Tag Archives: bias

Love beyond ONE :Taboo !

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Krishna had 16,108 wives.

I hope that am not caught or tried because of the topic am going to write about now.  As it may sound extreme deviation from the norms that our society has been following since ages. Though i love to talk all sweet and nice  as its easily approved and acceptable to everyone.

It is all because we actually see a reflection in others and that is like a mirror in which we see ourselves, the things we want to deliberately see comforting our own scheme of thoughts and perception we have about us and others and what we are , reflects in the others we see because we want to see that . Its about the thoughts, our understanding the way we think about others tantamount to what we are precisely, what kind of human being we are in real.

Because we are made up of our own beliefs  moral, traditions, norms, values, hopes and desires we want to see in the world that comforts all these , and the things that are beyond our understanding and do not fall anywhere in line with the above is bound to be rejected or abhorred.

Why is it so difficult to understand and accept certain things beyond our understanding is difficult to know exactly , it may be due to conditioning that we are not keen to learn anymore anything that is new and breaks our routine thoughts.  we do not wish to go beyond  we feel comfortably in our zone , approved and accepted the way society wants exactly.

But we fail as this society stops us from attaining the new, exploring other avenues, innovating something new , going for  the truth . It wants us to cling to it and we wish to do the same out of security and belonging.

And those who break free of the said norms , are despised and never thought or taught about, for generations unless there are some really great minds who work hard to understand them and discover their intelligence and extra-ordinariness. They are not captive to the society nor their stereotypical notions.

Now having said all that, i wish to ponder over, this feeling called Love which is beautiful and a great thing to do in life.

What is love actually, it is a feeling where a man and woman fall for each other and keep on insisting and practicing this confinement to each other where, confinement equals commitment that too forever, which keeps it functioning, well this is love today actually and no doubt it will run for many eons, and i hold nothing against this.I believe that love can happen all the more , many times and again its not even sex as we may criticize a man or woman for loving more that one person , and label him/her with different names.

Love is the most difficult task indeed and holding it to one is even more difficult because it changes from love to possessiveness and goes beyond that  where we keep looking to confine that one person who should be meant for us all our lives, that becomes a negative side of love which we have since long time because it restricts, upholds and creates dangerous feelings within us where we time and again wish to break free, and look for other , because we have a choice to do so having options available, that makes the situation all the more bad.

Love cannot be confined rather it can be spread and left free to blossom to as many as possible. It is no more difficult thing to do, love is best understood if it holds no feelings like possession and monopoly over a single person. It has enough potential to accommodate as many as one can love without any difficulty like a mother never differentiate s or bias her love for her children, similarly a man or a woman can go beyond traditional existing love and can hold pure love feelings for others as well.

We have many examples in our history where polygamy and polyandry was practiced and love was encouraged and was considered pious as in today and such men and women were even prayed and were of high virtue and morals.For instance Draupadi who loved all her 5 husbands the pandav’s equally and she holds the dignity and respect since ages, but we find some elements of prostitution too when we recollect about her, being wife to 5 men and how she was able to equally love all of them and never made her love fall short or more for any of them. Even Krishna had so many wives and he was equally present for all of them and they could feel his love without bias .

Draupadi with Pandavas and their mother

Similarly in some societies / religions that have different situation than ours, polygamy or polyandry became necessary and moral due to war and conflicts where there are less men and more woman and even where male and female sex ratio are different woman are few and there are more men and for those men and women who are divorced, separated, widows or left out, in such circumstances it becomes necessary and if had not been like that, then many would have been forced to live a loveless life who then may resort to  prostitution or victimizing others for their needs, which again stands highly immoral as per society.

But i think,even the prostitutes hold a good place in my thoughts, as those men and woman save , defend and protect us from the evils that could happen to kids, women, men , old and young. They hold more dignity and respect, in my view, they are like the soldiers who fight everyday to protect us.

