Since Childhood I’ve heard these words but could never unravel the facts or forces that goes around them. I’ve been quite naive in understanding the true meaning or the essentials about, what embodies the concept of feminism or masculinity or gender as a whole in true sense.
Though i frequently used to use such words in my essays and writings ,depicting and relating to empowerment of the womenfolk at one hand and how brave and courageous are men in history.
But I was never able to gauge the real essence of these words, even after having almost vicarious experiences when the very significance of my being a women was in question and how i was being afflicted by the masculine beings, in all this i never realized how should i explore or should i explore the feminist in me ?, to get myself upright against the men.
The search began in the troubled waters, and still remained unidentified for some time,in the mean time i was actually away from all the problems and deplorable conditions, and that too without any feminism that came to rescue me.
I actually didn’t needed any gender role to help me nor any special femininity, i discovered that being a gender is being average but being a human is being the best to solve life and its issues in an objective and Superior way.
Being in control of one’s gender or sex controls the problem solving skills and limits our conscience for taking decisions in an unbiased manner is what i discovered eventually.
Its been only when i was able to think conscientiously about the other gender in specific and its nothing i keep against my own but its a way to differentiate between what is wrong and what is right, not who is wrong or who is right . it is completely off the base for any gender .
I’ve come across many textbooks during school time that our societal setup is governed by patriarchal or matriarchal structure in different, different communities or castes, influenced and maligned by favoritism and subjectivity, with regard to issues and concerns, dealing with gender roles and responsibilities. In the same way the Family, Relationships be it boyfriend and girlfriend, men and women, among friends, sisters and brothers, others, have this prominence of Domination by any of the gender controlling and occupying the major portions of decisions and role- responsibilities.
Here such setups and gender variance have influenced the peace and harmony of many relationships and almost created a divide among the two, due to inadvertent behavior .
The focus which i imply for this is to think yourself as “NON GENDER”, i know this may sound weird and obnoxious but here may be, the key to bridge every difference and resolve issues when it comes to relationships and love.
But we can try to achieve and attain good positive outcomes if we connect with the human side of our being and not the gender.what happens here i shall explain..
” when you have a fight say with your spouse , you may think about the verbal or non verbal behavior that affected you , and how one could demean your status , you being a man or women , got hit on your ego, your thoughts, your decisions, your ideas, your actions, here everything relates to your gender “first”- you may cry being a women, or man, or even burst out in anger being a man, or a women, the two cordially relates to the first gender being talked about , the second one if displayed such behavior would in normal settings be disapproved of ” .
So the thin line here is to Accept the behavior without the gender in concern, moreover its for both to consider the actions and deeds of others and self in a non gender specific way , and find more reasonable and logical occurrences for issues.
I cannot refrain myself from relating an Ideal relationship of Lord Shiva and Devi Parvati who are above any gender and complete forms of each other..
Shiva is called the Ardhnarishwar, that is half man
and Devi parvati as Ardhangini .half women.
They are Incomplete without each other, their form is complete only when the two meet and join to form into one supreme part as Gauri Shankar.
Every relationship should aim for such togetherness idealizing Shiv and Parvati who are above any gender norms and form
to sum up i can recall another very great statement that has affected me for long… that “the whole is more than the sum of its parts”. as stated by gestalts applies aptly here.