what you Choose to do between good and bad, truth or false, happy or sad, positive or negative, accept or reject and much more , it is the Freedom we never think about while we make the Choice to do what we want to do , nobody has snatched that choice from us isn’t it ? Then the concern is if we are the ones who do everything who choose and make decision every time for what next action will be then how is destiny planned or predetermined and if it were be that, then why should we believe in it so much, where its us who has the Control. The destiny does not even help,hinders or defines or decides what actions we take, other than our own willingness.
So, We actually have one thing to do is help our destiny shape, the way we want or like it to be, by being conscious and doing the right karma and forget about the results and surrender to the power of god and let him take care of it. We actually fear about so many things , the planets, the destiny,the kundli, the rituals and god that we actually forget about our KARMA . In this process we try to be gods because we wish to Control and Believe that our actions, our karma is predestined and it had to be the way it should or what these unseen forces want us to do is what we actually do.
This is not right as we are afraid to uphold the sole responsibility of our deeds or actions i.e Karma ourselves . As its always the individual who decides and make the choice and is the performer, so how can anything other thing, that will come later holds responsibility for the karma you do today. Its always your call to wake up or not, to perform good action, behave right and tread upon a value, virtuous and righteous path that is good for us and others as well and doesn’t harm anyone in anyway.
Its best to Love god and surrender to him and leave everything to him and just do your karma that is your responsibility alone, as Krishna says Do your karma and dont worry about the results, leave them to me.