Even today it exists where i saw a discovery channel documentary showing a woman living with two men under the same roof and all the three of them enjoyed a life full of love and respect , the men equally loved the woman and the woman loved them both. i was amazed to see the comfort level, the love they had for each other, and was laughing when my mom said “this is heights of immorality, and it happens in times today only not earlier “.

Anyhow i was glad to see that and thought that how heavenly it could be to get love from as many people as you can in this one life, its not sex again , but a pure love that can or cannot include sex, but it just makes you feel good and the same feeling for others who are in love completely  Its not supposed to be selfish rather a selfless and unconditional tribute to life of divinity and richness.

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Employee Rights: Are they Functional ?

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The plight of a Genuine but Not powerful Employee ..

Only Requirement Works Here !

Now when you are out of your mother’s womb and away from your parents caresses and pamper, you must fend for yourself with available help that others have to offer in such times, and many times even alone. And when you are out to survive to earn your bread if not for yourself, you may do it for those who survive because of you.

So here begins the never ending road of survival full of struggles. I can barely accept a life minus troubles at any place home, neighborhood, society, roads, parking’s  malls, whoa and even the place where you work for a reason, the place where freedom exists in the Constitution but you may not have the same freedom as an Employee and to this day am genuinely unaware of an Employee Rights be it Government or Private sector, whcih ones are finctional and whcih ones are deni.

To forecast the future in an organisation is somewhat vague, you jump with joy on getting a job but realize it, after some days that this place or work is not meant for you and if at all, it is meant then it can only be occasioned best in two situations where, “you may like the job profile,but not the working conditions, or, you may like the working conditions but not the job profile”.

It may be rare to find sync with both the aspects.

Here the most significant factor that perturbs me to write an account on behalf of my colleagues and friends, to share their helplessness and what defunct s them, as they slog , unwillingly and unattended to their own cause. Its not about “Adjustment” at all , everyone does so unless their comes a point where they either have to “Bend or Break”.

I believe there’s more than what meets the eye, employees feel devoid of rights many a times, for n number of reasons, and prominently it has been Office Politics, favoritism, non observance of employee past or present records, unhealthy competition, lack of empathy, lack of cohesiveness among team members , negative behavior on part of Bosses , managers and even Human resource persons who lack practical application of those theoretical facts they have read all this time.

The most important in all this is the role of the HR manager who have an exit interview with the person who separates form the organization should be thoroughly questioned in a empathetic manner moreover it can be conducted by the third party, it would be more transparent and unbiased. As they they can evaluate the pros and cons of the organization as well along with the employees reasons for quitting.And such reports should be escalated to the Bosses who conclude it in an unbiased way and over finding no fault of the employee should try retaining the employee in the organization by making improvements.

Moreover i should not forget to mention about the “Contracts” having ridiculous clauses in them, which should be considered by some change makers who may work for creating better employee conditions to do away with unjustifiable clauses that may harm an employees legitimate rights as per constitutional rights.

Here i cannot refrain myself from putting a similar situation, justifiably in view of above mentioned reasons, which happened some time back : when i was taken by shocked, not at all intimated, never applied for and not even a single ground being mentioned as to why or for what reason i were transferred and felt disheartened and disoriented, as i had to give up on my kids with whom i had shared a bond that was about to go on for many more years to come and believed that i have been with these kids, taught them, loved them and shared the world with them, i got transferred to some other school. Am not happy with the system that does not realize the value of this nurtured and hard earned relationship of kids, a teacher secures, the rapport she shares, is hard to contrive. One doesn’t even come to know of their spouse in so many years, but here i had touched and nurtured 80 kids since beginning.

In the same way i can relate this  “officeisms” where my fiance was Overburdened and many a times taken away the responsibility he had in his previous job. the people who are up in the hierarchy at workplace hold power positions, and distinguish themselves in signatures that work for them. they actually work as per requirement, fitting the blocks in the board is what they care about, not to think beyond “Fitting” and “Requirement”.

