Tag Archives: acceptance

Acceptance

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You don’t need Acceptance from people who don’t accept the truth about you.

Shilpi

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Imagination is No Cure

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Every second and every moment of that second am not feeling good , I live in a state of loss , blank, depressed , sad , weak, unable to talk , eat or sleep.

I am not able to comprehend the fact that am so unable to enjoy the happiness of being married and the new life that succeeds, there’s absolutely no problem , people around me are putting good efforts to let me in and give space enough to adjust and live thoroughly.

But I feel like a culprit unable to control my emotions , tears immediately crawl down my face and spread the sadness in me and around me , where my hubby continuously tries to make me calm down even though he is tired and affected by office work , he still loves me and cares for me very much.

I feel guilty for not being able to adapt and accept my present, for am clinging to much to my family at home in Delhi and the longing continuous to grow inside me with every passing day, its just the feeling of being so far away from them that makes me burst into tears, the thought that am no longer with them makes me feel lonely and depressed.

Having been with them for the past 26 years ive never been to hostel, tuitions or any other place away from them not even the relatives or friends night out’s etc . so it makes things more difficult, located into such a different state not being able to meet or see them often makes me choke inside. Had I been located there, then at least i could have had some satisfaction that I can go or they can come to see me and life could have been all pleasant.

But what’s at hand needs to be tackled and imagination is no longer a cure for me now , as I go on thinking like there’s a park near our society I imagine my niece playing on its swings , then I imagine my mother sleeping beside me on my bed , it really makes things even more worse, the fact that am not accepting the reality is breaking me down and even not making things any good for my married life.

Am not interested in anything , I just go about the daily rituals , the daily life chores etc and not even talk or discuss anything with my hubby , it pains me and deeply saddens me when he leaves home for work in the morning , I feel guilty for he remains tensed to see me in such a state day in and day out, so my mental state is making my married life not any good.

Am unable to figure out what will I do to overcome all this mental sadness and longingness. All my wishes , desires, confidence, interests and tastes are becoming numb day after day. I don’t know where to look for help now .

Is it Important to “Fit In”

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Accept the Real Self.

Often you must have felt a severe urge to fit among your peers, group , teams, or at many places where there are people concerned and you can least be yourself in those moments for having to being alike.

The real self is hard to fit in at such times where it is not required, and one may feel part of the whole, but at other times there are many people who may negotiate for certain periods where they let their self hang around here or there and be part to the whole with a whole lot of pretending and may turn out having ludicrous behavior, or best stay mute all the time .

I have thought this quite enough about, what one can do in such moments where we have no option other than to fit in because certain occasions demand presence and absence may just worsen or strain the whole chain of relations and even crossover to the ones you may never know. 

To fit in one has to do a lot of changes and preparations that are disliked and performed dishearteningly by a significant lot of people, one of them being me. It ruins my composure when am asked to present myself for some occasions i loathe lightening and brightening  for those, because we have to be presentable and people just cannot accept the real you.

All these products, clothes, accessories and makeup as i refer them as (denting and painting things), eat up the real self, which is pure, lively and vibrant, and no one can accept the real skin nowadays because it has happened so much now that only a child is visibly in his /her real self now.

But since its a trend now and cannot be ignored and we cannot do anything other than to be the part  of whole, we can practice being calm, staying composed and best observe things happening around during such events and be non happening as much as we can.  

Live up to Life

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A beautiful picture i clicked in Rishikesh of the holy river Ganga

 The world is full of miseries and more miseries,am not starting on a pessimistic note rather explaining the hard reality of life that we would rarely love to believe in because, if we  accept the reality we would cease to act any further .

 To accept the change of circumstances in life is to accept yourself and the courage you show to adjust and make changes within, rather than the outer circles of your life.

This Acceptance does not mean you lack, the power to change or that you succumb to situations. its only when there are events that happen in life like, death, loss of love, breakup, calamities man made or natural, or even when we are not able to change a specific person and certain relations or events which go out of hands and we have nothing else to change about it or do, then comes the acceptance, the unnatural part of our natural self which we are not aware about.

It takes a lot, really a lot of courage to get over a certain event or crises in our life and get back to normal self. it may take days, months or even some years or a lifetime to get out of the depths of such painful events.

 here’s how we can do it or deal with it in in thoughts and thinking …

 Things do happen as they always do, what has to happen will surely happen no matter how good or bad or great you’ve been in your life. 

When you sit in a coffee shop, you sit there and look around you everything is moving , everything is going around and coming around and you are there, sitting holding your cup, life is still moving even if you are not there in the crowd and you stop to happen for a moment. its stillness in you , your actions but the world still moves and its the rule of the nature that nothing stops.

And this never ending , never stopping of nature teaches us to always keep moving no matter what happens , no matter what comes , if you are living , you breathe you live your life and this is what you are meant to do, to keep on moving, neither you have the power to stop yourself nor you have the power to stop the movement around you. the ones who live , live it all good. the best part is you have the choice to make things move again if you live .