Its a Pandora’s box, and none is keen to open this, the above situation is a fragment of the major portion of  problems that surrounds the system and structure in offices,

The problem becomes more insignificant when people do not stand for injustice nor complain, because employment is a need, and this need becomes helplessness and people take advantage of such helplessness where they keep throwing the pandemonium for employees in offices.

I hope that the system in every organisation changes for good, where there are rules books are followed and the employee rights are mentioned, through government policies which help the private and public sector employees to eliminate their helplessness and can work for choice and will.

Beyond Gender : Whole is more than sum of its Parts

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https://i1.wp.com/www.sivavision.org/image/siva_%20copy.png

Single Entity GAURISHANKAR.

Since Childhood I’ve heard these words but could never unravel the facts or forces that goes around them. I’ve been quite naive in understanding the true meaning or the essentials about, what embodies the concept of feminism or masculinity or gender as a whole in true sense.

Though i frequently used to use such words in my essays and writings ,depicting and relating  to empowerment of the womenfolk at one hand and how brave and courageous are men in history.

But I was never able to gauge the real essence of these words, even after having almost vicarious experiences when the very significance of my being a women was in question and how i was being afflicted by the masculine beings, in all this i never realized how should i explore or should i explore the feminist in me ?, to get myself upright against the men.

The search began in the troubled waters, and still remained unidentified for some time,in the mean time i was actually away from all the problems and deplorable conditions, and that too without any feminism that came to rescue me.

I actually didn’t needed any gender role to help me nor any special femininity, i discovered that being a gender is being average but being a human is being the best to solve life and its issues in an objective and Superior way.

Being in control of one’s gender or sex controls the problem solving skills and limits our conscience for taking decisions in an unbiased manner is what i discovered eventually.

Its been only when i was able to think conscientiously about the other gender in specific and its nothing i keep against my own but its a way to differentiate between what is wrong and what is right, not who is wrong or who is right . it is completely off the base for any gender .

I’ve come across many textbooks during school time that our societal setup is governed by patriarchal or matriarchal structure in different, different communities or castes, influenced and maligned by favoritism and subjectivity, with regard to issues and concerns, dealing with gender roles and responsibilities. In the same way the Family, Relationships be it boyfriend and girlfriend, men and women, among friends, sisters and brothers, others, have this prominence of Domination by any of the gender controlling and occupying the major portions of decisions and role- responsibilities.

Here such setups and gender variance have influenced the peace and harmony of many relationships and almost created a divide among the two, due to inadvertent behavior .

The focus which i imply for this is to think yourself as  “NON GENDER”, i know this may sound weird and obnoxious but here may be, the key to bridge every difference and resolve issues when it comes to relationships and love.

 But we can try to achieve and attain good positive outcomes if we connect with the human side of our being and not the gender.what happens here i shall explain..

” when you have a fight say with your spouse , you may think about the verbal or non verbal behavior that affected you , and how one could demean your status , you being a man or women , got hit on your ego, your thoughts, your decisions, your ideas, your actions, here everything relates to your gender “first”- you may cry being a women, or man, or even burst out in anger being a man, or a women, the two cordially relates to the first gender being talked about , the second one if displayed such behavior would in normal settings be disapproved of ” .

So the thin line here is to Accept the behavior without the gender in concern, moreover its for both to consider the actions and deeds of others and self in a non gender specific way , and find more reasonable and logical occurrences for issues.

I cannot refrain myself from relating an Ideal relationship of Lord Shiva and Devi Parvati who are above any gender and complete forms of each other..

Shiva is called the Ardhnarishwar, that is half man 

and Devi parvati as Ardhangini .half women.

They are Incomplete without each other, their form is complete only when the two meet and join to form into one supreme part as  Gauri Shankar.

Every relationship should aim for such togetherness idealizing Shiv and Parvati who are above any gender norms and form

to sum up i can recall another very great statement that has affected me for long…                     that “the whole is more than the sum of its parts”. as stated by gestalts applies aptly here.