But then moving on is one thing and a question would happen to you always is that why it had to be with you ?

Why  ME ? 

Why Not HIM, Why Not HER ?

 She is an Evil and He is a Sinner

Am a Saint and a Forgiver

And here you first need to think that its okay “ITS ME” now , what next, god picked me for this, maybe am the chosen one ..

I say this because bad things or rather struggles happen to those who are near to god, because pain makes you more closer to god and one remembers him in each and every moment of that pain or misery. Be it any survivor or any person our from a deep trouble always cherishes life more and lives it even more, remembering every moment as gift from god. Good things happen to everyone but struggle and pain comes to some, not everyone is so courageous and great to deal with them. 

Even LORD SHIVA , had to spent so many years in pain, disenchantment and samadhi when devi sati left his world, even the lords have moments of pain and turmoils. But then Lord SHIVA too accepted it all and also accepted devi parvati ( devi sati’s reincarnation)

 So its not just you and me or why only me , its everyone even the gods who were fortunate enough to have their share, because of their struggle and suffering we look up to them for removing our struggles. If the gods hadn’t had any suffering and we alone had it as humans, then would we be able to think about them, to be feeling the same way we feel or struggle with such misfortunes,no i hope not.

 Another very important way to deal with such life situations is to accept the loss and painful event, the realization that yes am unhappy and so be it , but yes i can be happy too,  moreover if am not able to help myself then how will i help the people around me to cope up with the same.

 A strong person can pull a weak person, but a weak person can never pull a weak person.

 So going by the above lines one should always be acceptably up in emotions so that he / she can pull the other person out of that troublesome situation or event. If today you are in control of your situation and you have accepted the reality that things cannot be changed and it will be like this all throughout then its best to accept and make amends in your thoughts at least the very same time, the moment you accept it in your thoughts things will start functioning your brain shall be more active enough to think out ways to overcome it because now you have complete hold of the situation and you are through with its process and objectives.

 Prolonging the pain and suffering would lead no where. you should explore, this that the bad events had to happen and you can never be in same set of emotions all your life and that you have to be happy some day, then why not that day be today even if things are not good and you cannot change it, but think about other factors like you have no diseases, no blindness, no lameness, every body part is intact by the grace of god, and u have your two or three meals for a day and that you don’t need to beg for that. But think about the people who actually have all this and the fact that its with them forever but still they live strong, and from this you are away living nicely. so the present is much more beautiful when compared to a whole life of pain, such comparisons help a lot to rediscover the real life happiness and to do away with pain.

 Always view every second of your life as worth living , don’t ruin it , life is much more than problems and losses, Be it if you live individually or with others your life is your own life, there’s nothing to lose just live for self and not for people or objects as i have discussed in my earlier post, as i believe that you come without anyone or anything and you go only with your KARMA. ” the grave has no boxes, neither the shroud has any pockets so what you wish to take away with you doesn’t come into existence at all. its all Namesake and rests in this physical world.

 You came alone, you go alone out of this world but what remains with you always is your  KARMA. Its Better to start working on karma to make your life more worth living and not to feel the things that stop your actions and take you away from your duties, as its easy to moan all your life over losses than to begin again from the scratch and therefore to sit back and remain in pain and suffering is almost an excuse.

life never stops ,life never ceases to happen

  Sun never ceases to give light, water never ceases to move, wind never ceases to flow and god never ceases to listen to your prayers, and till the time you live your karma always grow.

Killing Authenticity

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nothing to think, create, or learn without internet.

With growing technological advancement and the information explosion, people lack originality in their thoughts views and opinions, its embellished with the facts that we already know and there’s a need for good leaders who can lead with their heart, it is all because of

1. So much information explosion where every bit of knowledge is available at the ease of a click , hence there seems to be no originality in opinions and ideas that people can come up with moreover it hampers innovation.
2. People find the greatest NEED FOR APPROVAL which can only come through doing what the others want , and saying what others wish to listen, therefore authenticity is ruled out.
3. Fear of failure leads to following the old tracks and doing what is accepted and accompanies minimum risks.
4. We tend to believe what we are fed with , the information we receive and retain from the media, internet, books etc remains embedded in our heads , and hampers the creation of something new or novel.
5. No longer we go out in the dirt, in streets, in parks or neighborhood  because only exploring things hands on, in the nature can make us understand its different angles that can generate creativity.
6. having greater access to the right information stagnates the scope to try for new information or even come up with wrong marination that lead to the right information through trial and error process. but the internet has diminished the scope of even this approach where one could learn form mistakes and failures.
To overcome this and to fuel authenticity among the people,  we can create space and scope for people to be more authentic only if we Learn to ACCEPT all the move’s one makes , even if it leads to failure or success , it must be accepted and appreciated.
Once everyone accepts everyone there will be great leaders who are more authentic and lead with their heart.